Even though we’d been to Vegas and Nevada numerous times with friends over the years, Jack had always wanted to see in the sunrise on new year’s morning at the Grand Canyon but we’d never gotten around to it and so for a surprise I’d arranged the trip for him. We were both successful in our respective chosen careers and lived a fairly comfortable life together.
We’d spent Christmas with our parents before heading out to Las Vegas on the twenty eighth of December, Jack always preferred to drive rather than fly mostly because he was always late for any flights, the snow was thick on the ground in Michigan as we left, but he’d been driving here for nearly twenty five years so he was confident we’d be okay and I trusted him to get us anywhere safely.
I don’t remember much about what happened after we’d left, I don’t know why my seat belt was undone for instance, I wasn’t aware we had been travelling for almost two hours already until my Mom told me when I woke up in the hospital. I don’t remember the drunk driver slamming into our car from behind, the impact so immense that I ended up in the rear of the car in front of us that he’d shunted us into.
Memories can be cruel though because I do remember with great clarity a fog in my mind lifting, my breaths were shallow and painful. My body was on fire, like every nerve ending in my body had been shredded but I couldn’t move and from my position having landed upside down in the back of the car in front of us and before blackness took me, I looked and saw Jack’s panicked face, he was just staring at me, mouthing words I couldn’t hear or make out. He didn’t look hurt thankfully but he looked like he was in shock and he hadn’t moved a muscle since I’d looked at him. I tried to shout at him to tell him I loved him but nothing came out, I was screaming it so loudly in my head that it hurt and then I remember my throat suddenly felt full, like I was choking and a metallic taste in my mouth caused me to vomit and I just remembered blood everywhere before I blacked out.
I woke a few days later to the awful news that Jack had broken his neck high up and they weren’t sure how bad it would be but I knew that high up he’d be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life at best and at its worst he’d be quadriplegic, which turned out to be the case in the end. My big fun loving husband was trapped in a body that no longer worked for him for the remainder of his life. I was determined to care for him and once he was able to leave the hospital it became my life, caring for Jack was all I cared about.
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I slipped back inside my home early the next morning, I only left Jack overnight once a year for my birthday and like so many other things it was at his insistence that I do that, I’m greeted by Rosie our German Shepard dog first, she nearly knocks me off my feet with her enthusiastic greeting.
“Hey baby girl, where’s Daddy?” she whines before trotting away from me heading towards the greatest love of her life Jack, and I follow, trying to make myself look cheerful, I really don’t want to explain to my husband about why I look upset and the man I was with last night.
“Happy Birthday Jazzy" my husband and his nurse shout out at me, Rosie barks loudly, startling me, it seems weird to see him up, dressed and sat in his chair but I’m so happy to see him in a good mood “Thank you both so much" I place a kiss on Greta’s cheek she is my lifeline, I can only afford her help once a week and she gives me a chance to just be me for a few hours and I’m forever appreciative of the fact and then I plant myself in my husbands lap, snuggling into his warm chest, he can’t feel me but I can feel him, his heart beating in his chest against my cheek and it feels so good, so reassuring, reaching up I stroke my fingers slowly through his hair and scalp, he can feel me touch him here a little but that’s about all, looking up I see the corners of his mouth lift up in a smile as Greta says her farewells and leaves us for the week once more.
“I love you husband" and I do I’m not lying to him or myself, “love you too wife, your gift is on the table, Greta helped me with it!” Grinning I get up and pick up the large flat gift, tearing off the brightly coloured paper, I could cry when I see what they’ve done, it’s a large photo frame with hundreds of photos of Jack and I from when we first met to the one single photo he’d let me take of us together since the accident. Hundreds of memories flood my mind and guilt builds in my chest making it feel tight with shame, how could I even think about another man when I still had my husband. I started crying because it was so moving and because I was an unfaithful whore.
10. Can't Help Falling In Love
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