Again. Again. Again. 《 l.s》

♡ FIFTY - SIX ♡

"I can't lose you. Because if I ever did, I'd have lost my bestfriend, my soulmate, my smile, my laugh, my everything." - Unkown.

"There are people that are so important in our life. That if we lose them, we will be losing a peice of ourselves." - Me

••••••

The night we met - Lord Huron

••••••

[ Harry's POV ]

I spend the entire weekend in my room. 

I don’t really eat, other than a few snacks here and there. I’m just never really hungry. At some point, I take a shower. Just standing and letting the water run over me.

I paint my nails, even though I'm gonna chip it off before school on Monday. 

I could just convince myself that he didn’t mean it and pretend like nothing happened. But I know that’s not true.

"I never say things I don't mean." I mean, technically he texted it to me. But none the less he said it.

•••

Monday

 I sit in absolute silence for at least 10 minutes, just staring at the ceiling. Until I groan and drag myself out of bed. I turn on a light and cover my eyes as the glow floods through the room. I hate mornings, especially if they are cold and lonely. My mom is working so I have to walk to school. I fumble through my drawers and find a hoodie and sweatpants. I throw them on and go downstairs. 

The 3rd and 7th stairs have little footprints. Because nobody has stepped on or touched them for so long they gathered a layer of dust. When Louis went stomping over them, he left four little footmarks. And I don’t know how to fix them. 

I make myself a bland piece of toast and a cup of chocolate milk. I take a long blink and rub my temples. My just always hurts nowadays, like a constant over looming ache. Somedays it gets worse

It never gets better though. 

I feed kiwi, who is quite mad at me because I ignored her all weekend. And then I gather my things and head out the door. I have to leave at least 10 minutes early every day. So I can hopefully get to school on time. I wrap my arms around myself while the harsh wind cuts my skin. I turn around, lock the door, and start walking down the street. 

Did you turn the toaster off?

Yes

Are you sure?

Yes

Go check.

I sigh and turn around, quickly walking back to my house. I unlock the door and go look at the toaster.

It’s unplugged, just like I knew it would be. 

I leave the house and walk back up the street. Luckily the cold air freezes the thoughts up and I make it so school with 5 minutes to spare. 

•••

[ Louis's POV ]

I told Kat that I couldn’t pick her up, she said it was fine and that she would just get a ride with Andy. 

Of course, she will

I pull into the parking lot and take a deep breath. Glancing at the school and then back at the steering wheel. I could just turn around, say I’m sick, or get here late so I don’t have to see him. 

I end up ripping the keys out of the ignition and walking into the building. Mixed in with the sea of kids, so Harry is pretty impossible to spot. If he is even in the crowd. 

•••

I sit at my desk, mindlessly drawing circles. Harry’s desk remains empty. Until, just a few minutes before the bell, the door opens and a tall figure comes shuffling in. 

Harry.

He walks into class. Making sure to not look anyone in the eyes, especially me. 

But Harry is the only thing I can look at. Which is normally the case, but it’s for a different reason this time. 

Harry is wearing a pair of sweatpants and a black hoodie with the hood up. 

My sweatpants. 

I was hoping we were gonna have that moment where Harry looks up and we make eye contact. Then we go running towards each other. Completely forgetting everything as we crumble into a hug. 

But harry just pulls out his chair three times and slumps down. He keeps his hood up and his head down the whole class. Not saying a word to anyone. The only sound is Harry’s tapping foot. Going in rounds of three’s. 

When the bell rings he springs up, pushes in his chair three times, and leaves. Keeping his head down and his hands tightly squeezed around his backpack straps. 

“Harry wait.” I call at a whisper level. 

Just so I can say I tried to get him back when people ask. 

Because obviously, this is gonna be harder when he won’t even look at me. 

•••

[ Harry's POV ]

“Hey, where were you yesterday?” Niall asks after school. 

“I was uh- at an appointment.” I lie, he narrows his eyes. But ends up nodding and jerking his head towards the passenger seat. 

As we are driving I reach for the radio but he interrupts my movement by clearing his throat and speaking. 

“You guys are fighting again aren't you?”

“Mhmm.” I whimper, swallowing thickly and looking out the window. 

Don’t cry
Attention seeker
Stop crying 
This is all your fault
You can’t cry about things that are your fault.

Niall just nods and tightens his grip on the steering wheel. 

Louis took me, a deserted piece of land. Where the grass was dead and the air was thick and stale. And he helped me grow. He gave me everything I needed. He turned me into a beautiful forest. 

Then, he set fire to the forest.

And he let it burn. 

••••••

Louis desperately wants to fix this. And Harry thinks Louis doesn’t want anything to do with him. Sad times :( 

Love you

- T xxxx