South Park: The Four Marks Of Hope. A OCs & Soulmate AU. Season 1 (Discontinued)

Episode 1: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe. Part 2

Mr. Garrison - After a few moments, he finally snapped out of it. "Um.. *cough* Okay Stan. Now you may sit down." I watched in sadness and nervousness as my comfort left me. "Now, where to put you." 'Oh Gods, PLEASE not by the tub of lard!' As I look around, I saw that both Stan AND Kenny were thinking the same thing. "How about, right next to Kenny." Me, Stan AND Kenny all released the breath we didn't know we were holding. 'Oh thank heavens.' I go sit next to Kenny on his left in the back. Even though we were both nervous, I can easily tell he was smiling softly at me. And he can tell the same with me.

Mr. Garrison - "And now children, our friend, Mr. Hat, is going to tell us about Christopher Columbus."

Mr. Hat - "That's right, Mr. Garrison. Christopher Columbus discovered America and was the Indians' best friend. He helped the Indians win their war against Fredrick Douglass and a freed the Hebrews from Napoleon and discovered France. And then in 1492 Columbus started a restaurant..." 'Okay, ALL of that is FUCKING COMPLETELY WRONG GODS DAMN IT!' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Calm down. We all know it's all wrong. We're in this class just to pass time. Okay?' '*Aggravated sigh* Fine. But I still fucking hate it though.' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'I know. I can tell by your faint growling.' '*soft sigh* sorry...' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'It's fine.'

[Mr. Garrison is drowned out by Kyle's voice.]

Kyle - [Whispering.] "Oh, man. I can't just sit here, I have to help my stupid brother, or I'll come home without him and my dad will start yelling, "Where's your brother, Kyle?" "You weren't looking out for your little brother, Kyle?"

Stan - [Whispering.] "Okay, okay, let's ditch school and go find him." 'Oh I'm all for that. At least it's hell of a better than this bull shit.' The Faint Voice - 'Same here.'

Kyle - [His voice is rising to an audible level.] "You know he can't think on his own, Kyle!" "Brush and floss, Kyle!" "Where has that finger been, Kyle?" 'Damn kid. Tone it the fuck down.'' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Right?'

Stan - "Dude!" 'Really.'

Mr. Garrison - "Is there a problem, boys?" 'Yes, you.' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Heh heh.'

Kyle - "Yes, Mr. Garrison, I have to go now."

Mr. Garrison - "Oh, really, Kyle? What is it this time? Another prostate tumor?" 'The fucking weird ass creepy ass hat thing obsessed freak say what now?' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Lol! Good one!' 'Thanks heh heh.' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'You're welcome.'

Kyle - "No, my little brother's been abducted by aliens. [Silence.] It's true! Ask Cartman, they gave him an anal probe."

Cartman - [Embarrassed.] "Heh, heh, that's a, that's, that's a little joke. Heh, heh." 'Yeah, and the punch line is you lol!' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Ha! Good one Saya!' 'Heh, thanks.' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'You're welcome.'

Kyle - [Kyle walks up to Mr. Garrison's desk.] "Mr. Garrison, seriously, I have to go. Can I please be excused from class?" 'How much do you bet he won't let him'

Mr. Garrison - "I don't know, Kyle. Did you ask Mr. Hat?" '*sigh* Oh my dear fucking Lord. AGAIN with that creepy ass fucking thing?' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'Saya, calm down please. I know you hate it.' 'I should burn that cursed thing.' Stan - '*sigh*' The Faint Voice - 'Please do.' 'Oh I plan on it.'

Kyle - "I don't want to ask Mr. Hat, I'm asking you!"

Mr. Garrison - "Oh I think you should ask Mr. Hat."

Kyle - "Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class?"

Mr. Hat - "Well, Kyle, no!! You hear me?! You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!" 'That THING said WHAT to my new brother!? Oh that is IT! That bitch is dying, TONIGHT!' Stan/The Faint Voice - 'New brother?'