Love is a Disease [ Kiyoomi x Reader ]

12 : conscious

"Let's finally start our project."

Sakusa sits on the ground as he assembles the materials for our science project, the egg drop. I decided to sit in front of him so that I wouldn't worry about touching his physical body that would cause the germaphobe to freak out. But for the time we've spent on doing our project, it was so unusual for me to lack focus. I kept thinking on how me and Sakusa, a boy, were alone in my room. 

Why am I thinking about this? I wasn't like this when we first spent time together a-alone...

"L/N."

"Y-Yes?" I jolted up from surprise.

Sakusa paused for a moment, probably wondering why I responded in a high-pitched tone. But he eventually followed up on what he was going to say.

"Can you sit beside me?"

"Pardon?" My eyes grew huge.

"Don't misunderstand. It's easier for you to explain how our project will work if you're closer."

My heart was beating rapidly and I just wanted punch my chest right now. I can't explain why I was like this, but I suspect that this was all because of what Hori told me. When she asked me of what my feelings for Sakusa were.

Friends? Close friends? Crush?

Me thinking of the word "crush" made me blush. 

"L/N can't you stand up?"

Oh right, I forgot he asked me to sit beside him.

I thought that I can finally be distracted with the science project. But sitting beside Sakusa just made it worse. My heart was beating faster and at times, our the side of our hands would touch. As expected, Sakusa flinched and felt annoyed at every time that would happen. He would also spray alcohol at his hands to disinfect our touch.

Apparently my heart is racing for this guy?

After a couple of hours, we finally managed to finish our science project. But when we tested it out, it just seemed to keep failing for multiple times. 

"Maybe there's a miscalculation with my algorithm. And I rarely make mistakes..." I say as I bite the fingernail from worries. 

"I feel like we need to extend the barbecue sticks and not just in a form of a three-dimensional triangle."

Shit, he's right. How could I be so clueless over a simple matter.

"Precisely... sorry if I ended up being a burden as your partner." 

I couldn't look Sakusa in the eyes as all I felt was guilt. It was Sakusa who asked me to be his partner but I did nothing except for the draft.

"It's okay L/N. Don't worry."

"Sakusa-san."

"What?"

"What if we suddenly fall in love with each other?" I asked, still not looking at him in the eyes.

"Huh?"

Of course he would be startled. I suddenly asked him a question that was out of topic.

"I don't know. Hori just asked me that weird question earlier. Sorry if I might have offended you in a way."

It was so embarrassing to open up to Sakusa when the topic's about him. But my mind was just so filled on him, and I think that the best way to solve this is to confront the matter.

Sakusa response made my heart stop beating from the moment we were inside my house. "I chose you because I knew that you wouldn't fall for me. You're not even my fan so I doubt that that'll happen."

"How about you? Will you fall in love with me?" My words were just getting blunter and blunter but I didn't care.

"Not a chance."

My heart felt like it was stabbed by something sharp. And I just laughed it out with pain and sorrow in my chest.

"Sakusa-san can you please go home early today? I'm sorry I feel like I'm not feeling better today."

"You should've told me earlier. I'm sorry for forcing you to go shopping and then do the project. Your health is your priority."

"No, I actually just felt it right now so it's not your fault okay?" I put out a faded smile on my face.

"Okay."

He headed towards the door and I shut it right before my face. 

"I-I... do I like Sakusa-san? I doubt... there's no way..."

Maybe?

— end of chapter 12—