french girl • j.jk

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a click of the gun was heard.

you slowly opened your eyes and looked around, the adrenaline of the situation giving you more than enough energy to look in the eyes of jungkook.

the gun wasn't loaded.

your body went limp in confusion but you kept your eyes open with your brows slightly furrowed. your heartbeat was so slow that it hurt.

the last thing you heard was jungkook's unsteady breathing out of sheer joy as he picked you up before running back home, not feeling any warmth as you passed out.

i couldn't compromise even as the hostage. he didn't give me the chance.

the frostnips on your knuckles were still present when you slowly peeled your eyes open in the familiar bedroom with jungkook on your side, watching over you with the happiest glint in his eyes.

"hey baby."

your heart pounded at the sound of his voice. your sleepiness quickly wore off as you sat up and felt rather hot inside the room.

the anger evident in your tone, you asked, "jungkook, what the fuck were you thinking?"

his face morphed into one of confusion as his cute uneven lips puckered outwards. "what do you mean?"

"what the fuck do you mean what do i mean? you almost let me die!"

you were heaving like a madman as he chuckled, "you know i wouldn't actually let you die!"

with your eyes shut tightly, you tried to steady your breathing. the icy cold attitude was worrying your boyfriend.

"i fainted," you emphasized, "because of your stupid fucking game. do you get off to hurting me?!"

you opened your eyes to see him slightly leaning away from you and offended. "how could you say that? you know damn well how much i love you. just look at our promise rings," he dreamily sighed, "they have so much more meaning to them now..."

the blank stare on your face urged him to explain his intentions.

"i was inspired by cameron hooker," he sighed when you stayed silent, starting to look more confused than mad. "i researched some stockholm syndrome cases and his peeked my interest. he had his victim shoot herself with an unloaded gun as a test of loyalty."

"i'm fucking done with you."

jungkook blinked.

"i hate you so damn much."

he was quiet.

"you're psycho, you know that?"

his eyes looked empty.

"god, i knew there was something wrong with me when i found villains more interesting than heroes."

the corners of his lips curved upwards.

"i hate that i love you, jungkook. fuck, i think i'm in love."

maybe it was the shock of your near-death experience, or the cottage drove you insane in the matter of days, but you pulled him by the collar of his christmas sweater and crashed your lips onto his.

you hated that you loved him.

26th december

you had resorted to clinging onto jungkook. you were back on the train, having said your half-hearted goodbyes to mrs. jeon. you never questioned about her former husband, jungkook's runaway father.

you weren't prepared to find out more about jungkook, not after almost dying for him.

one earbud was offered to you while you were observing the white view outside. "i wrote a song for you," your seatmate whispered. "i was gonna play it on christmas but it sort of slipped my mind."

overwhelmed by curiosity, you held it to your ear. no one had ever written a song for you. on a normal day, you would have gushed about even the idea of jungkook doing such a sweet gesture, but days have been abnormal as of late. you stayed silent until the music started playing.

you chuckled when the korean lyrics filled your ear. "how am i supposed to understand this?"

"i didn't want you to only focus on the words."

jungkook was an artist in many ways, but you had only known of one until then. the piano notes along with the rhythm of the rain and bass made you subconsciously close your eyes in sweet comfort.

he wanted you to focus on the romantic melody which you conveyed the feeling of almost instantly. his voice was filled with love and your heart fluttered, even though it sounded a bit like a demo for an actual musician. it was raw and perfect.

you whispered, "what's it called?"

"still with you."

your eyes shot open. the moment you made eye contact with him, you realized he'd been watching your reaction. he loved the way you smiled before it faltered at the title.

why were you so disturbed?

jungkook hadn't changed in all that time you thought you knew him. you were just starting to know him and your heart was already heavy with burdens. he wasn't still with you.

he was always with you.

you pulled the earbud out of his ear to place it on your other one. you took his phone and replayed the song, leaning your forehead against the window with a frown. you were going to listen over and over until it became okay to love him.

right then, it felt wrong to be with him. wrong to feel like you were stuck with him.

six hours of the same song on repeat, not a word from jungkook. "i'll always be with you," you said to yourself. he caught your mumble and smiled as wide as his face would allow. you didn't pay mind to it even as you left the station, back to your dorm.

his rosy cheeks hurt from the smile still present on his face. she likes the song!

the both of you ditched unpacking. you only picked up your laptop from your backpack, ready to finish your holiday assignments regardless of your exhaustion. you didn't have much time left but you were determined to submit them all that night.

"you want me to help?" he had lied down next to you on the bed, peeking into your work.

you mindlessly asked, "don't you have yours to do?"

"i finished them all already."

"when?"

"i pulled a few all nighters back in your hometown."

your brows slightly rose in surprise while you were still focused on your essay. you hadn't noticed any eyebags on his face before. you didn't look at him to check if he had any then. maybe the lack of sleep is what drives him crazy.

that would explain a lot of things.