Surviving Nyx (C.Grimes/TWD) {{ON HOLD}}

THIRTY-ONE: Twelve

In other words, 'we know you're fragile and want you be back to non-raped Nyx before sending you out to look for people' I nod slowly, "I think that's a good idea, don't want me to have a panic attack in the middle of the woods." I made a self-depreciating comment which I knew made the group unease, but I just ignored it. "We'll still need your eye evaluation." Rick chimes trying to make me feel less babied, which did work a little, "course."

(30th July, 2011)

So far this month Rick and Daryl have brought in 21 newcomers and lost 6 people. I was on the fence once again, slaying walkers, Zach is late, he's my fence buddy. "Nyx, you look gorgeous as usually." Zach compliments me after he showed up an hour late, I rolled my eyes, "you can tell me when you're too busy snogging Beth to do this, I don't mind taking a double shift." I smile back at him sarcastically, "also no need to butter me up." I point out as Zach ties on his apron.

"I wasn't snogging Beth." "And I'm a pink giraffe." I nudged him with my elbow which made him laugh, "fine maybe I was, sorry for being late." I shrug trying not to make a big deal about it. I notice Karen making her way to the pairs, I wipe blood off my apron slapping it on Zach's to make him look just as messy as me, "you've killed 54." I informed him in a whisper before Karen could get close to use, we each killed another walker, "walker number?" Karen asks looking at her clipboard, "55." Zach answers first, Karen looks at me to answer the question, "48." She smiled sadly at me, "perfect, back to zero. I'll be back around in two hours." Zach and I wave goodbye to Karen, "thanks Nyx," Zach whispers to me. "Anytime, it's nice to see Beth spending time with someone her own age." Zach nodded and we got back to work.

291 walkers later me and Zach were finished, we threw our aprons into the laundry basket and cleaned the metal bars we used to kill the walkers. I took a shower, before collecting Naomi from the library where Carol was doing arts and crafts with them. "NYX!" Naomi cheered when she saw me, I knelt down holding out my arms, giving my precious princess a hug hello. "What do you say to Carol?" I asked the four year old as she sat on my hip, "thank you Carol." Naomi blew a kiss at Carol, I thank Carol before carrying Naomi to cell block C.

I look up at the wall to see Noel was on gate duty, "wanna come give Noel some company at the gate?" I ask Naomi, she nods her head excitedly. I pick up a granola bar and bottle water after I put Naomi on the ground. I take a hold of her hand and we walked slowly towards the gate. As we passed the other residence everyone chimed their hellos to us, we smiled back or waved politely.

I look over to see Carl, Patrick, Danny and Oliver playing some soccer, I wave over at the boys who all waved back. "Are they your boyfrens?" Naomi questioned me making me choke on air, "no, I don't have a boyfriend, why would you think I have one?" I ask Naomi as we got close to gate, "you're pwetty ike bet. Bet has a boyfren." Naomi shrugs, I shook my head, just then I felt something burst off the back of my head, I yelp from the pain and surprise. The soccer ball came into sight, I look over to see Carl has his hands covering his mouth in shock, which helped me deduct who hit me.

I kicked the ball back over at the group of boys 'accidentally' kicking into Carl's crouch, I mimicked his shocked reactions whilst the other boys laughed at Carl groaning in pain, "Sorry!" I call over to him, he holds up his hand in a way to tell me to save it. I turn away from the group with a stupidly happy smirk playing on my lips. "Ma Brother!" I hold out my arms invitingly, "Ma Sister!" Noel jumped into my arms, like Drake and Josh used to do.

"We're such dorks." I chuckle passing Noel the granola bar and bottle of water, "have I told you how much I love you lately?" Noel questioned as chugged the water making me and Naomi to laugh at him, "yes daily since the world went to shit." Naomi bursted into a fit of giggles when I said shit. "How yong left?" Naomi asked Noel, who looked at his watch and did some quick maths, "20 minutes." Naomi nodded before pulling out of my grip and going to sit on Noel's lap, she knew that she'd have to sit on the ground if she stayed with me.

"How was fence duty?" Noel questioned, I shrug, "okay, I had the usual banter with Zach." "Nyx... Zach is bet's boyfren.." Naomi scolds me, making me laugh, "no sweetie, we talked like friends." Naomi nods, "ike you talk wif Patrick?" I nod, Naomi beams at my confirmation. "Noel, have you asked her out yet?" I was obviously referring to Lena, she's all Noel talks about. "No I was hoping you'd mind Naomi tonight so I could ask her." Noel admits, "course." Noel smiled excitedly.

"Noel go get- never mind." Rick went to order Noel to get me as he arrived with a older man, probably late 40s, he had dark brown hair, his eyes deep-set and he was of the stockier build. We let them into the entrance between the two fences. He look so much like him, "so Nyx here is gonna ask you some questions." Rick informed the man, seeing that I was a little uncomfortable by the man's presence. "You have a kid decide who stays and who leaves?" The man questions Rick, he looks me up and down and his tongue slid across his lips.

"You're alone." I state keeping my distance, "since when?" The man takes a minute to think, "about 3 weeks ago." He answers I look into his eyes and take a step back, "who did you lose?" "my brother and nephew, found my nephew as a dead one on top of a fence, found my brother with an arrow through his head." I quickly move further away from the man, shielding Noel and Naomi. "Bad." I say to Rick as I start to tremble, "bad, bad, bad." I begin to panic, "out." Rick ordered the man who looked confused by my reaction.

Noel took my hand to try to calm me down but all it did was remind me they were there. I start to feel dizzy, my eyes blurry as my whole body trembles, "talk to me Nyx." Rick crouched down to meet my eye, "hhhis b-br-rother, hhehe's the one that-at ra-raped me." I stumble to get the words out, Rick pulled me into a hug but it didn't help, I felt like I was being suffocated. I started pulling at my top as if trying to stop it from suffocating me.

"Nyx." I see a blurry Carl, he cups my cheeks with his hands, "breathe, in..." I pull in a deep breath, "and out.." I shakily exhale. Carl guides me through ten breaths before my panic attack subsided, I sigh as I close my eyes and take in another deep breath as Carl wipes the tears from my cheeks. Carl pulls me into a hug, not holding onto me too tight. I hug him back sinking my head into the crook of his neck, and my right hand forms a fist holds desperately onto Carl's flannels shirt.

"Shhh, you're okay. She's okay." Carl rubs some small circles on my back helping me to relax. "How'd you do that?" Noel questioned Carl, just as we broke apart. "Practice." Carl says knowing it wasn't his place to explain, "Carl's been calming me down from my nightmares and panic attacks that I have in our cell or in the library." I see Noel smile at me, I try to collect myself, "sorry, they just look so alike and when he confirmed how he loss his brother, I lost it." I apologise to Rick, "there's no need to apologise."

I nod and turn to Carl, "thanks again for taking care of me." I shyly smile at him, Carl smirks back at me which causes my cheeks to burn a bright pink, "anytime, Huntress." I roll my eyes. Carl is trying to help me find some power in myself again, try to regain my ownership of my body and stop blaming myself for what happened. He's truly been my rock, my safe place... my home.