Dangerously In a Heartbeat

Chapter 12: Forsaken

My body froze at the entrance of the dining room as my eyes settled on one particular person who was sitting beside Hailie. Fucking Nathan Santiago. I let Ashton's cat wander around, and he meows, going to where Ashton was. He must've taken a quick shower and looked as unbothered as usual.

Everyone became soundless as I joined. I was angry, No, I was furious, but I remained calm, walking to my seat next to Axel with a stoic face. I shot Ashton a pissed-off glare, he didn't even bother to tell me Nathan was going to be here.

I understand, I definitely wouldn't come down if I knew he was here, but Ashton should've told him. His unbotherness is going to fuck him up someday.

I felt Ace's hot gaze piercing me, and my heartbeat fastened just for a bit. I decided to mask my nervousness and gave him a glare. There was an awkward quietness in the room when Nathan decided to open his fucked up mouth, breaking the silence.

"Nice to see you, Helen." There was a sneer making its way to his face, but he promptly changed it to a 'polite' smile, he must know my brothers very well.

Oh, so he wanted to play this game.

Only two can play.

"There isn't anything nice about seeing your fucked up face, so can't say the same, Nate," I state, emotionless. Amusement sparked in my eyes when he awkwardly shifted at the nickname I gave him when we were best friends.

"Helen." There was a warning in Ace's demanding yet calm tone. I broke my eye contact with Nathan, shifting my gaze to Ace's pitch-black one. There was a softness in them, but it was gone within a second.

"What, brother?" Strangely, everyone except Nathan shifted uncomfortably when I called him brother. Something was suspicious, and I figured that was something I didn't know.

"Be nice to your sister's boyfriend, he is a part of our family now. Everyone should accept him, that includes you too. Don't ruin your sister's life just became he was once your boyfriend." He states, so robotically, there was no emotion on his face.

He must be kidding me. I looked around at everyone, in disgust and utterly angry at them. I was supposed to accept Nathan as my sister's boyfriend when he was my rapist? I was supposed to get along with all this bullshit and endure it all? I was trying to ruin my sister's life by trying to separate her from my fucking rapist?

The universe got to be shitting me at this point.

My heart squeezed in my chest, tightening. My breath became uneven, and I abruptly stand up from my seat.

Forsaken.

I was forsaken by my own family.

The silence in the room suffocated me, and all of my siblings gaze on me made me want to wail into hysteric sobs. I was so tired. I am so exhausted from being a puppet of everything. Ace robotic words repeat in my head, over and over again and I stubbornly pushed the sob back, blinking my watering eyes.

"How could you all?" I whispered. They betrayed me, and choose him. A smile formed on my trembling lips as I held the corner of the table with my fingertips. "I guess our family really is broken." A raspy chuckle escaped my lips, and I close my hand against my mouth, muffling my sound.

I was on the verge of breaking down.

But my rapist was here, and I promised myself to never be so weak after he ruined me.

"What do you mean?" Axel stands up, looking at me with hurt. Maybe my words might have broken his heart, shattering it into pieces. Axel tried so fucking hard to keep this damaged family together. He tried so hard to mend us, but it wasn't enough.

It wasn't enough to keep us together.

I turned to him and looked into his hazel eyes that had emotions so wretched and unreadable. He was completely still, and I swallowed my sob, pressing my lips together before inhaling.

I continued, "There's no family here, Axel. Don't try to mend this family anymore. This," I pointed at all of my siblings. "This isn't a family. Even if you all are a family, I'm not in it. I just cannot picture myself with you all anymore." My lower lip trembled a bit, and I paused, taking a shaky breath. I raised my hand, placing it near my heart and fisting my hoodie in my hands. I took a deep breath again, looking at my hands.

"You all were my everything. You were my life." I smile to myself. "But then I was abandoned, forsaken, and I was so devastated and ruined. There was nothing left for me, Axel." I looked into Axel's eyes, my eyes watering. My heart clenched in my chest and I desperately wanted to break down. I tightened the grip on my hoodie, mustering up the will to talk before I break into a hysteric sob.

It was so suffocating and hard to talk while my heart feels like it was going to rip.

"I'm not a Kotov. I was robbed of my own identity and name. You asked me who I was, I don't know who I am." I whispered. I never felt so miserable. To not be able to cry, to not be able to hug my siblings, and to not know myself. It was despairing.

"I don't forgive those who betray me." I strengthen my body, standing straight and looking each of my siblings in the eyes. "They will only get one thing from me, which is death." It was a promise and a warning. My voice held an upholding promise in it. Nathan looked bewildered by my last words because I wasn't like this back then. I was weak, frightened, and broken.

I didn't bother to glance at anyone besides Nathan. I stride towards the exit of the dining room, threatening Nathan with his life.

"Enjoy it while you're alive, Nathan. Who knows when death will come to take your garbage life away."

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