Identifying Sara

Chapter Twelve

A strong scent of coffee wakes me. I somehow ended back home, in my bed and before I knew it I was out. The clock reads 7:30. It's Saturday which means I get to do nothing all day. How thrilling.

My stomach growls forcing my mind to try to remember the last time I consumed something. But who cares right? Why eat food when your the one being eaten by guilt? No words can explain the weakness I have finally come to. At this point, why does it matter if my dad finds me? This is a never ending game that I have somehow been trapped inside, but it's not where I belong.

Trudging down the stairs, I shake my head trying to clear my thoughts. I try to come to my senses by thinking of things like these thoughts of Carson, and any regrets need to stop. But it doesn't work, all I can feel is all sorts of bad, but where is this coming from? I usually shrug anything off without feeling the least bit of pity for anyone and suddenly I'm feeling guilty. Somethings changing, or is about to change, I can feel it, maybe these thoughts are the only thing that can save me from a traumatizing heartbreak. It could leave me scarred for life, or it could fly by like a bird soaring through the air. Either that, or I'm beginning to lose my mind.

"Sara, glad your awake." I hear, my head snaps up to meet my mother's eyes. I realize I'm standing in the middle of the kitchen frozen in my place. When did I get here and how long have I been standing here?

"Yeah." I mumble avoiding the gaze of my mother.

"Will you go get the mail really quick? I'm expecting a letter." My mother asks. I suddenly become suspicious, narrowing my eyes and fighting the urge to ask questions, which may have been too obvious because I think she noticed too.

"What kind of letter?" I spit out without trying to stop myself. So much for hiding the suspicion. My mother looks away and continues to prepare an egg in the skillet before her.

"A response to a job interview thats all. Go get the mail, will you?" A job interview? Yeah right, and I just happen to have found a unicorn.
The fact at how easily I can tell she is lying is incredible. She can be so awful at lying sometimes, it makes me irate. I shrug it off anyway heading out the door in my pajamas and a light sweater that I don't recall putting over the t-shirt that I sleep in. Snow flurries fall out the sky slowly setting a pretty scene in front of me as I walk down the driveway in a fast pace wanting to get back inside before I become a popsicle.

The mailbox is only half full when I reach it. I don't bother to look at any of the mail, I know there couldn't be anything for me anyways; not that there ever has been. I'm about to turn around and go back inside when a figure catches my eye, running right towards me. I squint trying to focus on the person but the figure is covered up pretty well. My heart stops, my palms sweat, and I think I drop the mail on the ground, but I wouldn't know because all the feeling has left my fingers. Who is this person, and why are they running at me?

I find myself unable to move, but as the figure gets closer and closer, something does come into focus, and it's the shorts that the person is wearing. Shorts? What is wrong with everyone these days. My worries fade to a minimum because this shows the person is plain stupid and will want nothing to do with me. Maybe if I'm lucky they will run right by me. Someone snaps in my face and I jump screeching from being startled. My eyes meet dark blue ones staring right at me, amusement written all over them.

"Carson?!" I screech out of surprise.

"Hey," he replies. He breathes heavily, sweat shinning on his forehead just underneath the hair that covers most of his forehead, almost reaching his eyes. I get a feeling I am being watched by my mother and try not to act abnormal. Will you stop Sara? Who cares if she sees! Remember she's the reason your in this freakin mess!