The Aftermath (Hotchniss)

one

Hotch PoV
Once I heard the words "She never made it off the table" escape from JJ's voice, I knew that I had to find Ian Doyle and I would do anything it takes to get Emily back. I watched my team break down after hearing those heart wrenching words and had to excuse myself. After I left the room JJ soon followed and we began making arrangements for Emily's transfer to a hospital in Boston before she gets better and goes into hiding. I left the hospital, my team, my family and went home where I relieved Jessica of watching my small beautiful boy.
I never thought I could feel the way I do about Emily, after Haley I thought I was broken, but without doing anything Emily picked up my pieces and she fixed me.  While Jack watched a movie and I made dinner, I couldn't get what happened just thirty-two hours ago, in the elevator before the person I loved left for good.
Thirty-One hours and Twenty-Seven minutes ago
"Hotch-" Emily started as soon as the elevator doors closed and I could feel stress and tension radiating off of her. I gently glanced over and she was in a dark purple top and gray pants with a matching work jacket, all I could think about was stopping the elevator and kissing her right there, right now.
"Hotch" She repeated, which caused me to stop imagining and listen.
"What's up?" I asked and I could tell that something was wrong, Emily looked stressed and upset, I wanted to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but I knew I couldn't.
"I-I need to remember this, if anything should ever happen to me, just remember this." Emily said and turned to face me, before I could speak her lips were on mine. I thought it was all a dream, that she was just a figure of my imagination but I soon became aware that it wasn't and this was really happening.
Emily PoV
    I was mentally preparing for what was going to happen tomorrow as I walked to the elevator. Once I pressed the button to go down, someone's hand came flying in before the doors could close.
"Hold the elevator!" The voice yelled and a large feeling of familiarity came over me, it was him, it was Hotch. The elevator door closed behind him and I wanted to speak but hesitated. I could feel him looking at me, his brown eyes focused on my body, and that's when I knew that I needed to act quickly. I was already throwing my career and possibly my life away tomorrow, what's the big deal. I repeated his name twice when he finally came out of the trance he was in.
"-just remember this" I finished as I turned to face him. I looked into his eyes and all I wanted to say was "God Hotch, I have loved you for two years, can't you see that?" but instead I just kissed him, and I kissed him hard. I heard the elevator ding, that's when I pulled away and walked out. Away from the BAU, away from my family, and away from Hotch... for good.
Present Day
Hotch PoV
    I was still in the kitchen when I heard a knock at my front door. I quickly wiped my hands on my thighs and went to the door where I saw a delivery man with an envelope.
"Aaron Hotchner?" He asked. I signed for the envelope and before opening it I could already see Emily's handwriting and my heart broke. Wondering if I should open the letter made my heart hurt, on one hand it could be a letter saying the kiss was a mistake and on the other it could be totally different. I sat down and opened the letter.
Three Days Ago
Emily PoV
"Aaron, I wish I could lie and tell you that I didn't have feelings for you, I wish I could call you and listen to your voice, tell you how I fell in love with you. My time is short and I know that, as much as it kills me to say goodbye, it's the only way that I can protect the team, you and Declan.
This isn't my "I Love you" this is my goodbye.
You are the only person I want to say a proper goodbye to. Not because I don't love my family at the BAU, but because I am in love with you. You make me smile, you make me happy, you have opened my eyes to love again and we haven't even shared a kiss. All I ask is that when I'm gone that you think of me, that you think of what we could have been. I know that you have never said anything to me about how you feel, but I also know that friends and coworkers don't look at each other the way you and I do. Goodbye Aaron
    Emily Prentiss"
Teardrops fell onto the paper as I wrote and I knew that sending this would be the hardest thing I have ever done.
Hotch PoV
    After reading the letter I could tell how hurt Emily had been, I could tell that she was crying while writing this. I held the letter knowing it was the last thing I would have of Emily Prentiss. I was happy that she had figured out my feelings for her, but it grew into anger because I would never be able to act on my love for her.  It was over before it began and I didn't even have a fighting chance.

(Here's my Hotchniss ff , I hope you guys like it, )