MATURE (18+)
My back touched the painting with force and I felt my breath catch in my chest. His hands gripped my waist tightly and his blue eyes looked at me intently.
"Let's stop this game," he said in a hoarse voice near my ear.
"What game, Mr...
The time was 11:00 and most of the professors and assistants had already left, so it was time for me to leave too, feeling the tiredness of the day and the emotional charge, to burden my body. I just wanted to lie on my soft bed, to hide from this icy world. The waiters, tired from work, extinguished the candles on the tables and picked up the dirty dishes. The professors took their coats, still chatting and a little drunk on good wine and conversation. I took my coat and put it on coming out of the glass door, Beth followed behind me laughing with the other girls, but I had no appetite for laughter, not after what I heard. I do not understand why I feel that everything she said was about me, the way she looked at me when she talked to me about it made me feel guilty and sad for myself, it was as if she said it on purpose. The thing is, nothing was happening between me and Victor, so how can others see something that does not exist. Why might we like melodrama and create rumours? I do not know, is confused and bad. I am accused of something I have not done BUT and if something like this really happened, what does it concern them? and here we come to the conclusion that many like to see people they do not even know, people who have never been bothered, but these awful people get pleasure from seeing others in pain, suffering from their lies. It is so sad that those exist in this world that the purpose of there life is to enjoy the dissatisfaction of their fellow human beings as if there are no other creative pursuits that fill you beyond sorrow. Yes, I feel sorry for Beth and anyone else who supports the humiliation of a human being, because, in reality, they are the ones who are in pain and unhappy and want to pass those feelings on to others.
I took out my cell phone and called a taxi since I had missed the last bus to go home, the others went behind the restaurant which was the parking lot. I stood there with my heavy coat in the cold waiting for the taxi. My breath comes out like white smoke from my lips, something I always enjoyed seeing since I was a small child. I heard the restaurant door open from behind and Victor came out wearing his black coat and a cigarette between his lips, his gaze fell on me, somewhat surprised.
"Why are you still here?" He asked, pulling a silver square lighter from his coat pocket.
"I'm waiting for a taxi"
"I thought you were staying nearby"
"yes, but it is not safe to go home at such a time walking."
"Then I will take you home, do not wait in the cold"
"No need, I've already called the taxi," I said, quickly rejecting his offer and smiling sideways.
"You will get sick if you stay out longer in the cold"
"I'm fine," I said, but my legs were already frozen. He sucked a little from his cigarette and let the smoke come out of his lips.
"You are stubborn," he said and I shrugged.
'' maybe''
"But I can not leave you, here May ... if you get sick then you will miss my lessons and that is not good" he said and I bit my lower lip smiling.
"I will take notes," I replied confidently. He approached me taking two steps towards me and the smell from his cologne filled my senses and my body immediately warmed up, as if you pressed a switch. The influence this man has on me is undeniable.
"Again I will not be happy ... you will not be present, to sit as always in the front row" he said and I did not know what to answer to that. Maybe ... no May, not start thinking too much about it!
"Do me a favour and let me take you home," he said, and I made the mistake of looking him in the eyes, and I immediately sank into this sea.
"Okay," I replied, fluttering my eyelids to recover. I act like a stupid girl and I do not like the behaviour I have around him at all. He extinguished his cigarette on the sidewalk with his black boot and let the last smoke come out of his lips. I followed him behind the restaurant and his expensive black car was in the front parking seats. He opened the passenger door for me to enter and as I entered I looked straight ahead and my gaze crossed with many pairs of eyes. Beth's mouth almost fell to the floor as she stared at me with two other girls sitting on the hood of a car, surrounded by waiters drinking wine from a bottle. Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Victor followed my gaze and clenched his jaw, I made a motion not to get in the car but he grabbed gently my right shoulder to stop me.
"get in" he said calmly and I did what he told me, he closed my door but I felt so scared and I was trying not to look straight. He got into the driver's seat and started the car, pressed the accelerator and carefully left the parking lot. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, but my hands were shaking and I felt my chest hurt but I was trying to look calm and stop thinking about thousands of scenarios for what would happen tomorrow. My God, I will confirm the rumours and no one is going to talk to me again, I will be the whore even, if The university management finds out and if I'll get expelled and-
"Calm down," I heard him say and looked at him.
"I'm calm," I replied a little nervously and he nodded with his eyes on the street.
"I understand that it seemed a bit off-"
" a bit off? you have no idea '' I lashed out. There are so many things that have happened lately that my nerves are on the edge.
"Why are you angry?" He asked confused and I closed my eyes for a moment.
"I'm tired," I said softly and pulled my hair back. Fortunately, the apartment building where I live began to appear and I told him to stop.
"Thank you for bringing me back home" I said politely and got out of the car.
''wait'' he said and got out of the car, followed me up the stairs and I kept walking fast wearing heels.
"Hey" He turned me towards him from my waist and I was surprised.
"Tell me what's going on" he demanded and I noticed that he was still holding me by my waist and with my hands, I removed his hands from my waist.
"Do you want to know what's going on?" fine, we just gave rise to a damaging reputation for both of us! '' I said emphatically.
"Do you let such things affect you? so what? Let them talking" he said calmly and I looked at him in disbelief.
"No, I do not want, I do not want such lies to be spread."
"Or the truth?" He asked in a loud tone and I opened and closed my lips to say something, he looked at me with eyes full of emotion and everything was more intense now. I was drowning now. You know it's true May and it hurts a lot but if you only admit it then it will be the reality but I can not accept it, I can not let it touch me, as much as I want at this moment to hold me tightly in his arms, as much as I wonder what his lips would be like on my own, as much as I seek his touch and hear his voice in the morning whispering sweet nothings to me. Such relationships are doomed, cursed from the beginning.
I did not answer anything, because I felt so much inside me that I was drowned and I did all that came to my mind at that moment... .to turn my back to him and walk away from him, walking quickly to the door of the apartment building. He did not call for me, he did not follow me, he did not do as we see in the movies and read in the romance novels. I heard him get in his car closing the door with force and leave by pressing the accelerator hard. And then tears appeared in my eyes but I looked up, not letting them roll, there is nothing to spend tears for. Nothing is true, nothing is real.
I stay up all night Tell myself I'm alright Baby, you're just harder to see than most- Sasha Sloan
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