Without The Force ~Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader~

17- The 'l' word

Obi-Wan was lying on his bed in the Jedi temple. After being treated by the medic on Tatooine, there was no delay in exporting him to the ship and flying back to Coruscant for his recovery. You stayed by him the entire time, never leaving the room, let alone the temple, just in case he needed anything. He slept a lot, not the whole time, but enough that it gave you time to think.

You  mostly thought about him; you were worried, and nervous and incredibly confused about what would happen to him. Obi-Wan did not seem the sort to surrender and accept defeat, they did not seem the sort to allow that happen. He was brave, and he would not take any loss that a person handed to him, so why had he done that? Why had he knelt before Grievous like a martyr, a sacrifice? What had he muttered seconds before you came in? Why had he almost kissed you?

That was what you thought about most of all.

It wasn't like you didn't like it, but more so that you didn't want it to stop. Days went by where that was all that crossed your mind. You would sit on the sofa all day, watching the man before you and picturing on his knees, centimetres away from touching you, his breathe raising goosebumps on you flesh, raising it as it almost keened to touch him. You would spend hours in the shower, lost in thought, not noticing or feeling the water running down your face, invading your eyes and burning when you left it on one spot for too long. Nothing else mattered except for Obi-Wan, your brain simply couldn't comprehend anything else.

Others came to visit him, mainly Anakin, who would enter silently without warning and leave just as suddenly. His first visit startled you, and although Obi-Wan was asleep, therefore unable to protect you, you still shifted closer to him to ensure your safety. Anakin nodded to acknowledge you and stood by the end of his bed.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you. I should have been there." His voice had a new-found determination, one you hadn't heard before. "If only I was there, you'd be ok."

"I was there. I saved him."

Anakin didn't reply, only grabbed the end of the bedsheets in tight fists and ground his teeth slightly. He was angry. "I'm strong enough to protect you Obi-Wan."

"You care about him a lot, don't you?" You stepped closer, gently pulling one of Anakin's hands away from the bed

"He's my old master, he's like a brother." He looked away, "You wouldn't understand."

"No, I wouldn't." You shrugged, "But I care about him too."

"Have you told him?" Anakin asked, letting go of the sheets and lowering his voice

"No, I- I haven't." It didn't feel right, talking about what happened. 

"Good, I know he cares about you as well, Y/N, even if he doesn't say it."

You looked to the sleeping man, peaceful and silent. His aura of strength and courage pulsed, almost as if it recognised that you were staring. You could almost see the force surrounding him, tough and impenetrable. That hadn't been there when he knelt down and almost let Grievous kill him- why? 

"Anyway," Anakin cleared his throat, "I need to go and see Padme, tell Obi-Wan I came by if he wakes up."

You nodded, "I will."

All his other visits went similarly. The two of you had not bonded over anything other than that one experience, so you had nothing to say to each other. Not that you minded, though. From what you could tell, Anakin was quite the hot-head, irritable, impulsive and unforgiving to those who wronged him. How he and Obi-Wan became such close friends was a mystery, they seemed polar opposites. No other Jedi was quite like Anakin, at least you were yet to meet one.

Kit stopped by as well, but not for Obi-Wan. Instead, he came by to check on you. You only ever ate late at night or early morning, when you were sure Obi-Wan would sleep through your absence, but Kit often brought snacks or a tray of drinks that he would set atop the small table for you.

"I heard you were the one to save Master Kenobi," He smiles, pouring two cups of sweet, floral-smelling tea, "It's quite impressive."

"Grievous got away, though, I didn't exactly save the day."

"You saved Obi-Wan's life, that is surely enough?" He handed you a cup, which you accepted gratefully. You hadn't slept, the warm, comforting liquid soothed your aching eyes.

"Maybe you're right, I just- he doesn't look 'saved'." You shrugged and sipped cautiously on your tea, not wanting to burn yourself. It was heavenly, rose in colour, almost see-through and it was exactly what you needed right now.

"He's healing, he needs time." Kit almost drank his tea, "I sense you feel a lot for Master Kenobi."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You have a lot of feelings, but I cannot tell what exactly, maybe you could enlighten me?"

You shook your head, "I don't know anymore than you, I care about him- I want him to be ok- that's it."

Kit simply drank more tea, not talking or smiling or nodding to indicate that he understood. You copied him and the conversation seemed over. 

"You know, there are several definitions for the word love, it doesn't have to be romantic." Kit smiled and swirled the liquid in his cup, "If I was to try and pinpoint your feelings, I'd say it was love."

You pretended not to hear him, instead focusing on the rising and falling of Obi-Wan's chest, feeling your own contract with nerves. Did you love him? Really? You easily could, you thought- Obi-Wan was not a difficult person to love in the slightest.

He was conventionally attractive, charming with the slightest inkling of impulsiveness. Witty, funny, he had a way of making you feel special.

You had never felt like this about anyone- was it love? You wouldn't know. How could you recognise a feeling you'd never felt? 

It was at this point that you finally snapped back to your senses. Kit had left, you weren't sure how long ago that was. Obi-Wan was awake, sat up slightly and looking at you with the most peculiar expression.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing- nothing important."