Again. Again. Again. 《 l.s》

♡ TWENTY - ONE ♡

Song
Feel something - Bee Miller

[ Louis's POV ]

MONDAY

"Please give me more time." I practically beg him, if I would have gotten down on my knees and bowed down if it meant he would approve. I can't end it this fast, after all the progress Harry and I have made. It would absolutely crush him. And I can't do that, I could never forgive myself. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to forgive myself for doing this in the first place. But I can't go through what I did before again. I'm gonna run out of schools to move to. So I'm willing to do anything I have to. Even if I destroy everyone I love in the process

"Fine. You have til' November 3rd or the deal is off." He says with a huff.

•••

The conversation is the only thing playing through my head while Harry and I are sitting at lunch. It's the only thing I can think of as I watch him read his book. As he crunches up his eyebrow and reaches for his sandwich. His exactly 15 cm sandwich. With 3 slices of turkey all laying on the left side of the bun. With exactly 3 tomatoes and 2 slices of lettuce laying on top, in that order. With a line of mayonnaise on the other side of the bun.

That conversation is the only thing I can think of as I watch him brush his curls out of his face. He looks up at me. "What are you looking at? Do I have something on my face?" He asks. scrubbing his face with his hands. I just silently shake my head no and go back to picking at my lunch. "You're weird Louis." I give him a weak smile.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just-" I pause. "Thinking."

"Well, what are you thinking about?"

"If I've made a huge mistake." His face falls for a second and a look of confusion comes over it.

"About what?"

Oh, I don't know the fact that I could lose everything and everyone that I love for the sole purpose that I'm too much of a stuck up prick to put others before myself. Because last time I did that I got too hurt. And if I did that again I'd just be reopening the stitches.

Those stitches that it took me so long to make after getting cut so bad. And to throw those all away. Is terrifying, knowing that you are just opening yourself up. Knowing you could bleed out and die. But not caring. There isn't a bone in my body that could ever understand how to do that.

You lose secrets when you let people inside.

"Don't worry about it." I manage to squeak out. Making Harry nod slowly and look back at his book. I wonder if Harry will still wanna have lunch together when he finds out. No, who am I kidding?

I wonder if Harry will even wanna be friends anymore when he finds out.

••••••

I love knowing things you guys don't. It is very fun. Also, this is criminally short but I felt bad for not updating for like 4 days.

Love you

-T xxxx