A Taste Of Life

Chp. 11- Pizza On The Golden Gate Bridge

I don't want to lose you Ava..

Please don't leave me.. I love you Taylor.

This is it.. this is the end.

My eyes spread open and I jolted awake. The lingering of her voice still echoed in my ears. I sat up, looking around the room with watery eyes. I wiped my face furiously, trying to forget the image of her out of my head. I desperately wanted to wake up beside her. To roll over and see her sleeping so peacefully. I wanted this to be a dream. But it wasn't.. this was the cruel reality.

"You're awake." I whipped around to see Sarah still in the same clothes. "I thought you would sleep the whole night."

"What time is it?" I asked, my voice sounding raspy.

"Almost midnight. You've been passed out since we ditched school." I scooted over as she sat down next to me. "How'd you sleep?"

"Great." I lied.

"Really? You've been saying some girl's name in your sleep.. Uh.. Ava, I think. Who's Ava?"

I took a deep breath before standing up. A huge wave of dizzyness overwhelmed me. It took me a while to gain balance before I could take a step. "She's no one."

"Yeah, okay." She sarcastically stated. "The bathroom is to the left if you need to use it."

"Thanks."

I switched the light on and looked in the mirror. I had dark bags under my eyes and my hair was a mess. I splashed cold water on my face and raked my hair back with my fingers. When I opened the door, I jumped back startled to see Sarah right in front of me. "C'mon. Let's go."

"Go where?"

"I'm hungry and I was waiting for you to wake up so we could grab something to eat."

"Oh." I followed behind her out of the apartment building and back to her car.

She ordered a pizza and looks at the box with hungry eyes the entire drive. The drive is longer than I thought and my legs are growing uncomfortable under the heat of the pizza box. Finally, the city lights caught my eye as I looked at my surroundings. The stars beamed brightly and I can't help but smile at the beautiful tall structures around me. I've never been sight seeing since I moved here. San Fransisco really is beautiful.

My eyes darted straight to the sight in front of me. We drove past the Golden Gate Bridge and to a wall where toursists visit. Luckily, since it's one in the morning, no cars were parked. We pulled into a spot and I sat on the wall as Sarah grabbed a blanket from her trunk.

"This so beautiful." I remark.

She chuckles as she sits beside me with the blanket covering the both of us. We open the box of pizza and she glady places two slices in her lap. "My dad used to take me here when I was little. We'd buy a pizza and sit here and talk about anything and everything that came to mind." She says before taking a huge mouthful of pizza.

I looked over at her a little suprised. Not once has she ever mentioned anything about her parents. But I don't wanna push her to tell me anything if she isn't ready.

"Now he won't he talk to me anymore.." She whispered under her breath. She shook her head before turning to me. "So what's your name?"

I realized that in all the times we have talked, I have never even told her my name. "Oh.. I'm Taylor. Taylor Andrews."

"Well nice to meet you Taylor Andrews, I'm Sarah Hart." She mocked, playfully shaking my hand. "So tell me Taylor, what brought you here to San Fransisco?"

"Um.. I was kind of dragged here with my dad. My mom thought it would be good for me to come here and clean my act.. and also to get closer to him. But that's not happening so I'm just doing everything I can to get out of here."

"What do you want to do in college?"

I stayed silent when she asked. "I don't know.." I murmured. She nodded understanding that I didn't want to get into it.

"What was it like in your old town?"

"I.. I was a different person back then."

"How so?"

"I was.. a little reckless." I paused for a moment. "You know, parties every weekend. Hung out with the wrong crowd. That kind of thing."

"Yeah, I can tell by the way you downed that whiskey that it wasn't your first time drinking." She chuckled. "What made you stop?"

My chest started to tighten as the tension in the air grew thicker. I didn't want to bring it up, but it looked like I couldn't hide from it any longer.

"Ava.." she murmured, answering my thoughts. I nodded. It hurt to even talk about her. The image of her still runs fresh through my mind.

"And now.. I don't really know what to do with myself.."

She scooted closer to me and put her hand on my arm in comfort. "You can't depend on someone else to complete you and be your happiness. You have to be able to do that on your own."

I know she was right. But even if I didn't need anybody, being able to have that connection with someone can make you ten times stronger. She was the only thing I had come close to love. A part of me wanted to believe that after this mess is over, we would find our way back to each other. But I knew better than wishful thinking. Time and distance can change anybody. And something inside me knew that if I ever met Ava again, it wouldn't be the same.

My thoughts were interrupted by a hand waving over my face. "Stop beating yourself up about it. The only sensable thing to do now is to move on with your life. Discover yourself while you're here. Live every chance you get before you're shipped off to do another 4 years of school."

I chuckled at her enthusiam. "Yeah, I guess you're right.. so what are your plans after high school?"

"I'm going to UC San Francisco and become a nurse."

"That's great. I hope you succeed."

"Me too.. my dad is a doctor and sometimes I went to work with him at the hospital. And ever since, I wanted to help people." She murmured.

"How come.. how come you don't live with your parents.." I asked hesitately. She took a deep breath before answering. "I'm the only child in my family. So ever since I could walk, my parents always wanted what was best for me. But their expectations.. they were too much.." She sighed. "I fucked up my sophmore year.. bad.. and they haven't forgiven me ever since."

"What did you do?"

She closed her eyes and stayed silent for a moment. "I don't.. I can't talk about it right now.. not right now.."

"It's okay.. I understand.." I pulled her in close to my side. I appreciated her just even opening up to me a little bit.

She pulled away and climbed off the wall. "C'mon, we gotta go. I think that's enough of our life stories for one night."