Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//26// Goodbyes

I stop in the middle of camp, pouting and crossing my arms over my chest. "Is no one going to hug me?"

"I will," Jasper says quickly, wrapping his arms around me. "What the hell happened to you?"

I grin, pulling away. "Let's just say Grounders love sex." When his eyes bulge out of his skull, I laugh. "I'm just kidding. People held grudges after Ally and I helped with that."

"You...killed people?" Jasper asks, tilting his head to the side.

"A couple," I whisper to him.

"Camari!"

I turn to see Bellamy rushing over. I embrace him quickly. "Hey. Sorry I didn't say goodbye. I figured you'd try to convince me to stay. Who knew I probably should've, right?"

He pulls back, smiling. "I'm just happy you're here."

"So," I say, looking around, "where's my father?"

"Polis," Bellamy answers, nodding.

"Right. Ever the politician," I say, smiling.

"You're actually just in time. They're leaving to go to Ally's mansion. We were complaining about how you weren't here but considering you are now-"

"Yes. I'd love to," I say, nodding.

"Great. I kept a bag packed for you just in case you arrived," he says, walking to another structure.

Clarke exits the station and her eyes land on me. She smiles quickly, walking over and hugging me. "It's so good to see you."

"Yeah, I know," I say, pulling away and smiling.

Bellamy returns with a bag, handing it to me. "There you are."

"Thank you," I say, slinging it over my shoulder.

"I'm sorry we couldn't see each other for longer but we'll talk over the radio. They're just taking two rovers now," he says, pointing to the gate.

"Right," I say, turning around as he grabs my arm. "What?"

"Murphy's going."

Two little words that deflate my mood entirely. Probably because it was difficult to have sex with someone else while not thinking about him. Needless to say, I'm still obsessed. No one is better than him and now I've lost him. I know he's still with Emori or Bellamy wouldn't have that pitying look on his face.

I nod once, smiling. "Shouldn't be a problem."

Then I turn and walk toward the rovers. I tap on the back of one and the doors open, revealing Abby holding it. She smiles as she sees me, hopping out and hugging me tightly. I look over her shoulder to find John and Emori sitting across from each other. The smile is wiped from my face.

"You know what?" I say, pulling away from Abby to look her in the eye. "I think I'll take the other rover-"

"Nonsense," she says, stepping aside so I can get in this one.

I sigh, nodding and pulling myself inside. I sit next to Emori as Abby comes inside, shutting the doors. It's official. I'm trapped inside a metal box with my ex and his new girlfriend. Not to mention my father's new girlfriend too. This should be a fun ride.

"Hey, Cam," John says, nodding at me.

"John," I say, nodding too.

"You look good," he says, staring at my clothes.

I laugh. "Keep it in your pants." I turn to Abby. "Who else is joining us?"

"A couple crew members. Nyko. Raven, Jackson, Miller. And Luna. She's a Nightblood and we discovered that Nightbloods aren't affected by the radiation," Abby explains, nodding now.

"Cool," I say. "So, we're not dying then?"

"Hopefully not," Emori says, looking at John.

He smiles at her.

I look away.

"Well, spare no details. Tell us everything that happened while you were gone," Abby says, nodding.

"Everything?" I repeat, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure," she says, nodding faster.

"Let's see. When I left Polis, I didn't really know where I was going. It took a day to find one of the Grounder villages. By that time I realized I didn't speak Trig. Ai don mai dula op," I say, shrugging. "Then I worked odd jobs. Most were...murder. I'm not sure why Grounders need me to kill people when they could do it themselves. Maybe their reputation. Anyway, I did that for a bit. Got pretty good at Trig. Fucked a couple people." Everyone shifts uncomfortably at that. "Heard the world was ending, thanks for the call by the way. Then I came here."

"We're glad you're back," Abby says.

"I know I'm just another mouth to feed," I say, nodding. "You can act like I'm not a thorn in your side but it's pointless. I know things are tight without me dragging on resources."

"Don't talk like that," Abby says, shaking her head.

"Can I speak to Marcus?" I ask, clasping my hands and unclasping them.

Abby looks hesitant for a second before pulling the radio from her bag. She presses down the button. "Marcus, are you there?"

There's a pause where my stomach drops.

"Yes. What do you need? I'm in a bit of a hurry."

I smile at the sound of his voice. Abby hands me the radio and I press down the button. "Hey. It's Camari."

"Camari? Are you alright? Where did you go?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm going to Ally's place with Abby," I say, nodding.

"Where did you go?"

I hesitate, swallowing hard. The details of my adventures may be appropriate for people I barely know and someone who's seen me naked but not my father. I don't want him to think the worst of me. It's just best if he assumes I was fine that entire time. My wrists are still sore from last night.

I chuckle a bit. "Let's not talk about that. It's a long story and I've just gotten through with telling it."

There's another pause.

"I'm glad you're okay."

I smile. "Yeah. You too, Pop."

He laughs quietly on the other end. "And you're sure you're okay?"

"Completely and utterly perfect," I say, slightly guilty for my lie.

"Great. I'll talk to you once you get there."

"Bye," I say, biting my lip.

"Bye, sweetheart."

John and I share a look at that but I turn away quickly, handing the radio back to Abby. "Thank you."

"Of course," she says, smiling softly at me.

WORD COUNT: 1703

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