Haven

Chapter Twenty Four

The situation with going to the hospital was a bit of an ordeal for me, I was terrified that the socials would come and take me away from Alex and I generally hated sterile environments. If I had to guess why, I'd guess that it's something to do with being taken from my mom and into hospitals and group homes from a young age.

However, Alex being rich made it a much nicer state of affairs to find myself in. There was no wait, they told me instantly that I had broken my scaphoid in my wrist, and had broken two knuckles, resulting in a nice case and a free pass from chores for the weeks that followed.

Unfortunately, I was told it could require surgery if there was no improvement after 8 weeks of having the cast on. It caused an underlying irritability, as did the fact my adoption would turn out to be more complicated then one would initially have assumed.

It involved my mother. While she was deemed unfit to be a fucking mother years ago, her approval over the situation was somehow still relevant. Although my jackass of a social worker had assured me she couldn't actually stop anything, it was a formality on their part to inform her of the situation, and I would be obliged to see her, if she so wished.

Hence why I found myself sitting back in the room I had been just before I met Alex, while I waited for him to show up and collect me. This time, though, he was sat next to me and my social worker was on the opposite side of the room, with Beka Ryans.

My mother was a mousy woman, you'd think with a name like that she might have some spunk, but no. She was frail, you could tell she was once pretty, but the heroin made her look older 40 years old. Her wrinkles were imbedded deeply into her pale face. She had the sleeves of cardigan pulled down over her hands, and her bleach blonde hair pulled back in a tidy ponytail.

You could tell she was making the effort, but she looked like a stranger to me. The only similarity between us being those bright green eyes.
She had a timid smile on her face, as she eyed me cautiously. I wondered if she knew the effect this would have on me, I wondered if anybody in the room did. I figured they probably didn't, people had this belief that I was stronger than I was and that I was able for all the shit that kept happening.

But I had grown this attachment to my new life, and to having a father figure, someone who could handle me. Thus, I found myself sitting across from my mother. Originally I had a lot of anger inside, but it was gone in that moment. I had been thinking of that dream that haunts me, and all the times she had let me down. But when I saw her I felt pity towards her. It was pitiful.

The social worker cleared his throat, pulling me from my thoughts and I instantly felt all eyes on me. Seriously? I'm to take the lead here. Perfect!

I looked to the prick, scowling. "Is your job not to, you know, make this easier? If you're going to just sit there waiting for me to take the lead you might as well fuck off and give us a bit of privacy!" He looks embarrassed, but sensing Alex's deep frustration towards my outburst stopped me spending too long gloating that I'd upset the social worker again.

While my mother couldn't hold back her snicker, my father couldn't hold back his lecture. "Jaida, if I have to tell you again to watch your mouth, you will not like the result. Last warning." He warns me, his brow raised in warning. I did nod to him, acknowledging said warning.

The social worker did begin to do his job by this point, explaining we were just there for a supervised visitation and could speak freely to one another.

Beka took that as her cue, meeting my eye and at least having the decency to look guilty for all the shit I'd been put through.
"I'm so sorry Jadey, I should've told him about you a long time ago. There's so much I should've done but at minimum I should've told you both."

I'm sure my face gave away how much I resented her for that one, considering how sick she looked after seeing my reaction. But I couldn't see the point in making her feel worse.
"Yeah but you did eventually, so no harm done." I tell her. "And I'm fine. Things are going really well for me, so stop looking so guilty."

She nods, and the tension in the room is the biggest issue. It would be more helpful if it was just her and I.
"I know I'm a terrible mother." She admits, no arguments there. "But I never wanted any of this happen. You and Jazz have all this support and great people in your lives that I never had. Which I'm so grateful for. All I want is to know that I didn't completely fuck up your lives."

I sigh, how has she twisted this into being about how she feels? "Have you spoken to Jazz?" I quip, uninterested in feeding into her pity party. I wonder if this is how I sound to Alex? Broken and using my past as an excuse for being a fuck up? Surely not.

She shakes her head. "I didn't think she'd want to see me."
I chuckle. "Out of me and Jasmine, she's the forgiving one." I tell her, watching her sink in her seat. "But Jasmine is doing great, finished college, working in social care ironically enough, and living with her long term foster parents in the city."

We did just fine without you, bitch. If only I could say that without sending her into a spiral. She had to be clean to be allowed to see me. I wasn't being blamed on messing that up. Again.
"You two are close then?" She remarks, and I see a spark of feistiness flicker in her eyes.

I shrug. "We keep up." I say simply.

The conversation had lasted a few minutes longer, and on a more relaxed level too. But it does end with her asking Alex to make sure I was nothing like her. Your wish is my command Beka. No fucking problem. Seeing her like that scared the shit out of me.

But not as much as Alex's cold demeanor on our way back to the house. One would expect a bit of compassion after such a session, but with Alex all I got was consistency. And I knew I had punishment for abusing my social worker coming my way. I had used up my free passes.

It didn't come as a surprise when Alex sent me to my room, hot on my heels as I obeyed his order. Nor was the lecture about disrespecting people unnecessarily surprising to me. And even him telling me to bend over my desk chair as he pulled his belt through the loops.

However, I did feel the need to protest. "Come on, he's useless he wasn't trying to mediate at all!" I argue and Alex presses his lips in a firm line as he points to the desk chair.

So I tried a good old fashioned guilt trip. "You're supposed to love me." I pout, considering throwing in the dad bomb too. But I knew when I was ready to call him that, it had to be for the right reason.

My heartless father laughed at my attempt, before giving me one last chance to go down the easy way. And this time I obliged him, stomping over to my chair before bending over it. No sooner than I did, 5 hard licks fell across what felt like the exact same spot, causing me to hiss. But he didn't relent. By the time we got to magic number 30 I was in tears, and my ass was on fire.

My pride kicked in quickly, as I kept my back turned to him and tried to wipe away the hot tears streaming down my face. I was mad at him. Even though I knew I pushed it too far, I allowed myself to hate him for hurting me.

He tried to pull my shoulder back to whirl me around to face him but I shook him off. "Leave me alone." I mutter, turning to face him and give him the look to get out. He looked unbothered by my cold reaction, simply shrugging.

"Fine, have your sulk if you must. But I'm promising you that every single time I hear you curse at someone or even speak to them like that we'll be doing this same thing again." He points his finger at me, and I just look down to the carpet, not wanting to go for round 2 so soon.

"Okay." I mutter back to him, and I see him nod in my peripheral before he walks out of my room, giving me the space I needed.  

What a day!