F̶o̶l̶l̶o̶w̶ Fuck the Rulebook - Kenma Kozume

C24 - Lost attitude

"hey," he reached up to cup her face, "tell him how you feel, be honest," the truth was a dangerous weapon, "speak to him, just like you spoke to me," but speaking to him was calm and easy, speaking to Kenma was confusing and heart racing, "Suki," he moved her eyes to meet his tender gaze, Tadasahi, "you'll be happier with him," happier.

This was the way it always was; she couldn't stop her selfishness from taking over. She shook her head, clenching her eyes and her lips quivering, distant memories taking over. The moment her eyes open, the person before her wasn't Tadashi. His hands lifted to her face, spreading a cool substance over her lips, before swiping away under her eyes,

"shush, don't cry," sobs, she hadn't known for months, left her lips, his eyes twinkling in response, "it's only for a couple of days, until I've sorted it out, okay? Just," his lips curled into a teasing smile, "wait for me, alright?"

"I don't want you to go, please," Akasuki sniffled trying to stop her tears, "days turn until weeks and, weeks until months," she took a staggered breath, "what, what if he does exactly the same," tears started to roll down her cheeks as she let out quiet sobs.

He was all she had known alongside the boys. The one who cuddled her whenever she felt down, the one who would hype her up when she needed it, he wasn't a partner, he was a true friend. Yamaguchi pulled her into his arms squeezing her tightly shushing her,

"hey hey, don't cry, I'm not leaving you Suki," he brushed his hair behind her ears, "we'll still hang out, have sleepovers, friend dates," he chuckled loosely wiping her tears away, lifting her face to his, "just be honest and whatever happens, I'm here for you."

"How, can I be, honest," Akasuki breathed out, "when I don't know, sleepovers.'

Her thoughts and emotions were jumbled together like a ball of elastic bands, the fear of attempt to separate them threatening those closest. Yamaguchi soothed her,

"say whatever comes to mind, it tends to be the most honest thing, okay?"

She nodded, salt slipping over her lips,

"I'm scared he's, gonna hate me, and I'll destroy the team," or worse, make it impossible to forget him.

"Now, who's the dumb one," Yamaguchi whispered, "he's gonna love you okay?"

Love? Her eyes widened at the thought, more tears slipping. Yamaguchi, shocked by the sudden display, started to ramble,

"I, I didn't mean love, I meant like, he'll like you! Not that he won't grow to love you! Because he will!"

His rambling faded from her senses. Why is everything so confusing? All she wanted was a simple, quiet life but instead, she joined a team of boys that have flipped her entire life upside down. She can't endure the heart ache of love, she's done it once, she couldn't do it again. Yamaguchi pulled away glancing back at Tsukishima before reaching out to tap Akasuki's cheeks,

"I, I don't know what to do, should I get the others? Do they know how,"

"No," Akasuki blurted, it's embarrassing, she always holds a strong mentality around them, she can't let that fall too, she gritted her teeth wiping her eyes aggressively, "I'm fine."

Yamaguchi sighed shaking his head,

"I'm gonna get Kuroo," he pulled out his phone beginning to type.

What? No, no, she tried to grab his phone,

"don't!"

Yamaguchi held her back hunching over himself as he typed, why did he do that, turning to her with a satisfied smile taking her hands, why did he always help her,