Only You {Shawn Mendes}

22.

I meet Cam by the door and he gave me this look that I couldn't really explain. "What is wrong with you?" He asked randomly. "There's nothing wrong with me. What's wrong with you?"

"I saw him give you his number. You have a boyfriend."

"Are we even leaving yet? 'cause if were not then I'm gonna go have a good time while I still can." I hear him sigh over the loud music and I went to find someone, anyone. I saw Azu and Matt making out on a couch, Shawn was talking to the same girl from earlier, and I saw Dillon and Taylor talking to some girls. "Today is not my day." I say to myself before turning around and bump into someone's chest almost falling backwards but he caught me. I look up to see Jeff. "Hey." He smiled and I smiled back. "I thought you were leaving." He says and I shrug. "Well I just got off work, so do you want to dance?" He asks and I nod. He drags me to the dance floor and we start dancing. Before I knew it we were both moving closer together. He leaned down and cupped my cheek, I didn't really know what to do. He's 21 and I'm 16 and I technically still have a boyfriend. His lips pressed against mine, I kissed back for a few seconds before pulling away. I fucked up so badly and I feel so guilty. "What's the matter?" Jeff asked confused. "I have a boyfriend and I knew I should have told you earlier but the topic never came up. I am so so so sorry." I rambled on and on until he stopped me. 

"It's okay, I understand." He said a little disappointed. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault." I say with tears building up in my eyes. Luckily it was dark so he couldn't see the tear that slipped out my eye. I quickly wiped the tear away. "I'm sorry but I really have to go now." I say rushing to get out of his view. I walk over to the entrance to see everyone but Shawn, Aaron, Jacob, Mahogany and Taylor. "Do you see the other's? we're ready to leave." Carter says and I look out in the group of people to see if I can find anyone else. I saw Shawn kissing the girl from earlier, this time it wasn't a mistake He leaned in first and smashed his lips on to hers. I looked over and saw Aaron, Jacob and Mahogany talking, Taylor was nearby talking to a girl with blond hair. I told the guys where Aaron, Jacob and Mahogany were. I looked back over at Shawn and he was still kissing whoever that girl was. They both pulled away after a few minutes. "What are you looking at?" Nash asked trying to find what I was looking at. "Nothing!" I snapped at him. Nash is like that nosy brother that wants the best for you but still gets on your nerves. "Sorry" He said holding his hands up in defeat. I looked back over and saw that they we exchanging phones. After a few seconds they traded phones again before walking in different directions. He walked over to us and he smirked at me. If only I can slap the smirk off his face.

Just then I got a text from Cody.

Cody: I thought Shawn would NEVER cheat on you and for you to kiss Jeff. What a new low. 

 What the fuck? How does he know shit like this?

Me: Stop using shit against me, and how do you know Jeff?

Cody: He's my older brother, you should've known that

FUCK! That's why he looked so familiar, this makes me seem like the bad guy. I was mad at Cody for him making out with someone I hated and I just made out with his brother.

Cody: It's funny cause he kissed another girl and you kissed another guy. What happened to not being a cheater?

Me: I don't have time for you to be manipulating me

Cody: I'm not, your a hypocrite. You shame me because I cheated on you a few times but you turn around and do the same to that Shawn guy.

 Me: What do you want?

Cody: You ; )

Me: Fuck off

The guys came back and we walked to the car. Cam was driving since he's the only one with a licence and who wasn't drinking at all tonight. The car ride was silent and it wasn't the good kind. Everyone knew there was tension between Shawn and I but they didn't know why, Cameron had a clue but he barely has any clues. All he knows is that I was talking to Jeff nothing else. Shawn and I kept glancing over at each other throughout the car ride. They weren't the type of glance that you do with your crush, this glance was more of a glance of hate although I probably could never hate him.

Cam turned on the radio to relieve some of the tension. But it was a complete fail when Life of the Party came on. Cam quickly turned it off and I plugged in my headphones and started to play tides by the Jacks.

We finally got back to the hotel, instead of going on the elevator with the guys I ran up to the hotel room. I unlocked the door and ran into Shawn and I's room. I kicked off my heels and ran into the bathroom. The guys would be here any moment. Everything raced through my head, everything that happened tonight and tears escaped my eyes falling like a water fall. Before I could even think about what I was doing I was rummaging through my makeup bag. 

I pulled out a blade and cut for everything that went wrong tonight. I watched as the blood rolled down my wrist and on to the floor. If Cam finds out about this I'm screwed, I've been clean for a few months but even during those few months I thought about cutting again and I don't know why. I would try to push those thoughts away but they would always find its way back into my mind. 

I quickly cleaned up the mess and rinsed the blood off my wrist. I took off all my makeup and walked out the bathroom to see a crying Shawn laying on his bed. He looked over at me and wiped away his tears. I quickly grabbed my magcon sweatshirt and put it on. I grabbed a pair of my sweatpants and a t-shirt then went to change in the bathroom. I put the sweatshirt back on and went to find someone who was still awake, it is three a.m. and half of the guys were knocked out, the others were cuddling with their girlfriends. I walk into the kitchen area and bump into someone, I let out a slight scream before turning the light on. "Why the hell are you making a sandwich in the dark?" I asked Dillon. "The light hurts my eyes" He says and I laugh. I grab a water from the fridge and sit at the table and Dillon takes a seat next to me. 

"What's wrong with you and Shawn?" He asked and tears built up in my eyes. I feel like it was me who ruined things between Shawn and I, I feel like it's all my fault. "Everything, I'm pretty sure we're both done with each other."

"What happened at the club?" Dillon asks and I look down at the ground. "We both cheated, He was flirting whether he realized or not then the girl kissed him, I walked away and went to the bar and Met Jeff who just happens to be Cody's older brother and-" I was cut off.

"The Cody guy I met when I was in New York? I thought that guy was a jerk to everyone." He says and I shrug. "But anyways Jeff kissed me and I kissed back for a few seconds before pulling away and I was so confused then When I was looking for the guys I saw Shawn making out with the same girl and they even exchanged numbers."

"I have nothing to say. You both fucked up." Dillon say and I sigh, Dillon always has something to say. "I feel like this is all my fault." I say letting a tear escape. I quickly wiped it away and looked at Dillon. "This isn't all your fault, don't blame yourself. At least try and talk to Shawn in the morning, I don't like seeing my baby sister sad." He said pulling me into a hug and kissing my cheek. "I don't think he wants anything to do with me, he hates me I can tell." I say crying into Dillon's shoulder. "No he doesn't, he probably doesn't know how he feels right now. But I can guarantee everything is going to work out between you two, whether your still dating or your just friends your going to work something out." He says rubbing my back to make me feel better.