Dune Point {Spencer Reid x Reader}

• Two •

"I-uh, I d-don't know w-what you're talking about..."
"C'mon, you don't think I haven't noticed your zealous presence around me? Your intense staring? Your interminable profiling of my every step? What's the deal, Doctor?" You spat the word "Doctor" as you tried your hardest to maintain your composure. But your built up rage of the last week added to the fact that someone else – your colleague, nonetheless – knows about your secluded hideaway was getting the best of you.

Spencer let his chin sink until you were only able to see the top of his head. He stayed quiet for a moment until he finally squeaked out, "I'm curious."
"Curious?" You raised an eyebrow as you questioned him.
"You just– you haven't really socialized with anyone on the team – or talk at all, for that matter – but then you make this huge break in the case and... I don't know, I guess I'm just trying to figure you out." Spencer took a deep sigh. Then the silence fell over the two of you again.

You didn't really know how to react to what he'd just said. You'd realized over the week that he was probably some sort of genius based on all the random knowledge he knew, plus how fast his words would spew out of him like his mouth couldn't keep up with his brain. Him being a genius wasn't helping you in this situation where he could probably figure out everything about you just by asking the right questions. But you wouldn't let him do that. Instead, you diverted the conversation.

"You never answered my question."
"Hm?" He finally looked up from his hands, after what felt like hours of only being able to see the top of his head.
"You didn't tell me how you found this place," you bluntly stated.
"Oh, uh, do-did you really want to know? I thought that was just some rhetorical–" he cut himself off, took a sigh, and continued. "Okay. Um. Well..." He slowly began.
"I-is it something personal? I mean, I don't wanna overstep any boundaries so–" You felt like you'd crossed a line by asking a simple question.
"No, yeah, it's–uh, it's fine." Spencer took a moment to gather his thoughts. It was like he felt it was his obligation to tell you, that you needed to hear this. You didn't know what you were about to get as a story, since yours was so... simple.

Spencer cleared his throat and spoke matter-of-factly, "I'm telling you this because I want you to feel like you can trust me. Like you can trust everyone on this team." He looked at you sincerely, and you stayed quiet, letting him go on. The fact that he thought you couldn't trust him flew over your head before he began.

"Ten years and ten months ago, I was... kidnapped... by an unsub we were chasing. Well, we–uh, we didn't know it was him until it was too late, y'know? Then... uh... well I got tortured and drugged and... and I got addicted to the drug – hydromorphone. Dilaudid." Spencer kept pausing briefly to clear his throat or let out a breath, like he was stalling until he had to finally rip the bandaid off. "So, uh, one night, after a particularly rough case, I..." Spencer clears his throat again. "I wanted to use... so bad... but I realized I didn't have any left. So, I called my dealer and he told me to meet me in one of the abandoned houses on the top of Dune Street, and uh, I met him in the backyard and I noticed the sunset. It was... god it was absolutely gorgeous. Like beyond words. And maybe I was in such a distorted state of mind that, I-I walked away. Well, I mean I had already payed for the drugs, so in the moment, I just took them with me, and–uh, I walked out of the house and found the broken gate, which led me to this bench. I-uh... I got high up here a few times, but... when I finally decided to get some help, I came here to just get away... without the drugs... Today's my 10th anniversary of being sober, so I figured I should come to celebrate."

Spencer took a deep breath in, exhaling, "So yeah. Now you know."

You remained speechless. You didn't know how to respond to a story as intimate as that. He spoke so unsure of himself, like he was blindly leading himself out of a forest he'd been lost in for years. This was untouched territory that no one outside the team knew about.