Mint [H.S.]

10

I had managed to light a fire in the fireplace of my apartment. A task I had found myself immersed in the minute I had arrived home. Finding as many blankets as I could, I bundled myself up and sat near the fireplace. 

I picked up the book sitting on my coffee table... Women by Charles Bukowski. I remember the day I had purchased this with Harry. He was so annoyed that I decided to read it first before him, even though I had originally suggested he'd buy it first. I loved the way his eyes would crinkle near the edges when he was holding himself from saying some snarky comment. There was something amusing about watching him get annoyed over the little things. It only became more incentive to bug him more. 

I open the book when a small note falls out... it was from Harry. I could recognize his writing anywhere...

Isabella, 

You're in Berlin and I'm here in our lonely flat. I'm writing this because I want you to know that everything you do in this world is going to be fucking amazing. You're so fucking beautiful... and smart... you have this thing about you that the world is lucky to see. I'm so damn proud of you baby.  

No matter what has happened, I will always love you. 

H x 

It had been dated a few days before we left for New York. I had left it in our apartment before we flew out, deciding on another book instead. He must have slipped this inside, knowing full well that I would be bringing this particular novel with me to Berlin. Even though he hasn't sent me any texts, a note or even a call... this was a sign that everything between us was going to be okay. It was clarification that we were still together. We had to be. If we weren't, he would have taken this note out of the book knowing full well that I would see this eventually. 

Was I delusional to think otherwise? Was it crazy to think that this was a sign that our relationship wasn't ending... or that it had ended? 

I pick up my phone and open up a new message.  

I saw your letter that you wrote before we went to NY. I am so sorry about everything that has happened. I love you Harry... I love you so much and I miss you even more. God, do I miss you. I know that you're hurting right now, and you have every right to be... but please, when I get home after all of this lets talk. Please... Maybe silence is what we need right now... Time. I don't know... but what I do know is that I love you. I will forever love you. 

I wait hoping that maybe he'll send me a text back... something to show me that he was at least okay. I hated the silence... I hated it so much, but I loved him. Nothing was going to change that. 

-

A hand moves my shoulder roughly. I jolt awake, pulling my headphones out. The guy beside me retracts his hand from my shoulder, looking at me apologetically. He motions upwards to the same stewardess from before. 

"Sorry ma'am, but we will be landing soon. I need you to close and lock your tray and straighten your chair," she kindly explains. 

"Right... okay." My movements are languid. My body extremely exhausted from my uncomfortable rest. I reach for the book that sits on the tray in front of me. Women... 

I feel my body still as memories of my dream resurface. I had seemingly forgotten that night back in February. The night that I had found the small note from Harry tucked away in to the pages of my worn out book. 

I had been so sure that we were still together. I had been naive to think that it was a sign... that he kept it there because we were okay. Not once did I think that it was crazy to believe that we were still together. I had been so consistent with messaging him and leaving him voicemails... but he never responded. Not once did he tell me that he was okay. Not once did he say, 'Sorry Isabella, but this is over.' He had left me to believe that he was still with me. 

I hated him. I hated that he led me to believe that he would wait for me. I hated everything about that night... the last night in New York. 

My father was awful. The way he treated Harry... the way he talked to him like he was lower than him. I should have said something. Why did I not say something? And Ty... that bastard. The way he betrayed my trust like that. I love you Isabella, I've always been in love with you... bullshit. That was complete and utter bullshit. If you love someone you wouldn't ruin their happiness like that. I don't care what you say, you don't do that.  

I can feel my hands trembling in my lap. My body heating up with rising fury. I was a mess... I look out the window to see the flashing lights of the city below. The city that ruined everything. I didn't know what will happen once I touch land... but one thing was certain, I needed to talk to my father.