Being a Banner [ 1 of JA ]

23

"Well, I don't think Levi meant it," I tell Harrison, though he still twiddles his fingers. "How did you know that this was Jax's hoodie?"
"He wearses it a lot," Harrison answered.
"Harry, where's your mommy?" I asked. The boy shrugged. He didn't say anything else after that. As I threw the hoodie in the wash, I quickly saw that Harrison was about to pick up my beanie.
"Ah, ah, ah, you can't touch that," I say as I threw it in the washer, and closing the door.
After a minute of the first rinse cycling of the washer, Harrison asked, "Where's your mommy?"
I paused. Like I said, I've never talked about her, and I was sad to say I've never thought about her either. I couldn't even remember what she looked like, and the only pictures that hang in frames are me as a kid, and Dad usually holding me when I was younger. I've never really cared about Mother's Day either, which was very sad, considering I do have a mother, I just don't know where she went.

"I don't know." I said to Harrison, though I don't look at him. Jax and Levi have never asked me about my mom, and I'm glad they haven't. But this was even harder to say to a young boy who has a mother, but not a father. Something in my chest started to feel heavy, and it may have just been the many emotions I've been faced with recently, but my heart had actually felt heavy.
"My mommy's name is Carmen, what's yourses?" Harrison asked. A lump in my throat immediately formed, and my face flushed.
I don't know my own mother's name.
I just about felt like shit at this point. I felt like the worst child ever. I didn't even know what letter it started with. Like Harrison had done once before, I shrugged with my arms crossed over my chest, and looking off into who knows where.
"I don't know."

*************

After I had put the clothes in the dryer, I decided to take Harrison back to his apartment. We weren't talking after the whole mother thing, so I took him to the elevators. When we got in, he pushed button number three. We were on the seventh floor, and I live on the ninth which is almost like a penthouse. It always has me thinking: the higher floors are more expensive, and Dad's a scientist, his company must be loaded but the odd thing is we don't get any bills for rent. We do sometimes, but Dad then has to drive down to my uncle for some reason.

The elevator stops on the eighth floor, which is where the gym is, which also means a bunch of sweaty people. Just think of that: a small confined space full of sweaty work out gurus. Yuck. I prepare to take the horrific smell of sweat, but when the doors open, Harrison and I are greeted by a very confused Dalia. Her brown eyes nearly pop out of her skull in awe as she sees me.
"Whoa! Hey Kerry!" She smiles as she steps in. "Whoo! I am getting lost in this building!"
I giggled, "Can't be to bad, you found me!"
"You're right!" Daila laughed. "How've you been?" Before I could reply, her eyes darted to Harrison, and another big smile crossed her face. She gasped and put a hand over her chest. "You didn't tell me you had a little brother!" She smiled, waving down to Harrison.
For some reason, I jumped at this and began to freak out. "Oh! No! No! I promise you I'm an only child, he's my friend's little brother. He like to wander the building without telling his big brother." I smiled down at Harrison, lightly chuckling. The small boy didn't reply, but stare straight into my eyes. "I'm just taking him back to his apartment — "

"Is that your mommy?" Harrison asks, tugging on my hand. My face flushed white, and so did Dalia's, but then she smiled as her cheeks turned pink.
"No, Harrison!" I say while gritting my teeth and forcing a laugh. Dalia giggled as she covered her mouth. I kept forcing my laughter until I could Dalia's died out. "What floor are you looking for?"
"Well... Which one has food?" Dalia chuckled.
"None. You've got to go walk to McDonalds here or something," I explain. Dalia grunted in exhaustion, making me laugh. As the elevator doors open, I waved to Dalia as Harrison took my by the hand and led me into the hallway.

