His Queen(Completed)

Part 38

Vaidharbhi...

"Come in..." he said. I nodded my head and walked inside a small hut which was in the middle of no where. "I know you don't trust anyone for now but just believe me when i say this. No harm will come to you my child. You are like my grand daughter and i will make sure nothing comes to you to harm you my child. Nothing will come to harm you." He said and all i did was just a small nod. MY  voice was now lost. I am not a person any more. I am a thing. I was sold. I am a possession not a person with human feel in me. 

I am numb. 

This is my life and this is the way i am living for past few weeks. 

I placed the plate for the grandfather who saved me from the jackals. I was grateful for me to be saved from any humiliation.
"Ponni" he called me. I was called Ponni by him. I would never allow anyone to call my name because she was dead the moment her father and her little Vamsi died. This is just a corpse waiting to face the very end who is eagerly waiting for the death to take her.

Everything changed after that incident. When i was sold to this elderly person i was scared if he would take my dignity but no the Kalia who made me safe said i was in safe hands and now i can say i am in safe hands. He was a sick person who needs someone to take care off and i was that some one to him. I never spoke after what happened. It has been more than few months since i came into this phase of my life. Guess i am going to forget what it is called as speaking as i never opened my mouth. I would just nod my head.

Sitting next to him i was waving a small bamboo fan for him. He smiled and placed his hand on my head and caressed with love and affection. My eyes were getting warmer due to his unconditional love for me. He is so old but his heart was such a piece of gold. His time is so little now so he is planning to take me to his son's house where i will be working as a dasi(slave) who i was actually.

After ending the day i made his everything ready for his sleep. It was nothing but a small mat with a water on his head side and a small cotton blanket for him to sleep. I would just wait for him to sleep well . In two weeks we are going to the main kingdom. Appa asked me to go there but now i am bound to this family as a slav i cannot go. Once i go into the kingdom my hands and legs will have iron rings indicating i am a dasi. I should only wear iron jewelries. My only chain of my mother's is now no where found. I smiled thinking of my situation now. 

Who am i ? 

I am no one.

What am i ? 

I am a DASI. 

Where am i ?

I don't know. 

What is going to happen to me ?

I don't know.

Why am i still alive ?

I don't know. 

Will i survive ?

I don't know. 

Will my Mukundh come for me ?

I don't know. 

Will i be able to survive myself. 

I don't know. 

I don't know anything. I am no one. I have no one. 

My tears were now freely coming out. Holding the ring in my heart i cried in the river bank. It was a daily scenario. I am going to die waiting for my Mukundh. The only thing which i have as my possession or asset is my Mukundh's mother's ring. 

"Why mahadev ? Why ??" i cried. I hate to cry but this is the only time i live for me. 

"What karma did i do to face this ? I never intended to hurt anyone ? I did hurt Mukundh but that was before anything. I did burn his hand one time and appa gave me a punishment for one week of ubavasam (fasting), then what did i do ? I tried to save Vamsi but i failed. I tried to save appa, then that too failed. But now i am trying to save myself. Will i fail in that too ?" 

I cried cried until the sun raised. Sighing washing my face with the river water i walked to the house where i am now living. My master, the grand father was still sleeping. Sighing again i walked into the house to prepare for the day.

This is how i breathe. I am not living anymore. Just breathing and waiting for the perfect time for the yama thudargal (grim reapers) to come and collect my soul. I cannot kill myself. It is adharmam.  I will never commit any adharmam and if that means waiting for my death then i will do that either. 

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 "So this is where dasis used to stay. But as my father treats you like his own kind here this is the space you will be sleeping." He spoke in a harsh tone. I nodded my head with my face covered with veil. It is said that a dasi should be covered herself with iron jewels and not to show her face infront of anyone as they would be considered as bad luck. 

I closed my eyes and thought of the times where appa used to say i am his mahalakshmi (goddess of wealth). He would say i have to stay front door when he walks out to work. Mukundh and Rama anna was no less. They consider me as lakshmi. Wiping the tears inside my veil i waited for him to speak but he just left. 

The son whose name was Shambu was not how is father was. The grand father's name was Giridharan. Wiping the tears i stood there rooted. I was allowed by the back gates, as it is not for dasis as he said. Sighing i turned to see where i am. 

In the dark... 

That is where i stood. I don't know when my life is going to change. Either in a good way or even more in a worst way. But does that even going to change now ? I am a dasi. Will that change now ? 

Never does this going to change. 

Sighing i accepted my new title which has been entrusted to me. 

Days went nothing but blur. It was as if i am now a typical dasi. Humiliation, hatred, pain and tears were my constant companions. 

They are breaking me further and i am gladly breaking myself. I am just a pradham (corpse) with no athma in me. Smiling at my own fate i walked inside the house after completing the chores of washing the vessels near the well. The swamy would be glad if i never show my face and my veil became my constant partner for my face. My anger, my tears were been covered by her. My veil. I would laugh at times thinking about my fate but no nothing seems to make as happy as ever thinking of my death. One big solution to my entire miseries. 

"Ponni... get ready the sena pathi Dhusyanth of our desam (kingdom) is getting married and as every one in the kingdom is invited you should also come but not as a person who is attending the wedding but as a dasi." He said. As always my reaction was just a nod. 

Who is that Dhushyanth ??

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Tadaa made it finally. Soo now our dhushyanth aka our rama anna is getting married but his sister is going to attend the same wedding not as his sister but as a dasi a slave.

What does this journey going to hold them. Will they meet or not ?

Until next update...

Your love...

Shri...