Poles Apart

Chapter Twenty

He turns to me with a sheepish smile.

I raise a single eyebrow at him. "I don't need a bodyguard."

He walks back to me. "Look, Arvi," he explains. "We wouldn't hire one unless you need one."

"I don't understand why I need one!" I argue. Who in the world walks around with a bodyguard because they are on the board of a public company?

"Look, I didn't want to say this before because I don't want to keep rubbing it in your face," he confesses slowly, "but with your wedding coming up, we think you must have some sort of protection at all times. You're not just a Ravichander anymore you are also going to be a Kona."

I chuckle sarcastically. "And you not saying it is making it go away?" Not saying it doesn't make it go away, but saying it makes my fears intensify.

On a long list of what-ifs, my biggest fear is what if I can't fall in love with Arjun?

A voice in my head tells me that I'm paranoid. Why would I not love Arjun? But my pessimistic brain has questions and answers. How do you love someone you know practically nothing about, even if you are going to marry them in six months?

What if I learn something about him that will break everything we've built so far, even if we've created so little?

"Arvi," Karthik says comfortingly, as hugs me. He rubs my arm as the thoughts in my head make tears swarm in my eyes. "It may be too soon, but not all good things take time."

I chuckle tearfully at his lame attempt to cheer me up. An inevitable sniffle escapes me, and it doesn't take long for me to break down next to Karthik.

"Everything's going to change!" I cry, refusing to move away from Karthik and let him see my face.

Karthik chuckles insensitively. What sort of a brother is he? I wrap my arms around his torso when he tries to move, not letting him. He'll only make fun of me for crying.

"Nothing's going to change, Arvi," he assures me. "You'll still be my only annoying sister, and I'll still be your eldest annoying brother."

"I don't annoy everyone. You should feel special about yourself," I sniffle.

That's-- "Not true," Karthik completes the thought in my head.

I pout, wiping my tears off my face before I look at him. "I only annoy people I love," I tell him truthfully this time.

He laughs, making me chuckle through tears too. "You have very odd ways of saying you love me."

It is a prevalent tendency to annoy people to show affection, but what would I tell my insolent brother about it? "You think it odd because I've never told you so," I retort, wiping off the remnants of the tears from my eyes.

He laughs as he presses a quick kiss into my hair. "Don't worry. I know you do."

"I'm only worried because of your delusions," I tell him, rolling my eyes.

Karthik hums as if agreeing with me. "You know you'll have to tell Arjun you love him?" he teases.

"I don't love Arjun," I deny, pulling away from Karthik to look him in the face. "I don't even know Arjun."

"I'm talking about when you love him," Karthik tells me calmly. "No, wait," he says quickly, as though disturbed by something. "Nevermind, actually, don't tell him. Don't ever tell any guy that you love him, Arvi," he warns. "You're not allowed to love guys."

There's a reason why you shouldn't talk to your brothers about some things; like boys. Even if I were to gossip with my brothers about boys, I know I shouldn't speak to Karthik about them. On second thoughts, let's keep girl-talk away from the boys.