We Were There: Emmeline's Story

Realizations

My cries caught in my throat when I heard someone behind me speak, "Nurse Banks?"

I quickly stood, straightening my posture, and fixing my clothes as I brushed my tears away from my cheeks. I turned to see a dark silhouette standing a few feet away. "Yes?" my voice quivered. I couldn't make out who it was through the thin film of tears.

The figure took a couple of cautious steps toward me. "Are you all right?"

The voice sounded familiar but it was difficult to place. I wiped the last remnants of tears from my face, just as the person came into the light. My breath hitched. It took me a moment to regain my composure. "Yes, I am. Thank you, Lieutenant Speirs."

Speirs walked up to me, standing so close I could smell his musky scent and feel the warmth of his body envelope mine -  creating goosebumps across my cold flesh. He peered into my eyes, studying the depths of them. "Why are you crying?"

I swallowed, unsure of how to respond - and even if I did, he was the last person I wanted to admit my woes to. I replied, "It's nothing, sir."

He questioned, "Did someone behave inappropriately this evening?" His eyes never left mine.

I stepped back from him, allowing the cold air to engulf me once more as I replied, "I'm fine. Really. It's nothing." My voice betrayed me by cracking. Inwardly, I kicked myself, believing I would have been able to convince him everything was fine had it not been for the break in my voice.

He stepped toward me once more as I stepped back again. His brow raised at my movements. His voice dropped low as he said, "Nurse Banks, I don't tolerate lying. It would be best for you to step forward and tell me the truth."

It was at this moment I understood why everyone was intimidated by him. Even I was a little afraid of him too. I licked my dry lips before blurting out, "I just found out I'm a third wheel." I decided to use Webster's words, hoping he would understand and leave me alone to continue crying.

His dark eyes lingered on my face, occasionally dropping to my lips. "Third wheel, Nurse Banks?" His tone showcased his confusion on the choice of words - whether it was because he didn't know what it meant or because I used it to describe me, I didn't know.

I bit my lip. "Yes, sir."

His gaze locked onto my lip as I bit it. His brows drew together as his voice grew an edge to it. "Explain."

Unable to stop myself from doing so, the truth came tumbling out from my lips. "I'm not like the other nurses. I didn't think I was so different but the men pointed it out to me tonight." I sighed heavily, shifting in place nervously, feeling stupid. "I wasn't even supposed to be at that party..." I stopped and chewed on my lip some more, willing the tears to stay away. My anxiety and nerves were showing plain as day to him and I hated it.

He blinked at my words before asking, "Why did you go?"

I stared wide-eyed at him. "I was invited..."

"You just said you weren't supposed to be there," he pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest, staring at me like I was holding some secret from him.

I sighed, feeling trapped by my own words. I tried to explain more clearly, "Even if I wasn't invited, I would have been dragged there by Darla - "

"Yes, Nurse Sanderson," he recalled, drawing out the word. "She does have a knack for getting her way." For the first time since he approached me, his eyes averted, giving me a moment of reprieve from the intensity his eyes held. I felt like I could breathe again now that he wasn't trying to bore into my soul. I looked down at my feet, feeling awkward.

Breaking the growing silence between us, he suggested, "We better get you back inside before you catch your death." I blinked a few times, unsure of what to say. I bit my lip, deciding it was best not to say anything at all.

He escorted me to the nurses' barracks instead of the party, which I could hear was still going on. We didn't speak the entire walk back but it wasn't uncomfortable. Just as I opened the creaky door to my barracks, he took a step away but stopped to turn around to face me once more. With his hands clasped behind his back, he began, "You know..." I turned to face him while he continued, "You are different than the others."

I averted my eyes to the ground between us as I whispered, "I know." My voice betrayed my sadness. I blinked the threatening tears away. 

"You're a mystery to me, Nurse Banks," he stated.

My eyes darted up to stare at him, thinking I misheard him. "Sir?"

He scanned the length of me, nodded once as he turned to go. He said over his shoulder as he started to meander away, "Good night, Nurse Banks."

I stood there confused as I watched him leave, my mouth agape. I didn't understand what he meant by that. How could I be a mystery to anyone, least of all him? I bit my lip as I mulled it over. 

That night would be a long night as I tried to figure out what he meant.