Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//23// Going Separate Ways

"What's your name?" I ask as she takes off my shirt too.

"Niylah," she answers. "You?"

"Camari," I say, bringing her lips back to mine.

_•_•_

"Camari?" Niylah says to me while we're eating some kind of meat for breakfast.

"Yes?" I ask, covering my full mouth.

"I'd like you to stay. They killed my father and I can't be alone for the next few nights," she says, shaking her head.

"I kinda have someplace to be," I say, glancing at the door.

"Two nights. That's all I'm asking," she says.

"Alright," I say, nodding. "Just don't go falling in love with me."

I uphold my end of the deal, staying the next two nights. Two has to be my favourite. Three is a close second. Now I'm laying in her bed, naked. What's the point of wearing clothes when we're gonna have sex in a few minutes anyway?

"Camari?"

"Niylah?" I say, turning in bed with the covers over me.

Bellamy is in the doorway, holding an unconscious Raven in his arms. "What are you doing here?"

"Surviving," I say, standing and getting dressed. He covers his eyes with his hand and I laugh. "It's not like you've never seen this before. Both of you."

He sets Raven down on the bed, tying her wrists to the headboard. "Don't talk about that."

I point to her after buttoning up my shirt. "Been there."

He shoots me a look and I lift my hands. I walk past him and into the shop area, finding a lot of people. Clarke, Monty, Octavia, Sinclair, Jasper. They're all here, staring at me.

Jasper moves first, hugging me tightly. "I missed you."

"You too, buddy," I say, pulling back and smiling softly.

It's hard to think straight with the alcohol on his breath but I ignore it.

"Why are you here?" Clarke asks.

"Oh, I'm just offering my services," I say, tipping the imaginary hat on my head. "I guess I'm a prostitute now. Weird, huh?"

"I thought you were looking for Murphy," Octavia says, frowning.

"Well, I needed a place to stay the night and somehow got more than I bargained for," I say, shrugging. "I'll find him eventually."

"He's in Polis. Ontari, the new Commander, is using him as a fake Flamekeeper," Clarke says, nodding.

"While I have no idea what most of those words mean, I'm sure it'll be easy enough to get him back," I say, walking past Jasper as Monty steps in front of me.

"We sorta need you here," he says, shaking his head.

"For what?" I ask.

"We're taking the chip out of Raven's head."

_•_•_

I'm watching Raven after Clarke's bandaged her from her freak out. I'm sitting at the table as she just stares at me. Ally's feisty, I'll give her that. She'll do anything to accomplish her goal which is admirable. I mean, how many detours have I taken while finding John?

"Camari," Raven says, nodding at me.

I laugh. "Don't. I'm not letting you go, end of discussion."

"I'd like to talk about other topics," she says, cocking her head slowly the way Ally does. "That night."

"You're gonna have to do better than that if you want freedom," I say, shaking my head.

She smiles. "What about your body count?"

I frown. "What about it?"

"Well, they're must be at least some shame there. No one has sex with sixty three people and gets off without a little trauma," she says, staring into my eyes. "Who was your roughest?"

I narrow my eyes. "Why would I tell you?"

"I already have a guess," she says, smiling. "John Murphy?"

I scowl, turning to look away from her.

"Good. Let's talk about him-"

"Let's not," I say, standing and pacing beside the bed.

"Why not? Are you worried he's got his dick buried in Emori right now-?"

"Shut up," I say, shaking my head.

"Or maybe someone else? Maybe he's already found someone to replace your replacement-"

"Shut up. H-he wouldn't do that to me," I tell myself, running hands through my hair.

"How can you be so sure? He said it himself, he thought about it in the desert. I'm sure he's thinking about it with another woman-"

"Shut up!" I shout at her, tears running down my face.

"Why do you even love him?" she asks, looking at me in disgust.

"Shut up," I say, falling to my knees and burying my face in my hands.

"Cam," Bell's voice says as I feel his hand on my back.

"Look, another one of your victims-"

"Shut up!" I yell, turning around to wrap my arms around his neck and hide my face in his shoulder.

"Cam," he says, hands on my back, "what happened?"

"J-John. I need to find him," I say, pulling back to look him in the eyes.

"After this. I promise we'll find him," he says, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"I can't be in here anymore," I say, shaking my head and standing.

"Coward," Raven says.

I give her the middle finger as I walk out of the room. Niylah is rushing to me as soon as I walk out. I wave her off, walking through everyone and to the door. Once I'm out in the dark, I feel marginally better. The cold air refreshes me a bit.

"What happened with Niylah?"

I see Clarke walk out to stand beside me. "You really want me to tell you?"

She nods. "Yes."

I turn to look at the sky. "We've had sex three nights in a row. Do you know her or something?"

"We...had a similar relationship," she says, staring at the ground.

"Right. Well, I'm not a threat to you if you want her or something. I was just a distraction," I say, sighing.

"From what?"

"Her pain," I answer.

"Do you ever get tired of this?"

I turn to face her. "Excuse me?"

"Are you ever tired of opening yourself up to everyone you meet-"

I laugh loudly. "Clarke Griffin, judgemental bitch."

"That's not what I meant-"

"Well, it's what you said. So, excuse me for a minute," I say, walking into the woods.

"Where will you go!?"

"Anywhere but here!" I yell over my shoulder.

WORD COUNT: 1704

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