Last night, I cried again.
After twenty months
Of the same time.
My difficulty in sleeping
Leads me last night
To force myself to tears.
I looked at the sky.
It's my favorite thing to do;
Own way of easing pain.
And when I say easing
Means remembering
Rechecking if there are remnants.
Imagined as if I have a companion
Listening to me for resolution
And found myself at the deeper stage.
Regret is the purest ghost
That haunts me if not every night, sometimes.
I lost something, I lost someone: a friend.
Thinking of the unfairness
You treated me when I needed you
But when reciprocated, you made me feel like it's wrong.
I couldn't reach you at those times,
You planted anxiety in me,
You planted trauma in me,
And you made it strong.
I couldn't reach you when I was trying to
During the hurricane.
I loved you,
At least for that I am sure of.
I loved you but I became a hero
Of my own when you couldn't.
I knew, you never did
Even at once.
