scripted reality (jay halstead / upstead / one chicago (cast))

chapter 19

"I heard you were here with Tracy again." I raised an eyebrow at Nick. "You heard?" He sighed. "Torrey told me. She was pretty upset." I nodded. So upset we had to ask for another doctor right after Tracy's first appointment.

"You guys seem to take that whole baby thing pretty seriously," Nick noted. I wasn't really in the mood to discuss this again. "Listen," he continued. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did when you first told me." I eyed him curiously. "Why the sudden change of mind?"

He shrugged. "We probably all feel the same, let's not deny it. There's these emotions I have towards Torrey, the ones that Will has towards Nat, and it's fucking with my head. I guess I get why you think the baby is yours now, as stupid up as that sounds." I was glad he saw it that way. I took a deep breath. "I just wish I'd remember how the baby happened."

Nick chuckled. "Maybe you will at some point. Or just repeat it when the time's right." He winked at me and I was quick to shake my head, biting my lip while trying not to further think about what he just said. "Anyway," he laughed at my slight embarrassment, "I just wanted to say that as your fake brother, I'm proud, and I'm here if you need anything."

I was torn from my thoughts about the conversation I had with Nick at the hospital a few days ago when there were three loud knocks on the door. I quickly rose to my feet and made my way over to look through the peephole. My heart rate increased slightly, and I couldn't help but smile as I opened up for Tracy.

"Everything alright?" I questioned upon noticing her troubled face. My smile dropped. "Are you good? Is everything okay with the baby?" I moved to the side so she could enter the apartment and she did so, gently touching my arm in the process. "Everything's fine, Jesse." She turned around to me once I closed the door behind her. "There's just a lot on my mind."

I nodded in understanding, curious but too scared to ask what exactly she was talking about. I knew she would tell me when she felt like it. And it was already a good sign she showed up at my doorstep. A very good sign to be honest. It meant that when there was a lot going on, she came to me. I just hoped I wouldn't fuck it up.

On the way to the living room, I got a glass and water bottle for Tracy from the kitchen. "Did you eat already?" I asked. She turned around in the doorway, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Yeah, I didn't come here to make you cook for me." I shrugged. "You know I would."

As she sat down on the couch, I noticed she was wearing one of her usual shirts, instead of the rather baggy ones she had exchanged them for recently, and it made her early-stage baby bump show. It was the first time I could tell from just looking at her that she was pregnant, and it set free a whole bunch of mixed emotions inside me. One of them was anxiety, of course. The fear of what was coming, and that I might not be ready for it, had only grown over the weeks. But at the same time, her pregnant body was certainly the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It showed that there was a tiny human being growing inside her. A baby. My baby. That filled me with a bubbly feeling of excitement and pride.

"Don't look at me like that," Tracy said. I tore my eyes away from her belly and met her gaze. "What?" She chuckled. "With those puppy eyes. I already feel like a whale, and it only just started." I sat next to her. "Hey," I shook my head slightly, "you look as stunning as ever, if not more." She smiled. "Thanks. So how did therapy go?"

It had been a few weeks of me going to Jay's therapy sessions now, and they really helped. It was weird at first, trying to figure out what Jay talked to that woman about and how, but it got easier as time passed. I was glad Tracy made me go, and if the therapist was taken aback by any changes in Jay's attitude due to me not actually being Jay, she didn't let it show.