t h i r t y - e i g h t

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Real

(adjective)

re·al\ˈrē(-ə)l\

:actually existing or happening
: not imaginary
: not fake, false, or artificial
: important and deserving to be regarded or treated in a serious way

°°°
The sky was so dark you couldn't even take a glimpse of the stars, though the window were closed it was enough for the chilly wind to make me shiver in cold.

I was dressed in my pajamas, the wind continues to hit me with it's cold whispers as I stepped out of the terrace. My hands were against the cold steel while I waited for him.

Is something the matter with him? Why is he making me go up here without the rest of our friends? Had he finally realized my feelings and came here to reject me.

I watched him walk near my direction, he was walking in an unhurried pace. I noticed his hands were fisted on his side, he looks so stiff standing there just a few steps away from me.

My thoughts have gone into different direction and soon, I was thinking that I'll probably get rejected here or I'm just thinking way too much about this.

The silence continued for another minute and my head had already decided that there's something bad that is approaching me based from the look of seriousness in his face. I couldn't take the silece away and asked.

"So... did something happened?" I started with a tone of hesitation and looked at him underneath my lashes. My hands were intertwined with one another as I waited for his reply.

He opened and closed his mouth, he was like a fish breathing in water and I would have find it funny if it weren't for his scorching stare. He took a big breath and opened his lips then said.

"It's you"

Excuse me? That's the phrase that flashed in my mind as I looked at him in confusion. He must have seen the expression of bewilderment in my face and explained.

"I mean it's you uh... the girl in my d-diary" he bit his lips in nervousness and looked at me the avoided my eyes and the repeated the same thing.

"Oh"

I wanted to say oh my gosh and finally, I even wanted to cry and laugh at the same time but don't dared to incase he labeled me in his mind aa a baliw person so no thank you.

My entire figure was filled with joy, I feel like I could jump and run without breaking a sweat, my heart is pumping so hard I could hear it loud and clear in my ears.

He finally admitted it! I mean I already knew that he liked me but of course I wanted to at least get a confession out of him so I stayed silent. I tried to act nonchalant about his words and replied.

"So..." I cleared my throat and continued. "What do you mean by that?" I stared at him and immediately left his gaze.

I don't want to be held captured by his gaze or else I'll just agreed to whatever he wants me to do. I need to act coy because I'm a full fledged dalagang filipina, it's our nature to be shy and to have a gentle demanour.

"You've read it haven't you?" He asked with a wisp of smile, his eyes were bent into crescent moons with a teasing glint on it.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I stuttered and wanted to knock my head into a wall, I got so affected by his dazzling smile. Ugh! Get a grip Jamie!

"That's not the matter" he walked towards me in a languid manner, as if he was slowly savoring the look of embarrassment in my face and continuously teased me with his charming smile.

Damn him! He must have known the effect of his smile on those poor and naive girls! Too unfair!

"Do... do you still like me? I heard from Hao that... you seemed to dislike me" his tone was too light and gentle, as if it'll vanish away from just a gust of wind.

Damn that Hao! He's a spy, ugh! I trusted him how could he- I'll just settle the accounts after I see him.

His eyes were firmly attached to me, wisps of his hair was stuck on his forehead and I noticed that his body was once more locked in tension. He seems nervous, no, he really is.

I gulped in nervousness, my heart a bit giddy from all that beating, I couldn't even keep my eyes on him lest I turn red- if I can see it. I took a massive breath and turned my eyes to his and shook my head.

"So... you like me?" I nodded sideways and avoided his eyes. "Can I court you?" I felt like my heart struck with cupid's bow and the feeling of weightlessness suddenly knocks me off my feet.

"I like you, I really really do so... can... can I court you?"

I stood still, silence hanging in the air then I nodded since I don't trust my voice won't scream in glee from the overflowing joy that's about to burst in my body.

It feels like the saying "Anuman ang gagawin, pitong beses iiipin" left the room. I didn't even think about the consequences nor the future, I just answered yes without thinking.

The two of us got down sneakily, I tried to get the smile out of my face incase my friends or my parents see me smiling without reason and associates me as a baliw but it won't stop. The blistering cold from earlier left my entire body and instead it was filled with overflowing warmth, my eyes begun to see the little sparkling stars from above in short, the world seems to become more beautiful in my eyes.

Seriously, I think I really am getting crazy.

We got down only to see our friends already laying down and snoring, me and Willmark shared smiles and turned the television on. I got on the couch and covered myself with my blanket. The guys were sleeping in the floor with their blankets on, Hanie on the other hand was in the couch and is already deep in sleep.

I turn my head to my right and met his eyes, his were sparkling like those little stars amidst the darkness surrounding us. I offered a smile at him, don't know if he saw it and closed my eyes.

I heard him whisper goodnight and heard the him rustling in his bed before it stops. My smile deepens and my chaotic mind and drained body from the exhilarating experience from earlier has finally calmed down.

Before I loose myself to sleep and wander off dreamland, my last thoughts were finally. My dreams and imagination has finally reached my reality.

Notes:

Baliw meaning a mentally-ill person or a  crazy person.
• The traditional dalagang Pilipina (Filipina maiden) is shy and secretive about her real feelings for a suitor and denies it even though she is really in love with the man.
Anuman ang gagawin, pitong beses iiipin, filipino idiom meaning think before you leap. Often, if you give yourself some time, you can save yourself from making foolhardy decisions.

***
Fun fact: Yep, that's the true date but the year is in 2017, I told you I messed up the years, dang it hahahaha

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