Starting Over

Molly's Turn

"Geez, did you need to come so early?" I muttered, stepping aside for Toby to pass.

He was still dressed in workout clothes and drenched in sweat, Adidas duffle bag over his shoulder. "Busy day, and I'm not sure when a more convenient time would be for you..." There was a hint of sarcasm with the serious expression he gave, and my tummy twisted into knots.

"Thanks for coming back... I know, um, I should've talked to you yesterday."

"Take a nap while I shower," he said, excusing himself.

I laid in bed, obviously unable to sleep because my mind was racing with what he might do — it'd been so long since I'd been spanked, and even longer since being reprimanded by Toby. A shiver crept down my spine remembering his no-nonsense way of scolding, the disappointing glare he didn't bother hiding as he tailored the session to punishments I'd despise most.

Ugh... I hate Vic for convincing me to send that message last night...

It didn't take long before I heard the clatter of my beaded door and Toby poked his head in to see if I was awake. His wet hair was spiked in a million different directions — the sexy messy look, without even trying. He was dressed in a tight black T-shirt and relaxed jeans, still barefoot.

Sitting on my bed next to me, his compassion finally came out. "What's going on?"

I sat up, leaning against the wall, knees to my chest. It was hard being on the opposite side of the therapist chair nowadays. But Toby knew the look that would get me to open up — eyebrows slightly raised in curiosity, not too somber, nor too joyful.

I sheepishly gulped and twiddled my thumbs. "Since... you know... everything with Violet... I've not been.... um... keeping up with my stuff."

He said nothing at first, now a flatter expression that made me fidget in my seat and avert my gaze, unable to speak. "What 'stuff'?"

Chewing on my lower lip, I threw my shoulders up in a shrug. "I dunno... like... work...." I glanced up at him. "I got kinda behind on paperwork... especially at my other job..."

Finally, he sighed and shook his head, sitting up straight. "Molly, I understand you're nervous, but at this rate, we'll be here all day. Please make this easier on us both and just tell me what's up. If you wanted to stall, you should've taken me up on the offer last night. Today we don't have time for games."

Tears welled in my eyes, but I took a deep breath to keep them in a few seconds longer. "I think since she moved in, I've been triggered. Back in the day we used to party hard together..."

"Yeah, I remember."

There was a long pause as I wondered what to say next. I was getting cold feet, but Toby's silence urged me to continue. "I haven't kept up with any of my notes or treatment plans. And I missed the registration deadline for the classes I needed to take..." I stared at my thumbs. "And... like usual... smoking more than I should..." A voice in my mind told me to leave it at that — Toby doesn't need to know more, or it'll jeopardize my new position. Another part of me recognized I had to confess everything. "And okay... at my old job I skipped a day of work for no reason and took my vape pen with me to the office... I mean, I didn't smoke much, and never right before seeing a client... I gave myself time..."

"Don't make excuses for my benefit." His terse remark caused my head to lift. Now his gaze was less flat and more serious, slightly disappointed.

"I don't want you to think I'm going to fuck up the opportunity you gave me..."

"If you were really worried about that, someone else would be here right now."

I nodded. He was right — I trusted him. "The other day I took a few hits off my pen and like two minutes later my supervisor came in... I was so scared that he could've caught me..."