Dangerously In a Heartbeat

Chapter 09: A stranger to me

☼

ᴀ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ

ʜᴇʟᴇɴ's ᴘᴏᴠ
୧‿︵‿︵  ✾  ︵‿︵‿୨

𝐈 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃 at Ryan as he stared at me with a pissed scowl.

"Ryan, what are you doing here?" I ask, unbothered by his presence. He stands up, striding towards me.

"Listen here. Can you walk around with at least a little bit aware of how others feel? Don't walk around as if you own everything." He stopped in front of me, slightly pissed off.

"Which I do." I chuckle, cutting him off.

"I'll never accept you as my sister. You are just yearning for attention. Maybe Hailie was right. You shouldn't get everyone worried and come home without a resemble explanation. You infuriate me." He went on. I knew never to expect anything from anyone, but his words still left a little sting in my heart.

"That's fine by me but why do you hate me?" I ask him, blankly.

"Why do I hate you?" He laughs, throwing his head back. He then firmly gripped my arms, however, gently enough to not leave a mark. I bore him into his hazel ones. They held nothing, but darkness. I suppose he has also changed. I don't remember Ryan being so harsh and brutal with his words. He was a complete sweetheart, who would laugh with me and tickle me when I cry to make me laugh. I guess nothing ever lasts forever because we are humans and we are constantly evolving. Sometimes into a better version of ourselves or into remorseless monsters, pushing people away and hurting others.

"Because you broke my family. Mother picked you except everyone else. She loved you. After you left, everything was stained. Let's not forget about Hailie. I can't believe you couldn't look after her, then you sent her to us, abandoning her when she needed you the most." He went on. I clenched my fists at his false claim. I didn't take care of Hailie? He doesn't know anything to talk to me in this manner.

"Then, you were having fun with your best friend?" He threw a dirty look at me. My heart stopped for a bit when he said fun in such a tone, as he knows what happened. How does Ryan know Nathan? Do they know him? No, definitely not after what had happened.

"You are not one of the Kotovs. You'll never be one of us even if try." He spats, fierce anger in his eyes as he clenches his jaw.

"Are you done?" I asked him through clenched teeth.

"Mi dispiace." He muttered a sorry under his breath, glancing into my eyes as if he was guilty about all the things he spat at me, but I couldn't care less.

"Now listen here, Ryan. I don't want to be one of the Kotovs. I am my own person. You're angry and jealous that Sara picked me. I didn't break your family. I'm just glad she took me without picking any other of you." I respond to him, roughly poking his chest with my hand. Yes, I am glad that my mother took me.

I'm glad they didn't have to feel the pain that was inflicted upon me. I'm glad they didn't have to experience that horrifying pain, of being unable to do anything. Helplessness. I'm glad they lived their lives without getting abused and damaged by their own mother's hands. It breaks people. My mother, the one who gave birth to me, abused me, laughed at my pain, and made me an empty shell. I'm glad my siblings didn't have to experience that. I'm glad that they are safe.

"About Hailie, you know nothing. So keep your mouth shut." I glare at him. He raised a brow at me.

"Really now? I know more than you know about her. You hurt her. You had promised her that you would come to her, but you lied. She cried so much and asked for you multiple times. She even tried suicide because she thought she wasn't good enough. That day, if that person hadn't saved her, she would've been dead. Just like mother and Grandma. It's all your fucking fault, Helen." Yes, it's always my fault. It was my fault that I was being abused and beaten so fucking hard for days after Mother found out I had sent her home to her brothers.