Mint [H.S.]

9

After my conversation ended with Natalia, I decided that I would be moving back to New York at the end of the week. The next day I quit my job at Hemingway Books and told the people at the publishing office I was stepping down. The next thing I had to do was something I had been dreading the most. 

Jaz... I had been putting off telling her about my impending move. She had been nothing but patient and caring with me over the past two months. 

I lay across my bed, holding my covers close to my chest. I am wrapped up in a cocoon, my safe haven of blankets and pillows. It's in between these sheets that I feel safe... protected... hidden from my forceful demons. 

A soft knock sounds from the bedroom door. Meekly I uttered a small, "Come in." 

Jaz opens the door slowly, her blonde hair hanging over her face as she looks down at whatever it was that she was holding. Chances are it was another tray of food. As much as I've told her that I'm not hungry, she kept on insisting that I ate. 

"Toast," she tells me, gently placing the tray on my bedside table. She sits on the foot of my bed. her eyes focusing on her fingers. My eyes catch a glimmer of something...

"Jaz?" 

She looks up, hesitation engraved over her features, "Yeah?" 

"What's that?" 

She looks down at her lap. Her hands closed into small fists against her thighs. She stretches her hands out, allowing the diamond to glisten under the afternoon sun. "Are you engaged?" 

Nervously, she twiddles with the ring before she turns and faces me fully. "I am," she confirms, a small smile playing at her lips. 

"Congratulations Jaz," I responded, truly happy for my friend but my deflated tone saying nothing of the sort. "Honest. That's amazing."

She moves over, bringing her hand to my outstretched palm. It was a beautiful, white gold ring with a round cut diamond in the centre. Smaller diamonds lined the edges encasing it. It was stunning ring. Showy, glamours... completely Jaz. I was happy for her. 

"When did he propose?" I ask as I continue to look at her ring. 

"Last night... I was going to tell you right away but I wasn't sure if you'd want to know. I just..." she stammers, her voice trailing off. 

"Why weren't you sure if I'd want to know?" 

"Well - you... I didn't want to hurt you. It's a bit like walking on egg shells around you. I didn't want to do something or say anything that would bring you more down. The last thing I needed to do was tell you about my engagement." 

I didn't reply. I felt awful... guilty. I scratched the back of my neck, not knowing what else to do. 

Jaz smiles over at me, rubbing her thumb over my knuckles. 

"I'm sorry." 

"For what?" I look at her, bewildered that she would apologize to me. 

"You're sad. You're in such a bad place and here I am showing you my engagement ring. I'm sorry." 

I shake my head, my eyes softening, "You should be celebrating." 

"I am... we are. Actually - um, we're having an engagement party here at the flat this weekend. Is that alright? We can move it up to the rooftop if it's too overwhelming." 

Anxiety washes over me, guilt piling up at the pit of my stomach. The timing of everything was awful... so awful. 

"Jaz, I have to tell you something."