Falling in Love With Music.

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Edited

Alex's POV

"What happened to your ankle?" Dr. Rodger said, his eyes popping out of its sockets. I shifted in my seat, trying to find a comfortable spot for my sprained ankle.

"I, uh... fell," I laughed staring into my lap.

Dr. Rodger looked at me with curious eyes and clicked his pen. "Well then, let's begin. I heard you've made some new friends."

"Yeah, Elias and his band mates," I half smiled. For the past two weeks, they've made me feel like a part of the family, and not just the awkward girl who could barely speak a word to strangers.

"And how is that going?" His voice seemed distant as if he had no real intention of listening. Like most guidance counselors, he wasn't qualified for this job. He'd been in the running for becoming a math teacher, but his monotone voice would've bored students to death. Like he was doing to me. Right. Now.

"Great," I mumbled.

Throughout the rest of the session, we went through our usual 'Are you feeling better?' and 'Are you causing self-harm again?'. It was as if we were following a script already prepared for us. I just could never remember my lines. I replied with the same 'sure' and 'whatever' because that's all my mind would allow me to say. My walls were built too high to trust anyone, even if it was the same counselor I'd been seeing for the past three years.

I couldn't see the point of redoing the same shit every Tuesday. Nothing changes. It's all the same memories and regrets. He once asked me what it was that I saw when I looked in the mirror. He handed me a small framed glass and asked me to stare hard and tell him what I saw. I told him I saw battle scars. I told him I saw a shameful 12 year old trapped and afraid because she didn't understand. She didn't understand why she saw the world as vicious and cruel. She couldn't understand why at 12 she already met and got comfortable with her demons. She slept with them and fed them her blood with an old pencil sharpener blade. But no words could be laced together to describe the world around her because it wasn't reality. It was an in between place where she couldn't decipher her dreams from reality.

"Okay Miss Santos, I'll see you next Tuesday," he said, closing his notebook.

"Bye Dr. Rodger." I pressed the rubber against my armpits, feeling bruises beginning to form. Ignoring the pain, I hopped out of his office and into the quiet hallway.

"Hey Alex!" I heard a husky voice call behind me. I turned to see Austin leaning coolly against the brick wall with a plastic bag in his hand. Smiling, I clumsily hobbled toward him.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Just coming to see how you were doing," he smiled wide, pointing to his visitor's pass. His pearly whites reflected off the sun reminding me of those cheesy toothpaste commercials. I felt my insides bubble with unnerving warmth.

"Awe thanks!" I gushed. "But I'm okay, seriously."

"Well, I brought you lunch so you can't get rid of me that fast," he winked, waving a Taco Bell bag in my face. I laughed softly to myself and followed him to the lunch tables. I gently lowered myself onto the bench and watched as he unwrapped the food and revealed a plate of nachos. The scent of melted cheese and salsa flowed up to my nose, causing my stomach to growl in hunger.

"Thanks," I smiled taking a bite. I felt the cheese fill my mouth with a heavenly warmth and downed it with an old water bottle I found in my backpack.

"So you don't have class?" he mumbled between bites.

"Not at the moment, no. Tuesday mornings are usually my free time, then I have English, History and then Physics," I smiled. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen Elias since Saturday night. I sighed, feeling the guilt of my clumsiness burn a hole in my stomach. If Elias hadn't been there to break my fall, who knows what would have happened. I could've died.