I sat up, covering up my partially nude body. "Can I help you?"
"Watch it Karsyn!" She warned, pointing her finger at me. "I allowed you to disrespect me last night but I won't allow it to continue. You will respect me."
I shot her a glare and if looks could kill, she'd be dead. I loved my mother but somethings I could no longer tolerate. "Respect is a mutual thing. You have to give it in order to get it. You broadcasted my business in front of the whole restaurant without a care in the world."
"Look at this shit you did! A damn abortion Karsyn? Jesus be a fence." She palmed her face, dramatically. "I don't think you and your brothers realize how the things you do affect the family as a whole. You are a young woman Karsyn, act like it. Woman own up to their bullshit and you should have never gotten pregnant in the first place."
This was something I didn't understand. She always reminded me about how cruel people in this world could be, yet she failed to mention herself as one of those people. I just wanted to know how I was supposed to learn and grow from this fuck up if it was going to continue to be brought up. I thought the conversation was over last night but since it wasn't, I was about to end it. For good.
"Well as far as I'm concerned, you didn't own up to your own bullshit so don't tell me about owning up to mine." I snaked my neck, the attitude and anger in my tone was very noticeable.
I didn't want to be rude or disrespectful because that wasn't me. I understood her concerns but I was woman enough to own up to my shit and I did just that. Of course I'd fucked up, I knew it and so did everyone else inside of Morton's. What more did she want?
"And look at my damn neck Karsyn!" She cried, tilting her head to the side to show me the bruises. "What I told you should have never left your lips! I thought I was molding you by telling you my story, I never wanted you to make the same mistakes that I made. You hurt me... I wanted you to be better than me and you couldn't do that. I'm disappointed in you Rose." She turned on her heels and left my room.
"Whatever." I muttered.
It was finally Saturday which meant visitation day and I was sitting in the waiting area, waiting for Kristian to be escorted out with Karter right by my side. I was surprised when he opened the passenger door of my car and got in, letting me know that he was coming with me to see his twin brother.
Kristian walked in with his usual mug plastered on his face, his lips curved as we made eye contact.
God, all I want is for you to allow my brother to be home for Christmas.
" 'Syn Cityyyyyy!" He said goofily, ignoring Karter's presence.
"What's good gang?" I joked. I liked seeing my brother in good spirits.
He was un-cuffed and was told to sit down, still disregarding the fact that Karter was there. "Don't act like that." I whispered.
"Man, fuck that nigga!" He spat. "Same womb or not, he is dead to me." His veins popped out, pissed was an understatement.
I could feel all eyes on us. I tried my best to calm him down before the guard came over and cut the visit short.
Looking over at Karter, I could tell that his feelings were hurt. "You got it Bro, I'll be outside." He stood up, dismissing himself.
I was under scrutiny, Kristian's hard gaze on me made me feel uncomfortable.
"He asked about you the other day and I told him that I was coming to see you and that he should come. That's it." I defended.
"Fuck 'em."
If anybody could hold a grudge, Kristian could. He was pissed with our mother and Karter for practically abandoning him when he got locked up. Our father never came to visit but he would answer his phone calls and occasionally send money. He had every right to feel some type of way.
Instead of dwelling on that, I caught him up on everything that had happened this week.
"Fuck all of 'em and I mean that shit. Go pay your deposit and get the fuck out of that house. Don't look back either. I never told you this but when you finish with your business class, if I'm not out of here, I got some money put up in my old room. Enroll in that designer school or use it for whatever you want. You know how I felt about you taking that charge for that lame ass nigga so I never told you. But I am now so get it and do the right thing." He went on to tell me where I could find it.
"You know I never lie to you, but shit ain't looking too good for me right now." He continued.
It was as if my heart had shattered into a million tiny pieces.
"Don't say that. I don't want to hear it." I managed to choke out as my throat got dry.
"It's reality 'Syn. I fucked up by putting myself in this situation. I'm the only one to blame."
Before I knew it , I was bawling but it was like all of my problems went away when my brother wrapped his arms around me.
"I'm sorry." He repeated multiple times.
I couldn't even say anything because the alarm sounded off and I knew that the visit was officially over .
"I love you." I shouted as he and all of the men were rushed out .
Drying my eyes with the jacket sleeve, I followed everyone out the door. Throwing the keys to Karter, so he could drive. I got in and sunk down in my seat, leaning my head against the window .
"You know people out here saying that you set Dimitri up?Plus the streets talk and you know that somebody saw you out with another nigga the other night."
"Set Dimitri up for what? Karter, get the fuck out of here with that. If anybody set him up, it was his hatin' ass friends. Also, I could give two fucks about whoever said they saw me and who they saw me with. You're telling me shit that I don't care about."
Before he could fully get away from the prison grounds, he stopped the car and put it in park. "Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why you actin' like that?"
"Oh, you mean my attitude? Y'all made it this way, now take me home, please."
