Play No More (Player Next Door sequel) ✓

57 | Dinner from hell

There were many people who doubted his commitment, but moments like these gave me confidence in our future together. Real devotion is not just the willingness to work on our relationship, but the willingness to work on ourselves as individuals.

I pretended like what he just said didn't mean much. It meant everything.

"You may want to answer your phone," I mumbled into his shirt, changing the subject, "It's been buzzing during our whole conversation."

He kept one arm wrapped around me as his other hand slid into his pocket and checked who'd been texting him.

We both looked at his phone and read the Austin texts:

Austin 9.15pm: Just apologize

Austin 9.22pm: Seriously. You're in the wrong and I don't even need to know what it is

Austin 9.31pm: Have you still not apologized?

Austin 9.36pm: It's been twenty minutes. APOLOGIZE so we can EAT

Austin 9.39pm: I know I said I liked oysters but not this much

Austin 9.40pm: Actually I hate them

Austin 9.40pm: That's it. I'm coming down

"When was that last text?" I asked and he checked the time stamp.

30 seconds ago.

And just like that, we heard Austin's loud voice, "Love birds! I hate to intrude but we have hungry people upstairs!"

**

Dinner was being served in five courses tonight. In some cultures, the number five is a symbol of balance. Earth, water, air, fire and aether. 

Speaking of the number five, I don't know why there were golden plastic hands as décor on the table. Their fingers clasped onto some shiny gold objects. The dinner table was covered in flowers, primarily reds, oranges and purples. We sat on red chairs and the room was lined with thin, human-sized candles. (picture on my Instagram, Nov-21)

Why Chad has a room like this in his house, I will never know. Sir Chadwick Senior was sitting at the head of the table with his friend beside him. The friend had a liking for rings and wore three on his right hand.

The first course had been served and it was tiny. My starving stomach protested. I hate to sound ungrateful, but you'd think they could give us more than a tiny spoon of some frothy jello.

Cearra kept staring between Luke and me, trying to get some response out of me. I didn't know how to respond since I'm an awkward communicator, but I gave her a thumbs up.

I was pretty quiet after the emotional rollercoaster I had gone through today. Our heavy conversation had come after a long, emotionally draining and physically exhausting day which had started with me hungover. 

I felt close to tears. I couldn't help myself.

The second course was an option between soup or salad. I chose both, naturally. Austin concurred.

"How was scuba diving?" Cearra asked the boys.

I didn't hear their response. I excused myself from the dining room to find the bathroom.

**

The tears flowed out of me the moment I closed the bathroom door. I gripped the edges of the sink and stared at my crying self in the mirror.

I know I'm insecure. I try to channel it through humor or productive avenues like math. But now it's affecting my relationship.

I'm trying to fit inside Luke's world. I won't change who I am for it, but I am trying.