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Five

"Then what the fuck, Ti?" 

"I'm sorry! I just, I woke up the next morning and actually I stayed in bed with you for like another hour or so, but the more I looked at you, the more guilty I felt about cheating on Eric."

"Ti, you weren't cheating on him. He got somebody else pregnant, you ain't do anything wrong."

"Two wrongs don't make a right, Marshall." 

"But it wasn't wrong!" I yelled frustrated.

"Yes it was!" She yelled back at me. I just shook my head as an awkward period of silence fell upon us. 

"So are you back together now?" I asked a few moments later.

She nodded and it felt like she had just stabbed a knife through my stomach. "We were never broken up." 

"What was I then?" 

"Marshall..." She said gently.  

I stopped dead in my tracks and she turned towards me. "No Ti! What was I? A hook up? Do you have feelings for me? What the fuck is goin' on in your brain? Please tell me." 

"Marshall you're not just a hook up! I- I don't know what you were, or are. I know you're one of my best friends, and you're always there for me and- I don't know I was in a really emotional place and you were saying all these sweet things to me that I just, it just felt right at the time." 

"But not anymore?" 

"No that's not what I'm saying, I'm saying we shouldn't have done it. I'm feeling guilty as fuck, and you're feeling hurt. I hurt you Marshall, and that's something I never in a million years wanted to do, and I wouldn't of if we just hadn't done it." 

"So you regret it?" 

"I don't regret it! And that's the fucked up part. I'm having all these conflicting feelings and I don't know what the fuck to do Marshall. I love Eric so fuckin' much, but I don't regret that night at all. I wish we wouldn't have done it so that everything would just be normal and easy again. I mean fuck, it's not a coincidence that I haven't seen you or spoken to you since then. I couldn't face you." 

"Do you have feelings for me?" 

She shook her head. "No." She whispered. I nodded and just started walking again, leaving her a few steps behind me. "Marshall!" She yelled and quickly caught up to me. She grabbed my hand in an attempt to stop me from walking and I complied, but I didn't turn to her. I just stared straight ahead. "Do you?" She asked quietly. 

I paused and turned to her as I debated telling her in my head. "No, Ti." 

"Then why are you so angry with me?" She asked sadly as I could feel her playing with my fingers. 

"I'm not mad at you, Ti. I'm confused." 

"What are you confused about?" 

"Well what the fuck was it then?" 

"Does it matter what it was? If neither of us have feelings then let's just leave it. There's no point in reading into something that's not there."