The Secret

Lunch (Date?)

**Elaine (Rëds) POV**
*RING**RING**RING*

"Mo-" SHIT! That was the bell! I was dazed and about to have that dream again.....I could feel it......and it felt.....good? For once??? There was no way......what could be different? I looked over to see Matthew still laying on me. Only now he was in my lap. Of course, I tried to move him, only to realize he was crying again....in his sleep?? "Matthew?" I shook him a little, "NOOO!" He screamed. I didn't even realize this kid COULD scream. Luckily for us we were in a secluded part of the hall but there were still classes nearby so I had to move him before half the school came after us. He was surprisingly light for his height, he looked about 5' 8"? But was like a small kitten in my arms. I could see the tears streaming down his face as I rushed him to the gym. I knew no one would be in there and it was the furthest place from the student body so we'd be all alone.......why did that thought make me so nervous?? Yet I was smiling. I continued to run and finally made it to the gym. I snuck in through the back doors and took us into the girls locker room. If we got caught I could easily lie and say he got lost and I was trying to help him. I sat down and Matthew stayed in my lap. I tried to put him down but he wasn't going. "Matthew-" I started to say. He looked up as I called him......with that sad stare again, his spring green eyes pierced my heart in a way I didn't even know was possible.......I sighed, love Isnt something you feel! Remember that. "You don't wanna get down do you?" I questioned him gently. He was so frail but not at all weak.

He avoided eye contact and nodded slightly. I placed my hand under his chin and made him look at me. "Could you at least tell me what's going on with you?" I tried to ask as softly as possible. This not yelling thing was definitely going to kill me, but I couldn't bring myself to raise my voice at him......not again. Just looking at him made me.......I shook my head of the thoughts. Focus Eł! He tried to pull away from me so I gently brought him back. "Please Matt?" I'd never used the word please before, but I could tell anger would get me no where with him, and it became very clear to me, at this point, that it wasn't always the answer.

**Matthews POV**
I wanted to answer her really really bad! She looked so sweet, even though she was mean to me earlier.......she was the first person to ever apologize to me for yelling! And she meant it and everything! Or she seemed to, I don't know what about her made me so........little. She didn't seem like a mommy to me, but at the same time she got to me so easily.......I looked up at her when she said "Please" no one ever said that to me before. I almost expected her to call me something else....but I liked Matt, I'd always been called Mattie and it never felt like me. Matthew wasn't perfect either but when she said it I had to resist the urge to drop down to my knees. She was just so dominating yet calm and gentle. Like she'd break me with love and then cuddle me for hours on end after. I answered her softly.......

**Elaine (Rëds) POV**

"Yes ma'am" he said to me with a soft whisper. My heart dropped at the words. Did he just?? I tried to maintain my grip and hide my flustered look, but I knew he could tell. Was he messing with me?? Or could he be......No! I had to be wrong? But it all made so much sense. The naps, the look, the running away.........UGH I didn't have time for this. I focused back on the boy in my lap. He was now facing me. "Are you okay Matt?" I asked as calmly as I could. He nodded a little. He clearly didn't like talking unless he had to. I spent only a few hours with him but I could already tell. God why was it so hot?! Why did I want to rip his clothes off and-and.......What the hell! I needed to focus, my intrusive thoughts would have to wait. "Are you sure bud?" I tried thinking of nicknames but Matthew didn't give me many options. I thought it might help him feel safer. He nodded again. "Why were you crying sweetie? Did you have a bad dream?" I asked. I realized I'd called him sweetie but it was too late, he seemed to be ok with it though so I'd ask him about it later. I'd never really been a nickname person so this was new........He looked down and I saw tears forming again. I don't know why but I just grabbed him and held him tight.....He cried into me as I rocked him back and forth and rubbed his back. After a few minutes his tears slowed and I set him on the bench while I ran to grab tissue. I was worried about him so I gave him one of the stuffies I carried in my backpack in case Lily or Max ever had a breakdown or really bad day. It was a light blue bunny. I'd gotten it for Louis but never got to give it to him. It should make someone happy now. I handed him the bunny and was about to go when I heard the softest "mommy..." I turned around but Matt was already snuggled with the bunny and drifting off, he had one of the ears in his mouth. I just shook it off and got the tissue for him. After I cleaned him up I let the boy sleep on me for the remaining 45 minutes of lunch. We were one of the few schools with an hour lunch break.

After about 30 minutes I checked the time. Lunch would be over in about ten minutes, fifteen if we were lucky. I started to shake Matthew a little to wake him up. I couldn't let any of the girls see him in here, especially not with a baby blue bunny. He whined a little and continued sleeping. I shook him a little harder and he whined again. "Matt you need to get up. We gotta go to class." I said gently. He whined more and huffed at me. God he was a brat. He hid it so well though. "Matt you need to get up now. We only have a few more minutes until class starts." I said. "No!" He huffed. "I tired!" I thought I heard him wrong, but I really didn't have time right now. "Matthew.......I'm warning you." I didn't like using my mommy voice on him. Shit I didn't even know I had one but we needed to go and if he was in little space then we were definitely in trouble. I would have to break my own rules here but keep it as minimal as possible, but I honestly didn't have a choice. Plus I was a certified caregiver.......