Dune Point {Spencer Reid x Reader}

• Four •

This morning had been like no other morning you'd experienced in your entire life. For once in your life, everything felt perfectly comfortable. There was no moment when you woke up where your chest tightened with the impending anxiety that you knew the day would bring. It didn't take you years to get out of bed. And you'd never been this cheery in the morning.

Maybe there was some effect this new place had on you. Maybe it was that. Or maybe it was less of a something, and more of a someone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After grabbing a coffee and breakfast sandwich for each of you at the cafe down the street, you had no choice but to tag along with Spencer to his place. You'd seen his apartment a few times now because in the past few weeks you'd often go over to his place to watch movies and eat takeout or play board games... and eat takeout.

Every time you were here, it was usually untidy. Nothing you felt you had to worry about, but that was because you'd never seen his room. Spencer rubbed his eyes as he briskly walked into his room, not thinking about closing it off from you until it was too late. He walked into his bathroom to brush his teeth, leaving his door open for you to examine what was in front of you.

You were greeted with clothes, shoes, and books scattered around the room, an unmade bed, and empty glasses of what you'd assumed was juice or something, noting that Spencer doesn't drink.

"So, I guess that big brain of yours isn't really about keeping things neat?" You joked as Spencer pushed the toothpaste out of the tube and onto his toothbrush. He looked back at you, puzzlement displayed upon his features. His eyes flicked down to the mess, widening, then back up to you. He just blinked and swallowed hard, turning away from you and pushing his toothbrush into his mouth.

The look he gave you accompanied by the silence diluted the warmth of the comfort you had felt from earlier this morning into nothing but an aloof memory. He said something to you with his eyes in that moment. It was a paradox of pleading. His eyes begged you not to talk about it, but it was what was behind that plea that caught your attention. You know what they say, "the eyes are the windows to the soul." There is no doubt in your mind that what laid behind those windows was begging to escape, you just didn't know what yet.

Spencer noticed it immediately after he'd given you that look. That cloak that he had spent time so delicately peeling off returned to your figure, engulfing you. The jokey smile that played on your face diminished just like that. He instantly regretted it. He knew you weren't the happiest person, he just didn't know you were this fragile.

"Y/N," Spencer tried, but his mouth was still full of toothpaste.

You silently turned to sit on his couch, knowing that you were being a bit harsh. It was just so hard for you to be yourself – your whole self – around another person, that one action or comment – as minuscule as it may be – could pull that cloak right back onto you.

Spencer was your comfort, but you were fragile.

But, then again, it seemed that Spencer was also fragile.

You were both shattered glasses that had just been glued back together by each other. Even the smallest blow of wind could knock both of you down.

The two of you created a nonsensical, malignant mix.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The short trip to work was filled with silence; however, this time, it was not as natural. While the tension was palpable, you both felt the other was impalpable. Though you were in the same car, you felt like you two were in completely different worlds. The two of you weren't mad at each other, you had just lost that special comfort you'd found in each other's presence for the time being.

The day at work was no different than the car ride, for the most part.

When the two of you walked into the office, Derek Morgan decided to pop into your faces. "Oh, well, well, well. Look what we have here. Pretty girl and pretty boy gettin' a little freak-ay!" Both of you had the same reaction, just shrugging off the comment and heading to your desks in silence. You both heard Derek turn to Emily asking, "Did I say something or–"
"Morgan, just.. don't." Emily replied. Derek shrugged and sat at his desk as Emily's worried gaze followed the two of you. She had always been protective of Spencer, and even though she barely knew you, and you barely let her in, she was probably the closest girl friend you had here.

Throughout the day, Spencer would sneak glances at you until he thought he mustered up the nerve to talk to you. He cautiously got up out of his desk chair, preparing to walk up to you and talk, but then you made eye contact with him. This was the first time you'd met his eyes since you got in the car that morning. He saw the emptiness within you, that flame of anger you'd held so dearly – that had soon become a warmth of comfort – had fizzled into but a burnt wick of pitiful nothingness.

Spencer, unable to come up with the words for how he wanted to approach you, just continued walking nonchalantly to the break room for a coffee that he desperately needed, ignorant to the fact that you'd followed him in the same direction about a minute later.

Spencer had been mindlessly stirring the already very dissolved sugar into his coffee for maybe a full minute, completely zoned out, by the time you had entered the break room. He was shaken out of his trance when you gestured to the Keurig behind him, saying, "Can I-uh–"
"Oh, yeah, yeah." Spencer positioned himself out of your way, now watching you make your coffee while he finally discarded the sodden wood stick he used for stirring and took a sip of his sweet coffee.

You tried to ignore the fact that Spencer had reverted back to watching you from afar, profiling your every move. You decided you couldn't let this charade go on for this long, so you forced yourself to believe that it was in your best interest to speak up.

"Look Spencer," you started, noticing him pick himself up from his slumped position leaning against the counter. "I-I'm sorry about the comment I made earlier... about your room. I-uh, I don't know if you want to talk about this, but I know you. I know that it's not just you being lazy. I-I'm sorry."
"How would you know what it is?" Spencer meekly asked back. It wasn't snappy, it was more genuine because he knew this was his chance to restart the process of slowly but surely peeling that cloak back off. If he was more open, maybe he could gain your trust.
"I... I just know... okay?" Spencer was hoping he'd get more than that, but the Keurig had finished filling your cup, so you turned your entire attention to adding sugar into your coffee, completely disassociating from the abandoned conversation.

Spencer decided to make another attempt to rekindle the small talk.
"Did you need help moving in? I can help you set up your furniture, unpack, decorate... I can even be on refreshment duty." He forced a small, breathy chuckle. The corners of your mouths turned up into a tight smile. You figured you wanted to keep the only friendship you had at this godforsaken job, so you accepted.

"Saturday? Nine AM?"
"I'll bring the coffee." Spencer gave you a thumbs up with a tight-lipped smile which you returned, adding a slow nod. You swiftly exited the break room, leaving Spencer alone with his thoughts, once again.

Those thoughts particularly focused on you.