LOVE BUG

CHAPTER 45: HORRIBLE PERSON

It's been a while since I dedicated a chapter, and today, I'm dedicating this chapter to @kotlcfan_29 for her sweet support and comments on both of my stories ❤😘 You know how much I like to see all these little notifications from all of you, my little rays of sunshine! You illuminate my days 😉😁

Also, important!!! Read the author's note at the end because I have a question for all of you.

She is never going to escape him.

Another laundry bag, another pile of dark gray fabrics reminding her of Nathaniel. The crumpled clothes clearly aren't his; Anastasia would recognize his intoxicating scent arising all her senses in a thousand sweaty smells. Nevertheless, just the sight of those tee-shirts, pants, jackets... is enough to travel her mind back to him and to tighten her chest. Surrounded by stacks of dirty laundry, this is not the reason why she would have expected to have trouble breathing.

In the silence of the washing machines, the last time she has seen him keeps spinning in her head. He has done so much to find safer ways. He has soothed her, sated her with extra-care and ecstasy, and she has made a promise. Yet she has broken it.

The fright she has felt the second she has walked out of that bathroom has been too much. Nathaniel can give her everything; if it is to lose him, she can't take it. 

The long minutes she has prayed he would receive her text, that he, at least, would be safe, are still ticking in her memory, and her fingers are still shaking, even though now Nathaniel has explained to her that it has just been his best friend and that he would never denounce them. 

He has made sure to reassure her the most he could through his texts, writing everything she could have wished to hear. Yet she still has canceled their meeting, date, her promise, whatever this could be called.

She can easily imagine the disappointment crossing his tender gaze, especially when he has asked when they could meet again, and she has pretended to have a lot of school work, while it has now been a few days that she hasn't touched her assignments. It seems this is the only thing she does lately: disappoint Nathaniel, and herself, as she acts like a coward, avoiding everything. This doesn't resemble her.

It's all too much for her: the pain it creates to push Nathaniel away, the want to be with him all the time, the fears and the dangers, the lies and the guilt toward everyone, and the uncertainty of it all. Whatever she does, something always feels wrong, and she is unable to find the right decision.

She is cursing everything, and mostly herself, in her head as even the pack of detergent is turning against her, perched at the top of the shelf, away from her reach. She is about to grab it, lifting on her tiptoes, when the quiet sound of the door opening makes her almost fall backward.

She barely manages to keep her balance, as she has been too lost in her spinning thoughts, and finally finding back the focus of her gaze, she does another jump. 

She has to blink a few times to be sure it isn't her anxious mind tricking her. But no, she isn't imagining the man standing by the door, nor his blue gaze, even more piercing than in her memories.

"Hello?" she breaks the deafening silence. Though she doesn't know what else to say.

Nathaniel has told her that he knows now. But from then, where does this go? She has expected that maybe he would just ignore her existence, yet his presence here is wiping out her hopes because soldiers never come anywhere near the laundry room. Besides, judging by his freezing gaze, he won't be greeting her as a friend.

"Anastasia, right?" The way he pronounces her name confirms her supposition, and she can only swallow the lump growing in her tight throat as he starts walking slowly toward her. "I think Nate has told you who I am," he goes on.