Unwanted by Matthew

Getting sorted out

"Let's go!" Nash yelled.
Opening the bedroom door, I followed Matt into the living room.
"Is everyone ready?" Taylor asked.
"Yes. I believe so." Jack G said.
"Three different cars again?" Nash asked.
I was praying I would get to be alone with Matt, these feelings were crumbling right onto me again.
"yeah, lets do that." Mahogany said.
"Okay then, who is going with who?" Nash asked.
"I am taking my car, and I want to be alone with Ariel." Matthew said.
"Okay, so that leaves two cars and eight of us left." Nash said.
"Okay, Here. Carter take the two Jacks and Taylor. Then I will take Cameron, Hayes and Mahogany." Nash implied.
Carter struggled his shoulders.
"Works for me." Taylor said.
"Okay then, lets go." Hayes said.
Just hearing those words of "lets go" made my soul cringe.
All heading out the door, I felt the enormous amount of guilt placed on my heart. Hayes was there for me, he saw my pain. I am a disappointment.
"You okay?" Matt asked as he nudge on my arm.
Shaking myself back into reality, I attempted to assure matt that everything was okay.
"Yeah. I am fine." I whispered.
"Okay, lets go." Matt said grabbing onto my hand and reaching for the keys.
"Woah, what is this I see? Matthew and Ariel holding hands?" Taylor said with enthusiasm.
"Yeah, lets not rub it in. okay? damn." Hayes said as he stormed out the front door.
I leaned over to Matt,
"I don't know if I can do this." I whispered.
Matt rubbed my back, giving me assuring gestures.
"I know you are strong. you were meant for this." Matt whispered.
It was as if in that moment of embracing those simple words, A symphony of peaceful music played and Instantly a huge relief fled through out my body.
"I am meant for this." I thought.
That was my first time ever, having those thoughts come even near my walking state of mind.
"Because of Matthew." was the only possible thing I could think of.