Karsyn Sekai Miller
"Yesterday I told myself, I was gonna be okay. Gonna start a new day, truly happy. I was gonna take control of me."-Vivian Green
Two Weeks Later.
I waited anxiously for my brother to be escorted out of the large metal door. My eyes roamed the prison visitation room as I looked at all of the people waiting to see their loved ones. I frowned a bit at a girl, who looked to be around my age as she got frustrated with the small child in her arms while also trying to control the toddler who ran around the table. I felt for her.
Chewing on the inside of my lip, I debated on if I should help her or not, I didn't want to seem nosey and intrude but it did seem like she needed some help.
After fighting with myself, I stood up and went over to her table.
"Hey..." I trailed off. "I'm Karsyn, I don't mean to be weird or anything but it looks like you could use some help."
The look on her face let me know that she was unsure about my offer but she extended her arms to pass me the baby. Positioning her in my arms, I rubbed her back, her small cries starting to cease at my touch.
"I'm Maya. That's Nova." She gestured towards the child I was holding. "And this is Ivy." She said while lifting the other child onto her lap.
"They're both gorgeous." I complimented.
"Thank you. Who are you here to see?"
I readjusted Nova in my arms, seeing that she was starting to fall asleep. "My brother. You?"
"My baby's father. This is my first time here, does it usually take this long for them to come out?"
I shook my head. "No, I'm not sure what's going on."
"I have to work later and I cannot be late. Had I known..." Before she could finish her sentence, the doors opened.
"Well, I should be going back to my table."
She sat Ivy in the chair, and took Nova from me. "Thank you so much."
I gave a friendly smile. "No problem."
"Wait! Do you think I could have your number? You seem like a really nice girl and I could use a friend."
I was a little iffy about letting new people into my
life, because I was trying to protect my peace but I'd give her a chance.
"Sure." I gave her my number before telling her bye.
Growing emotional at the sight of my brother, he quickly pulled me into a hug, due to the strict prison rules, we had to make it quick.
"How you feeling?" He questioned, as we took a seat across from each other.
I shrugged. "I'm on an emotional roller coaster, literally. One minute, I'm feeling ok and the next minute I'm somewhere crying. It's so weird without Dimitri being around to get on my nerves. I just feel so bad, had I known all of this shit was gon' happen, I would have kept our baby. But today, I decided that it's time for me to focus to myself and not dwell to much on the past." I rambled on, not realizing what I'd said or why I'd said it until it had already came out.
"What!?" Kristian spat, angrily.
"Hey! Keep it down Miller!" The officer demanded.
His face let me know that he was furious. "What you say?"
I dropped my head, feeling embarrassed. "I'm sorry Kristian." I apologized, feeling like a failure. All he wanted me to do was go to school and do something with myself. Although this was a small slip-up that I was trying to get over, I couldn't help but feel like I'd let him down.
"Why you didn't tell me?"
"That's not something you just tell, I didn't tell anyone but Dimitri and Genesis, I didn't even tell mommy."
He blew out a breath and shook his head. "I gotta get the fuck up outta here."
We talked for the rest of the visit, I had told him about my plans to enroll into some business classes and start taking a interior design class online. I'd always had a passion for decorating and this was something that I couldn't wait to do.
After leaving the prison, I went straight to the office for the meeting that I'd planned weeks ago.
"So, I'll be starting classes soon and that's where majority of my focus will be. Of course I'll still be running things but Niko, you're the manager and I need you to step up. I should only be called for emergency reasons, ONLY! There will also be some changes to our policies, the insurance waiver is officially required to avoid having to write checks when property is damaged and all claims must be handwritten." I read from my notes. "We are also going to consider starting long distance moves but I'm still thinking about it. Anything that I haven't discussed in full detail will be emailed to y'all. That's it for today, any questions?"
No one said anything which led me to end the meeting and allow them to return back to work. Looking at the time on my watch, went eyes went wide. Today was the last day to enroll at the local college and I needed to leave now before I missed out. I rushed out of the door and hopped in my car, I started it up and reversed out of the parking lot.
Using the buttons on my steering wheel, I turned on "Who Got Me" by Alina Baraz. I made it to the school with about fifteen minutes to spare. I made sure to have all of the information that I thought that they'd need before getting out of the car and going inside the building.
"Hi! How can I help you today!?" The woman asked as I approached the window.
"Hi, I'm here to enroll in the business management class." I told her.
"Ok, I can help you with that. Have you already did the application online?"
"No ma'am, I wasn't able to access the application on my computer, the site kept crashing."
She grabbed a packet and handed it to me. "That is all of the information about the course, including the cost. But if you come through those double doors, I'll meet you and you can do it in our lab."
I did as told and followed her into the lab, where she helped me pull up the application.
"Whenever you're done, just come back to the front."
"Great. Thank you."
"No problem."
In the midst of doing the application, she came back in with three people behind her. This time instead of leaving she stayed in the room. When I was done, I stayed in my seat and read over what was in the envelope that she'd given me.
"I'm done." I told her.
"Alright. We can go into my office and process the rest of your application."
I got my things. "Excuse me." I walked through aisle.
The man in the seat moved his chair so I could get by. "My fault."
We made brief eye contact before I looked down and left the room.
The lady and I went over all of the necessary information and it was now time for me to pay.
Wow... I thought to myself as she told me the total. The money that Dimitri had left me was enough to cover the cost of the tuition. Even though I had the money, I appreciated him for this. I couldn't wait to start this journey and make him and my family proud.
