Land of Light and Shadows

Chapter 51

Momma will be keeping a little secret from you – me. When she goes to try and stop them, it will be right after she realizes she's pregnant. Thia, Allel, and Kalla already know. Elys, too, since he'd seen it in a vision a few days prior. And you can't forget Ro, especially since he'll be more over protective of her than he already is.

Jai paused in his pacing, lifting his knuckles to his lips, and had to close his eyes to will away his own fear and heartbreak and focus solely on the pure joy that radiated through him.

He was going to be a father.

A father to the most beautiful and perfect female he would never get to meet if her warning rang true.

You didn't even think about it when you saved him. But I know you'll be scared. Scared to go, scared to leave Momma and our family behind. There is no changing it, though. For her to succeed, you have to do this. She will hate you, curse you for leaving her, but it's all right. Everything will be all right, Daddy. Elys and I will see you before you go. I promise.

Well, Jai hoped that was true. Just once. Just once he wanted to see Dessa for himself and not through the visions Lyv had given him.

And that fear...well, it was already gripping him tight, twisting his stomach. Dessa didn't tell him what would happen exactly, but Jai didn't really want to know. Unlike Elys, he wanted to be blind to what would happen next.

When Lyv had left just the hour before...gods, he didn't want to let her go. She was having him make promises he knew he wasn't going to be able to keep. He did just to ease her mind, but for him, he was trying to take in every single one of her features knowing it was the last time he was going to see her.

"You all right?" Gideon asked him then, seeing the darkened look cast shadows across Jai's face.

All right? No, not in the slightest.

"Yeah," Jai managed to choke out. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Overthinking, you mean?"

"More than likely."

Mik watched him carefully. "Have you gotten anything from Lyv?"

Once more, Jai reached down their bond, already stretched thin with the distance between them. She was...shaking, scared as she and Roshan continued on toward the capital she could now see as a tiny speck in the distance. Nothing from her was clear, though. It was as if her mind was muddled, shifting slowly through murky waters Jai had trouble navigating through.

Finally, Jai sat down on the ground next to Gideon, legs bent, and rested his arms across his knees. "She's there, but I can't get anything clear from her. She's all right, but she's..."

Gideon's hands tightened into fists. "We should have gone with her, threats be damned."

"Then what?" Mik asked. "We would all be dead as soon as one boot was through the city gates."

Knowing he was right, Gideon didn't respond.

Jai raked a hand through his hair a few times before tying the top half of it back in a knot. "I just don't want to be right. Right in the reasoning behind Corliss asking her to go."

Gideon and Mik grew quiet beside him as Jai was once again lost in thought.

All around them, guardsmen were packing up what they could from the camp, loaded the wagons, and settled the horses in for the night with food and water. By then, Thia, Allel, and Kalla had finished with their own tasks and were making their way over to where they sat. Jai watched their approach, Allel and Kalla quietly talking and Thia slowly walking behind, her eyes on the ground and out of focus. They were worrying over Lyv just as much as Jai, Gideon, and Mik were, but for another reason they thought Jai didn't know of.