After Olivia

4

Bill's route back to his apartment took him past one of the many places he had only visited twice since the accident. Arnold's Bar-B-Q Pit hadn't changed at all in the year and a half since he had last dropped by. The same plain white walls, red and white checkered plastic tablecloths, and well stocked oversized napkin holders. The sweet smoky aroma of a dozen barbeque sauces mixed in the air with the sounds of open flames leaping from below iron grates in the kitchen. The owner, whose name wasn't Arnold, assessed the fresh stains on his apron then welcomed the longtime customer back with a firm and honest two-handed handshake instead of a hug.

Bill looked around the restaurant and took a seat at their usual spot in the middle of the back wall. It seemed odd, sitting at the table for two, alone. Olivia would have taken the seat across from him, facing the dining room, and playfully kicked him under the table. The white paper place mat would become a canvas. Each table was conveniently equipped with a clear plastic cup filled with broken crayons, intended to keep kids entertained while their parents carried on some sort of conversation. Olivia would doodle while they spoke, occasionally looking up and throwing a flirty smile his way. Bill suddenly looked to the wall where various place mat masterpieces of were pinned. He smiled. Among the yellowed artwork of various children with corners curled and straining against the thumbtacks that held the pieces in place, an Olivia original. Now protected between sheets of Plexiglas, the crayon sunset was displayed with a photo and a simple note from the staff and patrons, "We miss you."

*****

A short ritual before bed prepared Bill for dreaming, clearing his mind of anything that would distract him from creating the detailed landscape within the dream. He lay in bed staring at the ceiling in the dark; the stippled texture lulled him into a relaxed state. He gently closed his eyes and bathed his mind with the sound of waves and white noise that emanated from a CD player on the night table. After a few minutes, he could feel his arms and legs sinking into the bed as sleep paralysis set in before he had actually fallen asleep. Later, in the midst of a deep sleep, he became consciously aware of the dream that started to form in his mind.

The landscape of the park took shape. Vibrant colours and sounds came together with the scent of flowers and the feeling of the sun's warmth and a soft breeze. He stood on the hillside above the pond and allowed the details to form around him. Olivia would arrive soon, and Bill wanted the park to be perfect for her.

"Have you been waiting long?" Olivia asked from behind him.

"Oh, you're here, already."

"Wow, the park looks so beautiful," Olivia said as she scanned the scenery. "It's never been this real before."

"I have a surprise for you. Follow me," Bill said as he started down the hill towards the pond.

Olivia started to follow Bill before she noticed the requested addition to the park. She ran past Bill and came to a stop a few feet away, "The gazebo! And it's white. I love it."

"That's only part of the surprise. Have a look," Bill said as he guided Olivia towards the stairs of the gazebo.

Olivia climbed the two steps and saw the picnic lunch waiting on the floor of the structure. She sat at the edge of the blanket and looked at the details of the woodwork while Bill pulled the food and wine out of the wicker basket. He poured a glass for Olivia and placed it in front of her. As she enjoyed the first sip, Bill pulled open the foil container to reveal a rack of barbeque ribs.

"Ribs! Oh, I missed them so much," Olivia said as she reached into the open container. "From Arnold's?"

"Of course."

Bill sat for several minutes and watched Olivia enjoy the rib dinner. It was a scene from the happy life they shared. She would dig in and loose herself in the meal for a brief time. Barbeque sauce on her hands and face worn as testament to a life being enjoyed in the moment. She would start off the meal trying to maintain some order of beauty and composure but then give up and save the napkins for later.

"I'm going to take a guess and say you are enjoying the picnic," Bill said boldly.

Olivia raised her hand to indicate she had something to say but had to finish the bite she had in her mouth. "Three years. I've waited almost three years for a taste of Arnold's Sweet Honey Sauce. This is the best surprise, ever. Aren't you having any?"

"No, I already ate. This is all for you," Bill said as he gazed at Olivia.

The desire to taste her sauce coated lips and feel them pressed against his was overwhelming. He didn't dare indulge himself for fear of losing control of the dream and possibly losing her to the nightmares that ruled the darkness after the accident. The art of lucid dreaming brought Olivia back to him, but, despite two years of practice, Bill was still barely able to control them. That night's dream was the most vivid, the most detailed and life like he had ever created.

"Everything is perfect. The gazebo is beautiful. You should maybe tell the city it looks better in white. They really should have painted it just like this. And the picnic is just... What is so funny, why are you smiling like that?" Olivia asked when she noticed Bill's open mouth smile.

"Oh, nothing, I was just remembering when we went to Arnold's after your high school grad. You wore that beautiful red gown and had your hair up. You were so elegant and beautiful with a pile of sticky used napkins beside your plate and you still had sauce on your cheek. You look exactly like that right now."

"Where?"

Bill took a napkin in his hand and prepared to wipe the smudge of sauce from Olivia's cheek. He stopped with his hand just inches from her face. After a short pause he put the napkin back and lowered his head slightly. A flood of emotions rushed in and washed over the moment they shared. Bill regained control and lifted his head.

"Your left side," he said softly.

"That's okay, I'll get it," Olivia said as she took the napkin in her hand and cleaned her face. "You know, there's one thing missing."

"That got it. What? What's missing?"

"A place mat and some crayons."

For a few minutes the couple sat quietly in the gazebo. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves in the trees and broke the glassy surface of the pond.

"My mother's birthday is this Saturday. You're going, right?"

"Yeah, of course. I got a present and everything."

"Liar, you never pick out a gift until you are on your way to the party," Oliva said with the furled brow expression she used when faking disappointment or anger towards Bill.

"Gifts were always your thing."

"Well, now it's your thing. After work tomorrow, you stop in any one of the department stores near your office and find something."

"Like what? I have no idea what to get her," Bill said before sipping his wine.

"Slippers. Stein's usually has a good selection."

"I can't. That was your tradition. Your... inside joke. Besides, I wouldn't know what style or size or colour."

"You'll know when you see them. Trust me. She's due for a new pair."

"Okay, slippers. Any other requests, my dear?" Bill asked as he bowed his head towards her.

"I really like the gazebo, and the picnic. The wine is a nice touch, a little different than the usual beer and ribs at Arnold's, but it seems to work nice for a picnic. You see, you can make little changes to your dream. Just one thing," Olivia paused, "I know we always wanted the park to ourselves, but now that we do, it seems just so..."

"Lonely?" Bill said as his eyes scanned the landscape.

"Yeah, lonely. How about adding in some people tomorrow night? I'm not talking about massive crowds of people, maybe just a few; maybe a hundred, two hundred, or so, strolling through. Oh, how about a concert or a Shakespeare in the park kind of thing?" Olivia said with a cheeky smile.

"I think I can manage a few, maybe not a hundred, but a couple here and there, to start," Bill replied as he looked out at the park.

Bill turned his head back just as Olivia and the gazebo faded from view. The park scenery that had been perfectly crafted, melted into darkness as Bill's lucid dream came to an end and gave way to a restful sleep much sooner than he would have liked.