After Olivia

1

Bill sat on a hillside for hours waiting for her. The park scenery hung around him like an old painting; a landscape lacking the depth of life and movement, the colours faded. The air was weightless and silent. He was afraid Olivia wouldn't appear.

The sun started to warm his face and glistened on ripples that danced across the surface of the pond at the bottom of the hill. A whispering breeze brought the tree branches to life and stirred the scent of lilacs with the gentle voice Bill had waited to hear.

"Hello, have you been waiting long?" Olivia asked as she sat on the hill beside him.

"No, not long," he replied as he looked at the young woman. "There's something different about your hair; it seems more golden today."

"I'm sure it's the same brown as always. Maybe it's the sunlight. Are my eyes still the soft blue you went on about yesterday?" Olivia asked as she opened her eyes wide and gazed at Bill.

"Yes, your eyes are the same. You just seem to get more beautiful every time I see you."

Olivia smiled as she looked towards her feet and asked, "How was your day?"

"Same as always," he replied as his eyes scanned her body. "God, I wish I could stay here with you."

Bill looked at the grass between them where Olivia's hand rested, close enough to touch. Her fingers played with the lush green blades as he hesitantly moved his towards it.

"Wait, no! You can't!" Olivia said as her hand recoiled away from his.

"I'm sorry. I just wish I could touch you."

"Me too, but you remember the last time. How long was it before you could see me again?"

Bill's eyes grew heavy; he felt a strain on his heart and a sickness in his stomach. He felt all these things inside himself. He felt the warmth of the sun and the cooling of the breeze. The soft blades of grass mocked him. He could feel the park around him, but what he yearned for, to hold Olivia's hand, seemed forbidden.

His vivid, lucid dream of sitting in the park was the only place he could be with his wife. He could see Olivia, hear her voice, and smell her perfume as if she were there with him. To most of his senses she was alive and with him again. The sense of touch, on the other hand, stroked the scarred memories of holding Olivia's hand as her life faded in the crushing darkness.

"I know, six weeks I sat here, alone," Bill replied.

"Maybe someday, but let's not think about that right now. Come on, think of something fun to do. We always loved skiing and hiking, or trying something new and crazy like, I don't know, surfing, skydiving, anything!"

"I've tried, it doesn't work. I just want to stay here. I can dream of you here, in the park."

"Okay, okay... Well, the park for now but, maybe a little change, like a picnic. And, what happened to the gazebo they were building over by the pond?" Olivia asked.

"This is how the park was when we started dating. Besides, you didn't like the gazebo."

"Just the colour. Make it white. It would probably look very nice, if it were white. Can you do that? Please, I never got a chance to enjoy it."

"Tomorrow night, I promise."

Just as Bill's dream of sitting in the park with Olivia had started to take shape, the call of the alarm clock brought him back to reality. He opened his eyes after silencing the alarm and stared at the half of the bed that had been vacant for almost three years. He gently placed his hand on her pillow as he recalled lying awake beside Olivia and gazing at her as she slept.