Dear Neveah,

01. Dear Neveah,

" There will be no school tomorrow as everyone will get ready for the funeral of our dear Neveah Skylar Reynolds. It starts at seven pm at St. Patrick's church... ", The school principal drones and I gulp hard, pressing my feet deep onto the floor of the assembly hall so I won't faint.

My eyes cloud with tears again but I try my best not to let them down as I've already promised to be strong for us. For the bond we shared. I'm lost in my thoughts as my mind begins to drift off the first time I met Neveah at the library.

She had such a bright smile the moment she saw me that it was blinding. Her deep dimples showing beautifully on her cheeks. She barely looked like one who had problems in her life as she always kept a broad smile on her face every time.

Whoever thought my best friend will commit suicide? I never had the slightest idea because she had everything going on well for her, perfect family, perfect life, perfect grades, everyone liked her.

"Move!", a high pitched voice interrupts my thoughts and I lift my head, scanning around the room. A lot of people were already gone and most of those still here are sporting questioning looks, murmuring among themselves.

I gather my books from the floor and hang my bag across my shoulder, walking away with my head bent down.

I couldn't stand the apologetic looks from most of the students as I don't need it. I need my best friend back, even if it means me dying as well. This time, I allow the tears to fall freely from my eyes.

School closed right after the assembly and the school is almost empty so I quickly slide into the bathroom, secretly praying there's no one inside. Neveah's suicide has been the topic for gossip for the past three weeks and I haven't been able to control myself either.

I shut the door behind me and I curse in my head. A few girls are standing in front of the mirror, redoing their make-up. I push my hands deep into the pockets of my large sweater and lean again the wall, squishing my bag behind me into the wall.

"Let's go.", Leah tells the other two and they pass me apologetic looks before walking past me out of the door. I sigh and hoist myself up from leaning against the wall, making my way to stand in front of the mirror.

Only if I did something. If I forced her to tell me what's wrong. If only I showed a bit more concern towards her. She wouldn't have killed herself. I feel horrible that I don't even believe I'll be able to forgive myself. I stopped the whole world from seeing her shine by allowing her to kill herself.

If only I were a good friend to her, she wouldn't have killed herself. It's all me. I allow the tears to stream down my face, hiccuping sounds leaving my lips as I take in shallow breaths.

All the times I put my happiness before hers. If I had paid more attention, she would've been alive. I couldn't stop her.

The rushing sound of feet shuffling outside the door reminds me that I'm in the school's bathroom. My nose has started running and I look horrible.

I quickly splash water on my face but it did nothing to even wipe away the guilt hammering inside my chest. The more I thought about her, the more pain drills my heart and my stomach forms knots. Like a part of me died with her.

My eyes are still puffy and red from all the tears I've been shedding from the time I heard the news. Dark circles ring under my eyes showing off how much I barely slept since the last few weeks.

Immediately the door opens, I clean my face with my handkerchief and bolt out of the door, running as fast as my legs can carry me out of the empty halls of the school.

The pain knocking inside my chest as my foot stomp the floor is nothing compared to the hollowness engulfing me. The guilt eating me up and the nightmares. Day after day, a different scenario of Neveah dying graces my dreams every night and I know it's all my fault. It's my fault she died.

My blonde curls bounce on my shoulders as I take painful strides to the school park. I tug on my bag strap as I settle on the bleachers, making sure there's no one close to me. A couple of people are scattered around on the bleachers but not close enough to disturb my peace.

My face somewhat finds its way into my palms and I let the pain in my heart speak its language through the hot burning tears from my eyes. I'm not able to control myself this time either as my mind wanders to how I can make Neveah forgive me for letting her go when she needed me to stop her.

"Crying won't change anything, Alli. Be strong for her. You know Neveah doesn't like seeing you sad. Be strong for yourself, she's not going to come back.", I hear the extremely calm voice from my side and I snap my head to meet the person behind the calm tone.

Jackson.

He was the same guy that used to pull Neveah's pigtails when we sat in the library or literature class. The same guy that made Neveah trip over many times in literature class, making the whole class laugh. He makes sure to fill her locker with small folded papers since he thought it lacked decorations. The very same jerkface that made fun of Neveah's shoes.

This time, his eyes are also puffy and red from either crying or smoking but there wasn't any scent of smoke on him. He never did smoke and I wouldn't believe he's crying because of Neveah because he doesn't even deserve to shed a tear over her. He made her feel bad about herself.

I clean my cheek with the back of my hand and angrily grab my bag pack from the next seat and look at him one more time, more of hate than understanding.

"I wanted her to notice me. She never looked my way, not even once.", he explains in a pained expression and I watch how his eyes glisten with tears.

Slipping my arms in the armholes of my bag, I sprint away from him. Tears breaking loose down my face. He also made her kill herself. But it was all me. I could've stopped Jackson. I didn't.

Please vote and tell me what you think. It's only the first chapter.