The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (male reader insert)

Chapter 2: Dark forest

Gandalf: Here lies our path through Mirkwood.
Dwalin: No sign of the Orcs. We have luck on our side.
(Y/n): But don't count out the other dangerous things in the forest there Dwalin.
[Gandalf notices Beorn in the distance in his bear form]
Gandalf: Set the ponies loose. Let them return to their master.
Bilbo: This forest feels sick, as if a disease lies upon it. Is there no way around?
(Y/n): I feel dark magic surrounding this forest.

Gandalf: Not unless we go two hundred miles north, or twice that distance...south.
[Gandalf notices something in the forest and walks further inside, at the same time Bilbo takes the One Ring from his pocket and touches it, feeling its power]
[as Gandalf walks through the entrance of the forest he hears Galadriel's voice]
Galadriel: Something moves in the shadows, unseen, hidden from our sight. Every day it grows in strength. Beware of The Necromancer, he is not what he seems.
[Gandalf finds a tree with a red eye painted on it]
Galadriel: If our enemy has returned, we must know. Go to the tombs in the mountains.
Gandalf: The High Fells. So be it.
[Gandalf rejoins the company at the edge of the forest where they are freeing the horses]
Gandalf: Not my horse, I need it!
[the company looks at Gandalf in confusion]
Bilbo: You're not leaving us?
Gandalf: I would not do this unless I had to.
[he stops and looks at Bilbo]
Gandalf: You've changed, Bilbo Baggins. You're not the same hobbit as the one who left the Shire.
Bilbo: I was going to tell you.
[Bilbo pauses before making his confession]
Bilbo: I...I found something in the Goblin tunnels.
Gandalf: Found what?
[Bilbo hesitates again, he continues to hold the ring in his pocket, Gandalf looks at Bilbo with suspicion]
Gandalf: What did you find?
[Bilbo pauses before finally replying]
Bilbo: My courage.
[Bilbo quickly removes his hand away from the ring]
Gandalf: Good. Well, that's good. You'll need it.
[as Gandalf walks towards his horse]
Gandalf: I'll be waiting for you at the overlook, before the slopes of Erebor.
[to Thorin]
Gandalf: Keep the map and key safe. Do not enter that mountain without me.
[as he starts to get on his horse]
Gandalf: This is not the Greenwood of old, the very air of the forest is heavy with illusion that will seek to enter your mind and lead you astray.
Bilbo: Lead us astray? What does that mean?
Gandalf: You must stay on the path, do not leave it. If you do, you'll never find it again.
(Y/n): He means don't go off the path Bilbo.
[Gandalf turns his horse and starts to ride off]
Gandalf: No matter what may come, stay on the path!
[Thorin turns and starts to walks towards the entrance of the forest]
Thorin: Come on, we must reach the mountain before the sun sets on Durin's Day. Let's go, we've but one chance to find the hidden door.
[as the company walk through Mirkwood forest following the path]
Thorin: The path turns this way.
[they walk through the forest following the path until they reach a corner, Dwalin uses the end of his ax to feel the ground for the path]
Dwalin: This way.
[the company follows Dwalin and they carry on following the path until they reach nightfall]
Bofur: Air...I need air.
Oin: My head, it's spinning! What's happening?
(Y/n): Thorin I don't feel so good.
Thorin: Keep moving.
[suddenly, Nori, who's leading them stops]
Thorin: Nori, why have you stopped?
Nori: The path, it's disappeared!
Ori: What's going on?
Bofur: We've lost the path!
(Y/n): What!.
Thorin: Find it. All of you, look.
Dwalin: Look for the path!
[as they all start to look for the path they start to feel dizzy]
Balin: I don't remember this place, none of it's familiar.
Dori: It's got to be here.
Thorin: What hour is it?
Dwalin: I don't know, I don't even know what day it is.
Thorin: Is there no end to this accursed forest!
[Bilbo notices a massive spider web next to him, he touches it which causes a vibration to run through it, he does it again and he feels the vibration again]
(Y/n): What the?.
