Starting Over

Chloe Before NYC

~Two Months Ago~

"What happened at court? Are you okay?" My voice faltered despite best efforts to remain calm, the palpitations in my chest making it hard to breathe. I'd avoided thoughts about my online friend's sentencing trial all morning, but now that we were on the phone, my anxiety refused to contain itself.

"Everything's fine. They gave me house arrest, but no technology... would you believe I'm on an actual landline?? So hipster." Sage's laugh gifted me the comfort I needed to breathe a sigh of relief. "But anyway, my autism and gender fluidity did me good for once... they were afraid of mixing me with 'normal' criminals. So here I am. Dunno how I'll deal without internet, though... arts and crafts?"

"You being crafty... that's hilarious." I had to smile, noticing the first ounce of optimism since my granny died and Sage was arrested. Two unrelated situations that occurred simultaneously. Probably both also could've been avoided if I was a better person. "I'm glad you're okay."

I lit a cigarette and my body softened as smoke blew from my lips. Sage described the trial and my eyes drifted around the living room of Granny's dilapidated home. Photos of her estranged children and grandkids adorned the walls. Underneath was a puke green sofa that'd been there since my dad and I moved in at the turn of the millennium, a few months after my mom left. Next to it sat an ancient wooden coffee table, countless rings blended together from the cups of visitors throughout the years. On the other side stood an out-of-tune piano I'd cherished in childhood, and above was the beady-eyed rodent who'd commandeered the attic, head sticking out of the hole-y ceiling. Taking another drag off my cigarette, I kept focused on the creature and tried not to panic as I forced my attention back to my friend.

"Okay, Chloe... my turn to be the older sibling you never had. Get the fuck out of Michigan. Start over, make a new life. You don't need anything bad to happen... you know?"

"Yeah, I understand. It's just so much work and money, and we spent everything on your legal counsel and Granny's memorial..." A knot formed in the back of my throat and my lip quivered at the memories of the last few weeks.

"Call Izaak, he'll help."

The thought of my best friend's bearded, grinning face gave me a teary-eyed smile. We hadn't talked in years, since our college graduation when the FBI recruited him to work in New York City. Izaak was the sole trustworthy figure remaining in my life, and I was confident he'd care for me, even after not communicating in so long. But I was nervous. One reason we hadn't spoken was the shame of my recent behavior. I'd adopted most of my bad habits for survival, but still. Izaak's strong moral code and career in law enforcement had the potential to get us both in serious trouble. "I dunno... I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

"You've been thinking about it for months. It's the right thing." My hesitation in responding prompted Sage to continue efforts to sway me. "Don't dig yourself any deeper... it won't be as easy for you with your dad's history..."

"It'll be fine. I can be convincingly innocent when I want." I didn't admit that her words were also thoughts that'd been pestering me.

A second mouse head poked through the ceiling hole, staring at me in doubt. My stomach rolled, and I felt dizzy all of a sudden, heart racing in near-panic. The walls pulsated as if they were closing in. I couldn't spend another minute in that house.

"Sleep on it. The solution will appear in your dreams, like always."

"Thanks, friend. For everything..."

"You're welcome." Before she could say more, I heard yelling in the background and Sage shouted back, groaning to me that she needed to go. "We'll chat soon. Call Izaak."