Sunflower [h.s.]

10 - A Lovely Girl

I sang, my voice deep and quiet, matching the tone of the song. I looked into the crowd, searching for Charlotte and finding her and Isabel standing near the front. She was staring at me with a smile so wide I could've exploded.

I never understood how she didn't realize how special she was. Just hearing her saying my name or clapping at the end of the song was enough to make me roll over and die. I couldn't contain the joy she made me feel, I was smiling like a fool even though the song wasn't a happy one.

The second song had a different sound, but it fit the overall tone of the set. I was excited to sing it, it showed off a different range of my voice and I had fun with it. It was more punk than alternative, but I liked the feeling of screaming as I sang. Charlotte's face was priceless as I sang.

She watched my every move, and I couldn't help but look at her. I closed my eyes, letting the music run through me and enjoying the euphoric rush I was feeling, but still feeling the burn of her gaze on my skin.

At one point, Mitch and I were both singing, our heads pressed together, sharing his microphone. I loved having my best friends in the band with me, and I was glad they included me in it. I'm glad I had people who loved me and did awesome shit like this alongside me.

Stay with me tonight, I'll kiss your head to the morning

I'll let you sleep on my side of the bed, girl

My thoughts were running back to Charlotte and I's sleepover last week and how I'd ended up sleeping in her bed. I apologized a million times, but that moment made me wonder what things would be like if things were different between us.

I was getting nervous about the next song, it was pretty accurate about how I was feeling with Charlotte. I knew she wouldn't think much of it, but I was basically putting my heart on the line, even if she wasn't aware. I both loved and hated that aspect of our relationship.

I'm sure she heard the songs I played for her. I know she paid attention to the lyrics, but I also knew that if she had any thought that I was using them to express myself, she would think she was reading too much into it.

The words came from deep in my chest and I didn't think about what I was singing, I just sang. I noticed her gaze still fixed on me and met her stare as I sang the lyrics that'd been on my mind for weeks.

Would you come here and spin with me?

I've been dying to get you dizzy

Find a way up into your head

So I can make you feel like new again

She smiled as I sang and I wished I could tell her how I felt, but I knew that wasn't the case. Not yet.

We finished the song and the crowd erupted into applause. The lights were making me a bit sweaty. Well, that combined with the fact that I was jumping up and down while singing, and I had nervous sweats. I wondered if I had pit stains, but I definitely couldn't check on stage in front of a bunch of people.

"This next song is one that I actually wrote with the inspiration of a lovely girl," I spoke shakily into the microphone, looking down at Charlotte and noticing her wide grin. "This is for Charlotte. It's called Joyride."

I noticed Isabel saying something in Charlotte's ear and I was praying that it was good. I really didn't want to fuck this up.

The song was a change from the last three, its slow and quiet tone washing over me as I sang the lyrics. I didn't stop staring at Charlotte, though, and it felt like I was just singing to her, not in front of a crowd.