13 | a strange new world

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I am staring at the multitude of people
But when I rise, I see nothing but trouble
What lies ahead in this strange new world?
Disappointment? Hate? Is it even a word?
Unpredictable, it's what I expected it to be
Under new rules, new goals—I chafe under the sea
What more could I expect to find in this
Other than peculiarity and nonsense of things
Can you please tell me how
Could I cope under the stress of failing awe
Everywhere I look, I see faces and smiles
I hoped, but these strange new world is beyond my demise

Save me from the pitfalls of my mind
I try to analyze each and every word I could find
I face pressure, straight and head on
But on the inside, I'm as brittle as a cone
I'm tired of fighting the tide of complacency
But I can't sit back and enjoy the life of mediocrity
I'm torn, can you please help me
I hope you can find a way out of this misery
This, indeed, is a strange new world
Where I hoped to be free, instead I felt like a bird
Caged, hopelessly trapped inside
Until I crack and in madness I reside

Something terrible, something big rests in my shoulders
Every move, something wrong, someone it bothers
Until I can't know what to do any longer
Until I drop dead, exhausted from the banter
I'm scared of the things the future may bring
I fear the trouble I'm probably making out of everything
I stare into new faces and new people in a new race
I set the goal but I wasn't sure of the pace
My heart trembles as emotions run down
What could I do to keep my smile from turning to a frown?
And this is what this strange new world could bring
All this strife inside beacuse it got me overthinking

But I hear that tiny voice within
Telling me that it's fine even if I didn't win
But I want to, I long to reach the top
I know I can't, since someone's already waiting, I'll stop
Should I try? Should I continue the race?
Should I be like sharks, biting those above the waves?
As I sit here, eyes trained at a green panel
I drink everyhing in, whatever the teacher liked to sell
Help me find whatever's left of my understanding
Please be kind and keep me from escaping
This strange new world is eating everything in me
And in three weeks, I'm getting out of this insanity

But I hear that tiny voice withinTelling me that it's fine even if I didn't winBut I want to, I long to reach the topI know I can't, since someone's already waiting, I'll stopShould I try? Should I continue the race?Should I be like sharks, biting...

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This is one of the few poems that are directly about me and what I currently feel. I remember writing this because I changed schools and was feeling overwhelmed from the changes. So yeah, it's pretty straightforward, with no hidden meanings.

Right now, as I have already spent a year in university, I feel silly for even feeling that way in highschool. lol.

How about you? What do you think of this poem? Comment below. :)

 :)

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