scripted reality (jay halstead / upstead / one chicago (cast))

chapter 28

"Hold on for a second." Paddy and I already made it half the way to the stairs before Lisseth called us back. Reluctantly, we both stopped in our tracks and turned around. "What?" Paddy questioned. We were expecting Lisseth to follow us, but she was still leaning against her desk, sceptically studying the picture Paddy had pinned to the investigation board earlier.

Although it was late morning by now, Marina, LaRoyce and Jason hadn't shown up yet. It had taken the rest of us a while to get an address for where our newest suspect might be hiding, considering that until a few hours ago, nobody even knew for sure he was currently in the US. Going through surveillance footage from near Bashara's house, however, we had been able to identify the car he was driving. Whether we would actually encounter him with the person the vehicle was registered to or not, that person had to know something. The car wasn't reported as stolen, and therefore, her place was where we were going to start our search, even when thinking he might be hiding there seemed way too easy.

Lisseth sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Isn't this the part where the feds come in?" she asked. I furrowed my brow. "And why's that?" I slowly took a step back towards the stairs, ready to turn and continue my way. The same moment, Tracy spun around in her chair, giving me a quizzing look that basically screamed stop acting dumb.

If it wasn't all so fucked up, it might have actually been funny. I mean, Jay Halstead was bad at pretending he was fine, bad at hiding whatever stupid shit he was doing, and bad at acting dumb as well. Hailey always saw right through it, and so did Voight, most of the time anyway. I was an actor though, so you could have expected me to do better at playing pretend than Jay would on average. But actually, it didn't matter. Whether I really was bad at it, or whether it was due to secret Hailey Upton instincts, Tracy knew exactly what I was doing.

"On the show, this would be the moment where the feds come in and announce it's their case from here," she agreed with Lisseth. Sensing that this would take longer than just a minute, I took a few steps back into the bullpen, and Paddy followed suit. I knew Tracy was right, terrorism generally was a feds thing. "It's also the moment where Voight would tell them it's his city, and that he won't give the case away," I argued. It wasn't like I necessarily supported the decisions Voight took, but it was my best shot at keeping the case right now. "The feds have no idea we're after him, or that we're hiding information from them. We can just go on with what we're doing and deal with the paperwork and legal stuff later."

"A few months ago, the day we woke up as Intelligence, you would have been the first to hand over literally any case to literally anyone, just so you wouldn't have to do it, because we aren't real police." Lisseth turned her sceptical gaze away from the investigation board and towards me. "What changed?"

I swallowed hard. She was right. In the beginning, I never wanted the cases, and especially not the hard or dangerous ones. But now I knew that in some weird way, we were able to do it. This case was important. And it was personal to me – well, personal to Jay, for whatever difference that still made. I glanced over at Tracy, unsure of what to say. She just shrugged, silently telling me that this was my argument, not hers. She didn't need an explanation, probably. She had been around me – or Jay – enough to know what was going on in my head better than I did. But it wasn't her place to tell someone else.

Sighing, I leaned against the desk opposite Lisseth. "We're Intelligence. And I don't see any way things are gonna go back to normal soon. So we should act accordingly." It was hard to speak it out aloud. After all, it was true: A few months ago, I had been the last person who wanted to hear things might not go back to normal. I had been the first to jump at Paddy when he called me Jay, and the first to freak out anytime we were discussing what was going on.

But things had changed, for the most part without anyone consciously noticing. Being Jay sucked in many ways, but at the same time it was weird to imagine not being him at this point. His memories were right there in my head, as were his thoughts and feelings. Things were different now. Jay would have a baby girl in just a few months – Jay and Hailey would, we would. "That's what changed," I added, unsure whether I meant what I said before, or what I just thought about.

Lisseth nodded. "Alright." She took a short break, and when nobody else spoke up, she continued, looking me straight in the eye. "So you, Detective Jay Halstead, are saying we're going to get this guy now, and deal with the consequences after?"

To my surprise, her words didn't stress me out. I didn't feel stupid, and I didn't feel like this needed overthinking. I was sure about it. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying."

"Great." Lisseth shrugged and picked up her jacket before smiling at me. "Let's go, then." I glanced over at Paddy and he nodded to confirm he would follow my lead. What the hell was this hierarchy? I mean, it didn't appear weird to me that we did what Jason told us most of the time – unless I was up to argue with him, that was. After all, that's what we usually did on the show. But now that Jason wasn't around, why was everyone following me?

I tried to shake the thought from my head. I was ready to turn and make my way to the stairs again when Tracy held me back. "Here," she grabbed my hand and placed a key in it, "take this." I looked at her in confusion, and she sighed. "I live like right between the district and where you're going," she said, as if what she was telling me was obvious. "You got like zero sleep. The least you're gonna do is stop on the way back and take a shower."

"Aww," I heard Paddy comment behind me. I spun around quickly, and wished I hadn't when I realized that both him and Lisseth were watching in fascination. I was about to say something – not really knowing what, however – when Paddy continued speaking. "Who's gonna give me a key to their apartment?" he complained sarcastically. "I haven't slept either." Lisseth laughed. "You mean you want someone to care about you the way Upstead care for each other?" She hit his arm playfully and winked. "Not gonna happen."

I cleared my throat, just to make sure they were aware we could very well hear them. They didn't seem to care. "Alright, let's go," I then said, the next best thing that came to my mind. The two of them nodded and made their way towards the stairs while I turned back to Tracy.

"Text everyone the address?" I asked, since she was obviously staying at the bullpen. She nodded. "Consider it done." A wave of worry washed over her face. "Stay safe, okay?" I nodded. "Consider it done."

She shook her head in fake annoyance, but she couldn't keep herself from smiling. Slowly starting to walk backwards towards the stairs, I held up her key and mouthed a quick "thanks" before turning around and leaving. 

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alright, i wish we would have gotten further in this chapter already, but this must do for now since it's been a very busy week and two consecutive nights of more or less zero sleep have pretty much fucked up my whole schedule... but hey, it's completely worth it for one chicago, and from next week, that's my only sleepless night, so let's hope i can deal with one ;)) anyway, let me know what you think in the comments! thank you so, so much for reading, and leave a vote if you like! ❤️

p.s. some of you already know it - i'm doing this new thing here on wattpad, and i'd be really happy (like, really really really happy) if you check it out. i've called it 'from a writer's perspective' and it's basically me analysing one chicago episodes (or other one chicago stuff , for that matter) from a writer's perspective, and i would be happy to discuss it with anyone who's up for it as well. i don't wanna go too much into it here, but just know that a first intro to the book is out now, where i explain what it's gonna be about - you can find that on my profile. a first 'chapter' on the newest PD episode will be out tomorrow. i'm still very insecure about it, but some lovely people have encouraged me to try, so i'll give it a shot. check it out if it sounds interesting to you! 🥺