[we see Bilbo and the dwarves walking through the forest again, but Bilbo starts to feel funny, he looks down and sees that his feet are walking backwards, then he looks behind him and sees himself walking behind him, they stop when Ori picks up a pouch from the found, Dori takes it from him]
Dori: Look, a tobacco pouch. There's Dwarves in these woods.
[Bifur take the pouch from Dori]
Bofur: Dwarves from the Blue Mountains, no less. This is exactly the same as mine.
Bilbo: Because it is yours, do you understand? We're going around in circles, we are lost!
(Y/n): Thorin I think Bilbo is rig-.
Thorin: We are not lost. We keep heading east.
Dwalin: But which way is the east? We've lost the sun!
[as the dwarves and (y/n) argue amongst themselves about being lost, Bilbo looks up]
Bilbo: The sun. We have to find.. the sun.
[he looks down and taps his head]
Bilbo: Up there.
[to the others]
Bilbo: We need to...
[he sees the dwarves are now pushing each other as they fight amongst themselves]
Thorin: Enough! Quiet! All of you! We are being watched.
[Bilbo climbs the nearby tree, when he gets to the top, he breathes and starts to feel like himself again, he sees butterflies fly around him and then spots the sun shining over a lake]
Bilbo: I can...see a lake! And a...river. And the Lonely Mountain!
[he chuckles to himself]
Bilbo: We're almost there!
[he calls down to the dwarves]
Bilbo: Can you hear me? I know which way to go!
[there's no response]
Bilbo: Hello?!
[he still gets no response, so he looks over to the sun and lake when he suddenly feels himself being pulled down]
Bilbo: Hello.
[he looks down and notices his feet are bound in a spider's web]
Bilbo: Look...come on!
[as he goes to move he falls off the branch of the tree, he manages to catch himself on another branch but as he does so suddenly a giant spider emerges and lunges at Bilbo, who falls down onto the spider's web and the spider starts to wrap him up in the web]
[Bilbo is carried off to the nest of spiders, where the rest of the dwarves are also being held, as the spider that captured Bilbo crawls over him, suddenly Bilbo takes out his sword and stabs the spider with it and kills it, then he frees himself from the web and uses the ring to become invisible, he starts to hear the spiders communicating amongst themselves]
Spider #1: Kill them. Kill them! Eat them now while all their blood is running.
Spider #2: Their hide is tough. This could be juicy inside.
Spider #1: Stick it again. Stick it again. Finish it off.
Spider #2: The meat's alive and kicking.
Spider #1: Kill them, kill them now. Let us feast, feast, feast. Feast, feast!
[one of them seems to lunge towards Bilbo but it passes through as Bilbo is invisible]
Spider #2: Kill them now!
Spider #1: Feast! Feast!
[the spiders start to attack the dwarves wrapped in their webs when Bilbo throws a rock to divert their attention]
Spider #1: What is it? What is it? What is it?!
[the spiders go off to find out where the noise is coming from, one of them remains to eat his trapped dwarf]
Spider #2: Fat and juicy! Just a little taste.
[as the spider goes to eat the trapped dwarf, suddenly Bilbo hits it with his sword, the spider turns and goes to lunge at Bilbo but can't see him, Bilbo then continues to hit it with his sword]
Spider #2: Curse it! Where is it? Where is it?
[Bilbo takes his ring off and reveals himself to the spider]
Bilbo: Here!
[Bilbo then lunges his sword and stabs the spider]
Spider #2: It stings! It stings!
[the spider then falls down to his death and Bilbo then looks at his sword]
Bilbo: Sting. That's a good name. Sting.
[Bilbo uses his sword to free the dwarves from the web, they all fall to the ground]
Bofur: Where's Bilbo?
Bilbo: I'm up here!
[suddenly one of the other spiders lunges at Bilbo and they both fall from the tree onto another branch, Bilbo lose his ring, as Bilbo goes to search for the ring the dwarves fight off the rest of the attacking spiders]
Bilbo: Where is it? Where is it? Come on! Where is it?
[suddenly Bilbo notices the ring lying on the ground not far from him, as he goes to get it a spider comes out of the ground and unknowingly steps on the ring, this enrages Bilbo and he starts hitting the spider with his sword]
Bilbo: No! No! No!