When we arrived at Levi's door, I could hear muffled voices of Levi telling Lola, Lana, and Lacey to shut up. Once I knock at the door, the voices go silent. A few quick seconds, and the apartment door opens to Levi, a fake smile across his face.
"Oh." He says, relieved. "I thought you were the landlord."
"You're lucky I'm not." I smirk.
"I am. Anyways, care to join to party?" Levi asks, gesturing into his apartment.
"This party sucks don't come in!" I heard Lacey call from somewhere inside.
"No," I said, "I can't join your party, but I will give you a house warming gift," I motion Harrison to come out from the side. Levi looks at him, entirely shocked.
"How did you — " But Harrison was already passing Levi, entering his apartment.
"You really shouldn't be saying 'get lost' all the time." I tell Levi.
"But — How did he — Sorry if he caused you trouble, Banner," Levi said.
"It's fine," I tell him with a wave of my hand. "We were doing laundry together."
Levi laughed as he leaned on the doorframe. "So, you're not gonna stay?"
"Gotta work," I lied.
"Okay, well, thanks again. And sorry." Levi says.
I nod and shrug. "No problem." I was turning around to leave, until I heard Jax, and saw him hustling to get up here.

"Hey! Banner! Wait!" He called out.
"Yeah?" I asked once he was at the doorframe.
"Would uh..." Jax says. He looked at the ground, then back at me.
"Would I...?" I smiled, which made him laugh.
"Could I get my sweatshirt back?"
"Oh, sure," I replied. "You better praise me because I'm washing it, and it may be the only clean item you own."
Jax laughed and shook his head. "Thank you."
I nodded. "Well, I better get a move on. See you later." Then he closed the door and I walked away awkwardly in silence. I was at the elevator when I heard, "He totally likes you!" I turn around to see Dalia hiding being the corner of the hall.

"First of all: Were you stalking me? And second: EW!" I cried.
"First off: Yes, but that's not the point. And second: Yes he does! Do you see the way he looks at you?" She smiles.
"We are just friends!" I exclaim with a bit of laughter. Dalia giggled with me as we entered the elevator.
"How long have you known him?" She asked as I hit the button for seventh floor.
"Like... Eight years, maybe." I answer.
"You kept him in the friend zone for eight years?" Dalia asked. I couldn't stop laughing and shaking my head.

"No! We are just friends! And look at me, really: I'm chubby, my shoulders are way too big, I'm too muscular — "
"You are too cute!" Dalia smiled.
"I'm a whole year younger than him — I should be in the eighth grade." I retorted.
"I was older than some of my boyfriends." Daila urged on.
"I don't even like dresses!" I say with my hands falling to my big thighs.
"A boy loves a girl for who she is." Dalia replied.
"I have problems socializing."
"You're doing a fine job of talking now." Dalia finished with a smirk.
"That's because I already know you." I laughed.

The elevator took us to the ninth floor, and we both stepped out and stood in the hall.
"Jax's just isn't the guy. He's my best friend and I know everything about him, it'd just be too weird!" I explain. "And what if something went wrong? We wouldn't be best friends anymore."
"You know Kerry, we find better things in people than we already know." Dalia said. She smiled and began to walk down to her door. I rolled my eyes with a smile.
Seeing Dalia walk down the hall reminded me of something important.
"Dalia wait!" I called out. She stops and turns around in the hall. I run up to her, already asking my question.
"Has my Dad told you about something?" I ask. The bewildered look on Dalia's face tells me she doesn't know anything at all. "Something... About my mother?"

I should be the worst daughter ever to lie and ask the girl who likes my dad, if he's said anything about my mother who I know nothing of.
"No..." Dalia says slowly.
I nod in understanding. "Okay, well, I'm so sorry for that dumb question. Goodbye."
"Goodbye." She smiled as she opened her apartment door. I waved bye and went back to the elevators to be back in the wash room.
In the back of my mind I feared she was going to tell Dad that I stupidly asked if she knew a thing about my mother. I was so mad at myself that I started to angrily fold the shirts and jeans and slam them into the basket.

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[ I love this chapter :) ]