Reconsidering Bachelorhood

Truth

A pained groan and a slight shifting brought Kakashi out of his thoughts. He looked down in his lap to see that Mizuki was beginning to wake up. After she had passed out, he carried her out of the cavern. He surmised that she wasn't in any serious medical emergency so he took a seat by a tree. She laid on the soft grass with her head gently cradled in his lap. A small fire sat off to the side to provide her with some warmth after taking a plunge into the cold water. For nearly an hour he remained completely still, cycling between watching the clouds and the woman in his lap.

Slowly but surely Mizuki came back to reality. She took a few laboured breaths to help ease the pain in her head that was already beginning to dull. She placed one hand on her forehead and rubbed furiously. The other gripped the cool blades of grass. Her mind tried to replay what happened in the cavern but it was a complete blank.

"Mizuki? Are you okay?" She heard a voice ask. She slowly opened her eyes to let them adjust to the sunlight. When her eyes cleared, Kakashi's worried face came into focus. His brows furrowed when Mizuki suddenly gasped and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Mizuki. Mizuki, what's wrong?" He asked, a hint of panic evident in his voice. He watched her body quiver and shake but she remained silent. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and waist. He drew her up into a sitting position and leaned her against his chest. He didn't care if she thought his actions were too forward. Kakashi rested his chin atop her head and waited for whatever was happening to come to a pass.

It felt like eternity, but really it was only 30 seconds, before her body relaxed. He felt Mizuki shift in his arms. He loosened his grip but didn't let go. She turned her head and buried it into his chest, her hands gripping his jacket tightly. They stayed like that for a few moments until Mizuki slowly lifted her head. Kakashi was about to ask her what happened when he saw her face. Her eyes glistened with tears, behind the tears he could see a glint of pain, confusion...and recognition.

His breath hitched and his heart beated painfully in his chest. He looked away before whispering his most dreaded fear. "You remember..."

He felt so foolish for feeling this way. The whole point of him bringing her here was to help her remember, and it worked out in the end. So he should be happy that she was getting better right? He should...but the events afterwards are something that he didn't want to face just yet.

"Yes." She answered just as quietly. Mizuki was in such a conflicted place right now. She was so happy that her memories finally returned but all the emotions from knowing what caused the rift between them ate at her heart.

She didn't know how but when she set her gaze upon the enormous dragon her vision blurred and a slideshow of images played in her head. The pain became so intense she passed out. When she woke up and her eyes met Kakashi's, a similar effect happened but she clearly saw and understood the images that were flickering through her head.

After everything that happened it still pained her that there was a missing piece. What happened for their relationship to take such a drastic turn? Why did he suddenly give her the cold shoulder? Was it something that she did?

She was as determined as she was before to get the answers that she needed. Her hands unconsciously tightened.

"W-what happened?" She asked breathlessly. "Why...why did you..." She trailed out, unable to get the rest of her question out. They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence and he had yet to answer her.

When she looked up at his face, she could see him slipping further from her. In a desperate attempt to get some answers, she brought her hands up to grasp his face. She gently guided him to face her. Her heart cracked a little at seeing the broken look on his face.

"Please. I promised you I wouldn't be upset, I really mean it. Please, Kakashi, I just need to know. I want us to fix whatever it was that caused this in the first place." Mizuki sighed dejectedly when he still didn't respond.

With a heavy heart, Mizuki removed her hands from his face and made a move to get out of his arms. She didn't get a chance to do so when Kakashi tightened his grip on her. She looked at him questioningly. Was he going to finally give her an answer now?

"I..." He began, but stopped unsure of how to even begin discussing this. How does one tell the woman he cares about deeply that he acted like a child because he let his past insecurities get in the way?

His eyes wandered down to Mizuki's face when he felt her soft hands come up to caress his face again. The caring and encouraging look in her eyes spurred him to answer her.

"My...my past is no secret. I lost a lot of important people in my life. My mother passed away giving birth to me and I never got to meet her. My father took his own life when the village turned on him. My sensei and old teammates became my new family when I was in a dark place. Even when I was giving them a hard time, they never turned their backs on me. Losing them was very hard."

Mizuk's frown deepened. He was right that his past was no secret but hearing him talk about it instead of hearing it from someone else brought on new emotions. She wrapped her arms around his torso and laid her head on his chest, hoping to bring him a little comfort as he continued.

"The life of a shinobi is one that is filled with danger, uncertainty, grief, and loss. Dating...it was not something that I ever considered because it meant getting close to someone. It also meant potentially losing someone."

It finally clicked in Mizuki's head. It finally made sense to her why he distanced himself like that. The timing also made perfect sense, his fear of her losing him was probably amplified from the near death experience he had from that one mission and he confirmed her theory.

"That day in the hospital after my surgery, I was awake when you were crying." He admitted.

"Seeing you so upset over me scared me. What if I had died? I didn't want to put you through that again. When you left, I thought it was good to give us some space but after the first couple days I started to get angry at myself for pushing you away. And when you lost your memories...it really hurt to know that you didn't remember me. I realized that I would rather take the risk and be with you rather than not explore this relationship further. I care about you, Mizuki, and I want you in my life. Kakashi finished with a whisper.

Mizuki tightened her hold on him. She felt him respond by wrapping his arms around her, returning her hug. After taking a few moments to collect her thoughts she lifted her head to look up at him. She brought her hands back up to grasp his face, bringing his blank eyes to focus back on her.

"Thank you for being honest with me. I can understand now why you did what you did, but that doesn't mean I agree with your actions. Next time just talk to me. I care about you a lot too, Kakashi. When I realized I had feelings for you, I knew full well what that would mean. I grew up in a family of shinobis and kunoichis, I'm no stranger to loss and grief that you've experienced. I'm not going to let that worry get in the way of pursuing something more with you. I really like you...alot."

Kakashi's eyes widened when, with one swift move, Mizuki pulled his mask down and pressed her soft lips to his in a gentle kiss. Kakashi closed his eyes to relish in the amazing feelings the woman was eliciting in him. After a moment he pulled back from the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers.

"I'm sorry for how I approached things with you."

Mizuki shook her head. "As long as you see your mistake then it's okay, I forgive you. But please promise me one thing?"

"What is it?" He asked.

"Next time you're worried about our relationship, please just talk to me. I promise you we can work it out together."

Kakashi chuckled. "I promise."

He brought his lips back to her, content to spend the rest of the day getting reacquainted with the woman he missed dearly.