The Business Trip (HayMur FF)

Playing out scenarios

Hayat continued, "I have a consultation with a specialist today for advice on the termination procedure."

Murat was left dumbfounded. He couldn't believe the conversation he was having with his wife. As a businessman with years of experience in the industry, he had always prided himself on his ability to always be one step ahead of everyone else. However with Hayat, he was constantly second guessing himself. Or maybe he was yet to come to the conclusion that matters of the heart vary greatly to business transactions. He composed himself and his thoughts before he spoke up.

"Did you make this kid on your own, Hayat?, he asked his wife.

"Did you, Hayat?", he asked her again.

"No Murat, I didn't. But i'll stop you right there if you're trying to take credit over a few moments of mindless sex, which you probably don't remember much of anyway given how much you had to drink at Mr. Ahmet's retirement party.", scoffed Hayat.

He clenched his fist in anger hearing her speak this way. "Don't, Hayat. What you and I have shared has never, ever been mindless sex. Don't cheapen our physical relationship and the special moments we've shared by calling it that." Murat spat. "And one more thing, Hayat. You wore a black lace v-neck sleeveless dress, with a tiny little bow at the back, teamed with silver chandelier earrings. I remember each and every detail about you and that night."

At this point, Hayat was taken aback at his memory of that night, but she tried her best not to make her shock apparent. Murat took this brief window of opportunity to speak.

"I want this baby, Hayat. Don't you see? This little kid is our new beginning. A symbol of our love, half you and half me. Will there ever be anything as precious as that?"

Hayat lay her hand above her stomach thinking about the life inside before she shook her head in the negative, as if she was trying to stop Murat from getting in to her head.

"You think this is easy for me, Murat? You don't think I've played out multiple scenarios in my head? Tried to find a situation where this works? I've just started out my career again, Murat. I'm just about getting by and paying the bills as is. There. I said it. Music to your ears, i'm sure."

Murat interrupted her, "Don't be silly, Hayat. Why would I be happy about that?"

"Regardless, I'm still on probation in both roles and neither will dish out money for private medical insurance so early on in the role. Aside from all the hospital costs, having a baby is expensive - from all the baby food and nappies to expensive prams, cots, clothes etc. I mean, I'd have to take out a loan just to cover the basic necessities for this kid. And you know what, Murat? I never want my kid to turn around and tell me that if you couldn't bring me up, why did you bring me in to the world?", Hayat told him with a tear in her eye.

Murat's heart broke hearing those words escape Hayat's mouth. "No, Hayat. My kid will never say that. I'm going to give our little one the world. Whatever it takes. Whatever she or he wants, it'll be there at the snap of a finger. I promise, jaan. Just please, don't stress yourself out about all of this. It's a non-issue as far as I'm concerned. I may not be owner of Sarté any more, but trust me, times aren't that bad either."

"Thanks, but no thanks Murat. Times aren't so bad that I need to live off your charity.", she retorted.

"Wow, Hayat. Charity is what we're calling our marriage now? I'm the father of this child too, as you conveniently keep forgetting. So what's the big deal if I help out with the financial costs involved, Hayat? Honestly, I really don't see the point of you working for that ass Emré anyway.", he snapped back.

"Of course you don't, Murat. That job was the only thing that kept me sane during the last month. Maybe you'd see the point when you see how well we work together. He has so much knowledge and...experience to share. I mean he's practical and really..hands on too. I've already learnt so much.", Hayat countered, trying to hide her smirk.

He felt like he'd heard enough about the practical experience his arch nemesis had been departing to his wife at this point. He spoke to try and clarify his position again, lest he dig himself a grave. "Look Hayat, i'm just saying you don't need these jobs dammit. What's the point of overworking yourself in this condition? So you can pay the rent for this place? Have you seen the state of this place?"

"This place that you look so down upon has felt way more like home than your house has in ages."

"And I know, i'm to blame for that. But seriously askim, we'll be just fine without you working these unnecessary jobs, I'll make sure our child will still have access to the best of everything."

"The best of everything, Murat? Or a credit card next to its cot with a post it of its father's whereabouts? Maybe a drawing if it's really lucky."

"Hayat....", he whispered, finding himself rendered speechless yet again. "I..I would never. I'm sorry.", was all he could muster, as he realised no justification would ever quite be enough for his previous actions.

"And what happens after 6 months of maternity leave, Murat? I go back to work and who looks after the baby? Because I for one can't afford a nanny and you'll probably have to take off at the next business opportunity you get, forgetting you've even got a family you've left behind."

Each blow from his wife was hitting him hard and he found himself fighting a losing battle. "Listen to me, janam. I plan on being there for you every step of the way. If you just let me. Every single appointment. Through all the mood swings and emotional rollercoasters. Through every random food craving, cause I know there'll be plenty with you. In fact, I'm already kinda gutted I've missed almost 4 months worth of your cravings and mood swings. Right till when we get to meet our little one. And from then, every moment onwards, I'll be there. Physically, emotionally, financially and any other way I can be. Just give me a chance? Please?", he pleaded.

"Tell me, Murat. If by chance, I make it to full term, what then? I don't want to look in that baby's face and be constantly reminded of its father. I never want to look into its innocent little eyes and be reminded of the betrayal. Least of all, I never want to begrudge that child through no fault of its own."

The final blow from Hayat hurt more than he imagined. Murat got on one knee, holding both of Hayat's hands and spoke. I know it's hard for you to believe me right now given how badly I've managed to screw up, but I need you to know that nothing happened between me and Cagla. I know you've got pictures that you think prove otherwise, but she came on to me when we were tipsy, Hayat. I haven't seen her nor been in touch with her since I pushed her away after that incident in the club. I swear on our unborn baby, nothing else happened. I'm so sorry I put you through all of this, especially in your condition but I'm begging you, don't let our baby suffer for it. I love you, Hayat. I don't know how else to say it."

"How about you show it? I am not pushing you away Murat, I am holding on for dear life. Why wouldn't you tell me about Cagla when it happened? And why didn't you ever bother to call me while you were away? And why won't you ever just let me all the way in?!", Hayat cried.

His head hung in shame as he realised he had no answer to her questions, just a promise that he'd do better.

Hayat wiped her tears away and told him "I really need to go now. I'm getting late for the consultation appointment. Depending on how that goes, the Doctor may have an evening appointment for the procedure or one for tomorrow."